The Amazing Race: Double Dutch in Amsterdam

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Who doesn't love Amsterdam?

This week The Amazing Race takes us to the Netherlands! The closest I've come to the Netherlands culturally is Copenhagen, Denmark, which boasts extraordinarily relaxed drug and prostitution laws along with prolific bicycle riding. Being of Danish descent, I felt right at home and greatly proud of my sturdy forbears. Several people even mistook me for Helena Christensen, but I digress. Let's watch the hysteria unfold as we join our ten remaining teams heading for the Netherlands.

We rejoin Phil in Ireland where we left off with him last week - at the Connemara Heritage Centre, the Pit Stop for the first leg of the Race. Phil explains that the Racers get a mandatory resting period, so I guess this would be their chance to sightsee and partake in The Amazing Race's "love letter to the earth." I wonder how long they get. The second leg of the Race starts off in timed intervals, with Azaria and Hendekea, henceforth "the siblings" for short, collecting their "clue" first and the subsequent teams collecting their clues in the order in which they arrived at the Pit Stop. The siblings leave at midnight, and the clue tells them to fly to Amsterdam. I wonder if they'll be able to crack that code. Phil steps in to explain that once the teams land in Amsterdam they have to take a train to the central train station and then search the city's canals for a particular bridge where their next clue is waiting. Can I just tell you how much I would love to visit Amsterdam? I may even be willing to leave my hotel at midnight for such an opportunity. Hmm, maybe I would be a good Amazing Racer after all.

As soon as the siblings get into their car to drive to the airport, they start arguing over who is responsible for directions. Kynt and Vyxsin, from here on out "the Goths," or "Jem and Rio," which is still easier than Kynt and Vyxsin, let us know that each team only gets 59 dollars for this leg of the Race. Really? Is that enough for an airline ticket anywhere? Apparently so because everyone's going to do it. Jem and Rio are excited for Amsterdam because it is known for being quite liberal and free-thinking. It's a ginormous love fest as the rest of the teams pile into their cars and make their way to the airport. They are all in good spirits now and determined to treat each other kindly on this leg. The LA blondes complain that they haven't had facials or manicures in a few days. Imagine that, having to wash your own face and file your own nails. I don't know how the peasant masses survive. Grandpa Donald hits a curb, blowing his tire and causing him and Nicholas a huge delay. Why wasn't the Nicholas-the-airline-pilot driving?

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No Nicholas, don't move. Grandpa's got it.

And now the love fest comes to a screeching halt as Ronald and Christina - I haven't come up with an apt nickname for Ronald yet, so stand by - load up their car and Christina realizes she's forgotten her fanny pack. Ronald acts like this is the equivalent of planting explosives in their car to sabotage the entire mission. Kate and Pat, "the lesbian ministers," tell us that even though they are religious, they know that God could care less whether or not they win The Amazing Race. That's awesome and it endears me to them eternally. Grandpa Donald fixes his flat tire just as Jennifer and Nathan, the last team to leave, rip open their clue and head out.

Again we see the blurry luck involved in The Amazing Race as the teams begin to bunch up at the Shannon airport. The ticket sales counter isn't even open yet, so everyone has to wait around until 6 AM. Here's where I'd start getting really cranky. I don't do well in the wee hours. If I were sent at midnight to wait for a 6 AM opening, I'd be quite put out. Ronald and Christina get the bright idea to check the internet for flights from a hotel along the way to the airport and the lesbian ministers decide to join them. The entire time Christina is checking on flights, Ronald is pestering her, telling her she's going too slow and acting like she has ADD. Would you like to give those newfangled internets a try yourself, Ronald? I didn't think so, so zip it. The lesbian ministers are surprised at how disrespectfully Ronald talks to Christina and I agree. I'm glad he's not my daddy.

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Comments (23)

jaybird:

Ronald & Christina - How about Jekyll and Hyde? Seriously, the guy has major personality issues. What was Christina thinking bringing this idiot on the race with her? I have never seen someone soooooo absolutely rude, not even myself! Anyway, another great episode, and the teams are already lining up the way they're going to finish, and, seriously, the blondes need to see their manicurist and facialist, because they are looking seriously worn down.

jaybird:

First Post!

Thanks Honey for the recap! How about Jekyll and Hyde for Ron and Christina? Man, he is a J-E-R-K! She should leave him in Africa or someplace really rotten when they get there!

As for the blondes, they are no BQ's. They areally do look worn down. What did/does Ryan Seacrest see in Shana (though she's the hotter of the two).

eellsinoc:

Seriously - no mention of the "hippies" riding their bike right past the pit stop saying something like "I don't see it," as Phil watches on...it was down right HILARIOUS!!!

eellsinoc:

Seriously? No mention of the "hippies" riding their bike right past the pit stop saying something like, "I don't see it," as Phil looks on amusingly? IT WAS HILARIOUS!

Honey Gangsta:

YES - eellsinoc, you're totally right, that was hilarious and I DID notice it! I don't know how it escaped the recap. I'm also pretty sure the siblings were holding hands at some point and that didn't make it in, either. My head is spinning!

Much love!
-HG

PixieGal262:

They get a 12 hour rest period and they don't pay for airline tickets but they pay for every other kind of tickets, bus fare, that kind of thing. They also have to pay for hotels and food.

Great recap, but I miss the PhilPackageTM and PhilDeathTM.

