Engagement Announcement
So I have carefully reviewed my meticulous recaps and I am quite certain that in Episode 1 of Season 12 of The Amazing Race, Phil explained that 8 of the 11 legs are elimination legs. This would imply - no - mathematically assure, that 3 of the 11 legs are NOT elimination legs. After tonight we are down to 5 teams, so we are running out of chances here. I know there are rumors on the internets that there will be no elimination legs this season, but as I said, Phil did actually say there would be. He also continues to say that the last team to arrive may be eliminated. Do you think we'll ever know?
Well anyway, here we are, back at the Aukstaitija Windmill near Vilnius, Lithuania - the fifth Pit Stop in a race around the world. Phil wonders whether Nate can alter his behavior under stress and prove to Jen that he is the guy for her. Well, the guy to spend the rest of his life cheating on her, at least. Then The Hippies sit down at a laptop with their Travelocity gnome and pull up the Travelocity website to scope out their Travelocity vacation that they won for coming in first on the leg sponsored by Travelocity. And now that Travelocity has squeezed in their final Travelocity plug, The Hippies get their clue and are off to Dubrovnik, Croatia to travel to the base of the Fort of St. Lawrence to find the next clue.
"Travelocity worked for us!"
Jem and Rio leave second, right on The Hippies' heels and suggest that they all do some research together. They climb into the phonetically spelled taxis and head off to the airport.
They anticipated the Americans.
The Hippies tell us that all of their mellow coolness is more than just a clever strategy, it's who they are. It's also good for their state of mind and their relationship. You guys should share your "secret" with The Babies. They need to calm way down. Jem and Rio are wearing pink Rodeo Barbie hats and tell us that part of their strategy is to be kind and encouraging to one another. Oh that, and they want to come in first. And they try to distract the other teams by wearing bizarre accessories.
"I'm fearsome in my pink hat."
Moronald and Christina are off and they tell us that their progress in the race is reflective of their progress in their relationship. Then they start arguing. Well, more accurately, Moronald starts shooting down all of Christina's suggestions. They decide to stop at a hotel to use the phone and check for flights to Croatia. Moronald is very polite to the woman at the hotel desk and Christina implores him to be that nice to her, too, but apparently what Christina doesn't understand is that she is a complete idiot and Moronald must discipline her or she'll never learn.
The Siblings leave next and Hendekea tells us that Azaria is a bit of a control freak. No! You're kidding! Like the time he punished you for going to the bathroom? You don't say. Moronald and Christina have managed to reserve tickets by phone at the hotel and will be on a 6:25 AM flight to Dubrovnik that arrives at 11:20 AM. Good thinking, guys! And now The Babies are setting out from the Pit Stop. Jen tells us that she thinks the race has been amazing - imagine that, an Amazing Race - but she regrets that she and Nate have fought so much. Now the rest of the race will determine if they can make it as a couple. So forget the cheating and forget the last two years and forget the first five legs of the race, it's the final six legs that hold the elusive answer to that eternal question: Is Nate the man for me?
Hendekea is in a taxi telling us that she has a Bosnian friend, and therefore she knows a Croatian phrase. That makes no sense, but whatever. What's your phrase, Hendekea? "There's a party in my pants." Oh lovely. You'll feel just as at-home in Croatia as you did in Africa, you weirdo. There's a party in my pants. Just as long as you don't have to use the bathroom.
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Comments (16)
Nice job HG! Love the way Rodeo Rio just rolls off the tongue. But the one thing that I've thought about the most...screen cap of Phil -"There's nothing short about me". Hmmmmmm...what an energizing start to my day!
1 of 16 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 13, 2007 3:13 AM
All I can say is Thank God the siblings are gone. If my brother ever acted like that to me, I would have to give him a beating daily!! What kind of freaked up parents do they have? I loved it when the babies had to go back to get a taxi, it was priceless! Great Recap again, HoneyGangster!!!
2 of 16 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on December 13, 2007 4:26 AM
Finally! This Azarea needs some real anger management training. She seems like the classic abused child, hating herself for having angered the abuser. Creepy, really.
I can tolerate poor Moronald's ramblings. Clearly he has some age-related issues and tends to lapse into nonsensical senile behavior, although he's chronologically young to have such symptoms.
The Babies are insufferable. PLEASE lose, already! And, hey, HG, why do you keep poking fun st the two serene ones in the race? The hippies are friendly, polite and inoffensive, supportive to each other and still do their best. Oh, I get it, not snarky enough for ya. OK.
Jem and Rio, the only way they get to travel through these places and get out alive is that they're surrounded by cameramen, producesrs and sundry other AR personnel, else they would be ridiculed and summarily deported from whatever country they're in.
I, too, wonder where the hell the non-elimination legs are. Must be saving them for the last three?
Great recap, HG, I look forward to the next. Damn NFL football has my DVR all screwed up, so your recap is an absolute MUST.
3 of 16 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on December 13, 2007 5:48 AM
you know the non-elimination leg is going to come when the Babies come in last place. jen will be thrilled that they are last and can go home and then phil will pring the news on them!
great recap, btw! i thought the funniest part was when nicholas said they would do rowing so grandpa could rest and then they show grandpa rowing!!
