Well wouldn't you know it? As all of the teams arrive at the train station they learn that the ticket counter is closed until 6:00 the next morning. All that rushing around for nothing! How will they fill the hours until dawn? By dancing with the locals! The Sisters, perhaps still riding their caffeine high, are very pleased to participate enthusiastically in a tribal dance around a bonfire. As they shake their little Latina booties, Grandpa Donald gets excited and makes the following speech: "Boy, if I was a little younger! The Sisters, they're hot. I mean, there's no doubt about it. They're feisty, they're hot, a little bitchy, but not bad. A guy could learn to live with it." Yes, I do seem to recall Nicholas mentioning something about Grandpa Donald talking about girls inappropriately, and now here we have it. One of the Sisters pulls Grandpa Donald up to dance with them and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the highlight of Grandpa's Amazing Race. And possibly his life. He may have a heart attack and die on the spot.
Bright and early the next morning all of the teams board the same train to Bingo and begin commenting on the local smells. The LA Blondes start laughing about new perfumes and outfits from the Salon d'Afrique. Well, excuse the African poor people, ladies, for not having your brains and living in a city where you can make a career out of being arm candy. Not everyone is so clever. It must really smell bad because even stanky TK remarks on the odor, and you know it's been a long while since he's smelled anything but his own stench. Meanwhile The Siblings are remarking on how they feel like they are coming home and we are shown a small child covered in flies. Just film him, camera man. Please don't disturb the realism by handing his mother some food or money.
At least one person notices the conductor shouting "Bingo!" and everyone piles off of the train into desert wilderness. The Blondes even stop feeling sorry for themselves long enough to disembark. Jem has to help Rio down from the train and Christina has to help Moronald and his hernia. The clue box is quickly located and Phil comes striding along to explain that this clue is a Road Block.
"Watch me block your road."
Remember, a Road Block is a task that only one person can perform. This one involves a chore commonly done by local nomads. Local nomads? Isn't that an oxymoron? Whatever, the person who performs the task has to milk a camel, filling a bowl with milk up to a designated line and then drink the milk. They can't spill the milk and if their camel goes dry, they have to wait for everyone else to finish and then use one of the other camels. This sounds pretty nasty. I'd let my partner do it while I found some shade. The teams are warned that camels are sensitive to fast movements and loud noises. Good luck, Nate and Jen. I'll give you one guess as to whether Nicholas or Grandpa Donald does the Road Block. That's right! Nicholas gets comfortable while Grandpa milks away. Yes, I know I just got done saying that I wouldn't do this task either, but I also wouldn't go on this race with a senior citizen for a partner knowing full well I was going to sit everything out.
My conscience is disturbed again. CBS has set up this Road Block and a task that is meant to be dirty and gross and you know they're intently waiting for someone (or everyone) to throw up when they drink the milk, and for the local nomads, this is their life. They do this regularly - Phil even said so - this is how they live and we're watching these Americans trying to stomach it once for our entertainment. Why do I want to cry? Ok, on with the game.
Jason lets Lorena do the milking and she is immediately terrified of the camel, who keeps kneeing her hands and knocking the milk out of her dish. The non-milkers stand around screaming at the milkers to hurry up and the local nomads stand around in the background starving. Please invite them to the craft services table, producers. There are lots of boob and nipple jokes and TK is maintaining his Zen state and calmly filling his bowl. Jason calls out to Lorena, "You can do it, Baby!" and I kid you not, the camel shakes her head at the camera. Well done, editors!
« America's Most Smartest Model: Squeal Like a Pig, Boy! | Main | The Hills: One Woman's Childhood Dream is Another Man's Ordeal »
Comments (9)
Oh my God, I wanted to reach through my TV and smack Lorena. I've seen two year olds act more mature then her! I don't know how Jason puts up with her, no wonder he won't marry her. And when she asked him if he still loved her I wanted to puke. I was sad to see the sisters go, I was hoping it was going to be Lorena and Jason. Hopefully next week!!
1 of 9 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 21, 2007 4:38 AM
That recap was hilarious. I rarely LOL reading any recap and this one I did many times :) I cannot believe there was not mention of how when Lorena (I think) was trying to milk her camel it definitely looked like she was trying to do something else. I'm mad the sisters got eliminated so early. I really liked them. There's always ignorant people in every season and I think the blondes were cast in that role this season...
2 of 9 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on November 21, 2007 7:09 AM
Very funny recap! :)
To answer some of your questions (as I have watched all 11 seasons, thus far, of the Amazing Race)...