SnackyCakes420:

Too bad Kate and Pat got eliminated because they were awesome. Normally I cringe whenever anybody on reality TV is a self-described Christian (i.e. Amber from Big Brother, that family from last summers Treasure Hunter), but if more Christians were like Kate and Pat I would consider going to church again. If it weren't up against football on Sundays.

featherhead:

I felt so bad for Christina, Ron is just horrible to her. He needs a reality check and to shut his mouth which is always going. When he called out the kid and his grandfather at the airport (which had nothing to do with him), you could tell that Christina was so embarassed. The siblings gross me out, they act more like a couple then brother and sister. I am not sure who I am routing for yet, it is to early in the game. Great Recap!!

eellsinoc:

Seriously? No mention of the "hippies" riding their bike right past the pit stop saying something like, "I don't see it," as Phil looks on amusingly? IT WAS HILARIOUS!

eellsinoc:

FORGIVE PLEASE - this comment box hates me!!! Sorry for the duplicates!

yankeesfan:

I'm going to officially vote Ronald as the most annoying amazing racer ever!! I can't believe Christina lets him talk to her like that...He is just plain awful...and he would not stop talking!! I'm kinda going for the blondes or the sisters just bc I really wanna see an all female team win, but I doubt they will make it all the way.

Pegster:

Christina has probably realized that Ronald's absence during her childhood was a gift.

eleanor abernathy:

Did no one notice Grandpa's shirt - that is before he took it off? I said Half Man Half Horse. Let's see Junior wear that one. Also, it really irks me that other teams refer to them as "Grandpa and Son" WTF?

Luigi:

Christina and Ronald = Sweet and Sour

And yes, I agree he is clearly one of the most obnoxious, annoying personalities ever on AR.

juddfan:

Ronald is so bad, I bet when he watches this, instead of seeing what an ass he is, he would start yelling at Christina again. I'm with you Pegster, her sweetness must be a result of the lack of him . . . TG for her.

I also think the "son" is a whimp . . lordy, he didn't think his long limbs alone would be an advantage in vaulting!!!! How funny that Gramps is an exhibitionist--probably should have stripped before he muddied his clothes though . . .

thanks for the recap, Honey, glad your move is over!!!!

fire@will:

Am I the only one to notice that the taller of the ministers looks a LOT like actor George Kennedy?

Part of Ron's charm/problem/curse is that he does not, will not, and can not see himself as others do. Still, I do think, to some degree, he realizes how lucky he is to have such a saintly daughter.

The only way I can explain a strapping young airline pilot letting his loopy grandpa do all the dirty, risky jobs is... can you say "inheritance"?

deliciousminds:

Christonald? It's fun to say...

saabotage:

I agree about Ronald. What an ass. The sound of his voice alone just makes me want to punch his ugly little face. I feel sorry for poor Christina.

TinkerbellAPixie:

Names for Ronald...

wRONg or wRONgald

Moron-ald

RonOLD

The sad thing is how much he reminds me of my Father. (eek)

talma63:

I am on the Anti-Ronald crusade. What a doouchebag of a father. Sanctimoious asshole couldn't punch his way out of a wet paper bag but is always ready to tell Christina not only to DO something, but then proceeds to talk straight through the task ad nauseam. I actually find myself yelling "SHUT YOUR FACE, ASSHAT!".

You can rag on the siblings all you want. I like them. They're cheerful and supportive. Can't stand the "airline pilot" and don't beliee that's what he really does for a living. The hippies are stupid and, the blondes are fading fast in every way. When did they ecer get the idea they were hot? Just a couple of vapid California blondes trying desperately to hang onto their youth. Sad, really.

The guy with the blonde (I forget their names ) are losers. Say good-bye soon.

What's worst is that all the guys seem to be wimpy and the women are whiny. I was really disappointed but not surprised the lesbian ministers lost so early. Lordy, they were in worse shape than "leaping lizard" Grandpa, who got owned by his own grandson. You know, judgeing by the grandson's attitude, he actually wants Grandpa to fail for some dark reason of his own.

And, did I say I can't stand that frigging asshat Ronald?

talma63:

I am on the Anti-Ronald crusade. What a doouchebag of a father. Sanctimoious asshole couldn't punch his way out of a wet paper bag but is always ready to tell Christina not only to DO something, but then proceeds to talk straight through the task ad nauseam. I actually find myself yelling "SHUT YOUR FACE, ASSHAT!".

You can rag on the siblings all you want. I like them. They're cheerful and supportive. Can't stand the "airline pilot" and don't beliee that's what he really does for a living. The hippies are stupid and, the blondes are fading fast in every way. When did they ecer get the idea they were hot? Just a couple of vapid California blondes trying desperately to hang onto their youth. Sad, really.

The guy with the blonde (I forget their names ) are losers. Say good-bye soon.

What's worst is that all the guys seem to be wimpy and the women are whiny. I was really disappointed but not surprised the lesbian ministers lost so early. Lordy, they were in worse shape than "leaping lizard" Grandpa, who got owned by his own grandson. You know, judgeing by the grandson's attitude, he actually wants Grandpa to fail for some dark reason of his own.

And, did I say I can't stand that frigging asshat Ronald?

fire@will:

TinkerbellAPixie...

I think wRONg is right!

cutebutstupid:

I don't think this is short enough to qualify as a nickname, but how about "Daddy Dearest"?

Joan Crawford's daughter was named Christina.

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