4 of 16 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 13, 2007 7:34 AM
Actually, the Survivor Final is on this Sunday instead.
If the Babies happen to win, I will die. And I thought Freddy and kendra were awful!
5 of 16 | Posted by cocarla73 | Posted on December 13, 2007 7:48 AM
This is one of the rare seasons where there's really only one completely horrible group this early in the race. I would be perfectly happy with anyone except the Babies winning. There are five teams, and only one is bad. Usually, it's down to the final three, and only one is likable.
Sure, Moronald, Nicholas, and Jem are annoying, but certainly tempered by their fairly awesome respective partners. And I don't get the hippie hate, either.
The Babies make me get an itchy remote finger.
6 of 16 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 13, 2007 8:37 AM
Handkerchief and Areola were eliminated?? Crap, I have to catch up on my DVR.
I didn't think HG dated on the hippies at all. I can't believe Handkerchief and Areola are gone, just when I came up with that clever nickname for them (Handkerchief and Areola).
7 of 16 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:35 AM
I can't remember....are they called the Babies because they were always calling each other "Baby" or because they act like babies?
8 of 16 | Posted by marishka | Posted on December 13, 2007 12:33 PM
Do people think Pinky and Vixen are dating? I always thought they were just girlfriends. You know, they shared make-up, performed makeovers on each other, went shopping together. Those kinds of things.
We've never seen them making out so....
Still wish there was a gay couple in the running. These straight-ys are kind of boring. They need to bring more ZING to the race.
9 of 16 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on December 13, 2007 12:51 PM
Jem and Rio are sooo not dating. When they were at the mat and Phil told them they got second place, they both jumped up like little girls and almost-kinda hugged each other. Has anyone seen those two kiss?
The Babies are like the sadder version of Rob and Kim. Rob and Kim were funny in their ridiculous hysterics and Rob seriously made me crack up with his "Way to cry Kim, way to cry" at this ridiculous Detour with tomatoes.
The Babies just bother me though. I feel sorry for Jen, even though she's a wingless harpy. I loooove the moment where it is no longer about the cab. I was sitting on the couch giggling about her wigging over the cab and then she goes "This relationship SUCKS!" and immediately I thought, a ha, so the truth comes out.
10 of 16 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on December 13, 2007 1:44 PM
Honey how could you not mention the best sound byte in the history of reality tv? Phil saying "who's your daddy" when Christina and Moronald came in first. I nearly died and went to heaven.
I'm rooting for the hippies and the goths. So far they are the only teams that have not annoyed the crap out of me.
11 of 16 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on December 14, 2007 8:28 AM
This was one of the funniest episodes in years:
1. The Babies not getting a taxi cuz they were wet.
2. Grandpa rowing after his grandson said he'd let gramps rest. Later, when he took over for gramps his arms were all twisted up - no technique at all.
3. Phil's "Who's Your Daddy" jab - I can't believe neither Moronald or his daughter know the sexual connotations with that phrase.
4. The gunshots before they got to the mat - that was comedic genius. I can't believe Phil kept a straight face seeing that happen to each of the teams.
12 of 16 | Posted by doublecrown | Posted on December 14, 2007 1:44 PM
Yeah - non-elimination legs, where art thou?
I suspect the abusive sibling relationship is an artifact of their Ethiopian culture. Women being discounted is common in other countries, but especially in the 3rd world.
I would adopt Christina or Azarea in a minute... especially if they win.
I wouldn't mind just hanging out with Nick's grandpa or Vixen.
13 of 16 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 14, 2007 1:45 PM
Thanks Honey! Can't believe it's finale coming . . . and what about those non-eliminations!?
Gnomecorp, you had me howling by you're third repetition of your clever nicknames . . .
Guess I'm rooting for Grandpa . . . isn't he the oldest to get this far, and esp. carrying the dead weight of that useless grandson . . . I'd fly in his plane, NOT!!! Guess we all could do this and do okay, even carrying a gangly mannequin along!
I'm okay with the other teams, but I hate the bitchers . . .all of them, it's not good TV, it's not enjoyable, and since neither of them can come up with a dis that's one tenth as funny as one from Honey Gangster, I hope they go . .. go . . . .go . . . and never darken the cathodes of my ray tube again!!!!
14 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 14, 2007 2:29 PM
Someone needs to duct tape Jen's mouth shut. And if there's any tape left, it should go to Moronald.
I think I am now cheering for the Hippies...by default. Jem and Rio aren't horrible either, I guess.
How the hell are Nick and Gramps still in the Race?
Cultural side note: Hendekea's comment about her Bosnian friend wasn't out of left field. Many Bosnians are Serbs and speak the same language as Croatians (Serbo-Croatian). Also, when Moronald hit the mat, he didn't say 'hola'. He said 'hvala', which means thank you in Serbo-Croatian. :)
15 of 16 | Posted by princesspeapod | Posted on December 14, 2007 4:47 PM
Actually, I`m quite sure that at the beginning of this season Phil mentionned that there would be NO non-elimination legs.
16 of 16 | Posted by hardlyworking | Posted on December 18, 2007 6:45 AM