First - CBS does pay the people you see in the roadblocks and detours, etc. While I'm sure it's not a high amount to us, it's very lucrative for them.
Second - while the production company has it's own cameramen for the show, they are usually the ones who follow the teams. The company makes a concerted effort to use local cameramen and assistants in any country they go too, in order to aid the local economy. (According to the CBS website, this season over 2,000 locals were employed.)
Third - all airline tickets are paid for by credit card (and that's the only thing they can use the credit card for). Fun fact - when you hear the ticket agent say there are "2 seats available" the agent actually has to have 4 seats per team - because teams cannot travel without their two personal cameramen.
And while I know it's hard to watch images like the child with flies covering his face, I would rather CBS show me what a country is really like - and hopefully be moved to act on my discomfort, rather than see just the pretty sights of Paris and London and ignore the poverty that does shape most of the world.
Great recap! I look forward to the rest of the season, Honey Gangsta!
3 of 9 | Posted by LoneButterfly | Posted on November 21, 2007 7:28 AM
My favorite most horrifying Ugly American moment was when Ronald was trying to teach the student the word 'skyscraper" by reminding him of the movie King Kong. I guess I fast forwarded through the scene where one of the delapitated huts had a "Blockbuster Video" sign out front for all those HDTV plasma movie nights the children must enjoy.
4 of 9 | Posted by lagitha | Posted on November 21, 2007 7:51 AM
THANK YOU LoneButterfly!
Your info makes me feel much better about episodes like this. Employing locals is a fantastic way to help, and I'm so glad to hear that they do give money to the places they visit.
I have watched some seasons of The Amazing Race, and I've always loved it, but I haven't followed the series closely enough to know all the details. It's fun to take a closer look.
Lagitha - LOL on the Blockbuster comment!
Thanks for keeping me laughing (and informed) guys!
Much love!
-HG
5 of 9 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on November 21, 2007 8:58 AM
Good recap.
I think throwing money around randomly in that situation might have attracted a mob.
While I don't normally like dishonesty, I did enjoy the incident with the cab driver.
I think this was one challenge where grandpa was the best choice. He clearly had milking experience (just maybe not with camels).
I wanted the sisters to last longer! Maybe Karma is getting even for them being so naturally adorable.
6 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 21, 2007 10:00 AM
thanks for the recap Honey!!! Loved the engagement ring . . . that guy is so running for the hills . . . what do these people not understand about being kind to animals . . . . wasn't the donkey a lesson enough!? Personally I thought Grandpa's comments on the sisters was riotous, no!? Sorry to see them go too . . . I'm just so over the bitchy couples . . . for reals, they can just skip them for me and just use nice people . . . is it too much to ask!?
7 of 9 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 21, 2007 11:20 AM
Your Loreta comments were funny even though I shouldn't be laughing at someone's obvious distress. Man, she was having a bad afternoon.
I felt sorry for her but I wouldn't marry her. Run, Jason, Run.
I have watched all 11 seasons too and I bought Season 1 on DVD.
8 of 9 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on November 21, 2007 1:48 PM
I liked your recap Honey. Thanks for the giggles, they were very much appreciated.
And I just wanted to echo Lone Butterfly, CBS has a pretty good track record of trying to help the local economy of every place they visit, not just on Amazing Race, but Survivor too. So we can feel free to enjoy the mindless entertainment, and maybe, be inspired to try to help in our own way too.
I also wanted to comment about this:
[Q]My conscience is disturbed again. CBS has set up this Road Block and a task that is meant to be dirty and gross and you know they're intently waiting for someone (or everyone) to throw up when they drink the milk, and for the local nomads, this is their life. They do this regularly - Phil even said so - this is how they live and we're watching these Americans trying to stomach it once for our entertainment. Why do I want to cry? [Q/}
followed by:
[Q]Jason lets Lorena do the milking and she is immediately terrified of the camel, who keeps kneeing her hands and knocking the milk out of her dish... and the local nomads stand around in the background...[Q/}
[i]laughing[i/]!!!
One of the best parts of this show, for me, is watching the locals react to the incompetence and ineptitude of the racers. For the most part, the locals are very understanding and forgiving. But a lot of times you can just see the sheer stunned disbelief at American stupidity on their faces, and it's a joy to watch.
9 of 9 | Posted by weejie | Posted on November 21, 2007 7:20 PM