Well, since flights out of Madagascar aren't always a dime a dozen, the producers arranged for each team to have a set of tix that would take them to Paris, France. Once there, they would then have to make their own arrangements to get to Helsinki. Just when I was gonna get down in the dumps about what appeared to be a reduction of airport intrigue, Phil then alerted us that teams were under no obligation whatsoever to use the tickets previously provided for them. Excellent...

The first team out of the gate this week were the Beauty Queens, Dustin and Kandice. I suppose I could call them the Blondies, but it seems like every season the resident blonde team gets labeled "The Blondies." Have some originality, people! Anyway, they headed off to the airport brimming with excitement over the prospect of encountering some unique footwear. "Don't they wear wooden shoes?" Dustin asked, regarding the Finns. Technically, I suppose they could wear wooden shoes, but I'm pretty sure that's a Dutch/Swedish tradition. Gosh, Dustin. KNOW YOUR CLOGGING FACTS!

Next to leave were the junkie models, and as they headed towards the airport, Tyler explained to us that yeah, he's sometimes a dick to James, but surely his buddy understood it came from "a loving place." Cut to six months from now as Tyler whips James with a belt, yelling, "I TOLD YOU! I WANTED POT ROAST FOR DINNER! And what did you make me? MEAT LOAF!!! I [whip crack] DON'T [whip crack] LIKE [whip crack] MEATLOAF!!! [double whip crack, followed by James whimpering] Oh, I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean to yell and beat you. I love you. I love you so much. This all comes from a loving place. I'm so sorry baby."

"Hey, um, James. Could you stop sitting on my leg now?"

Speaking of high strung, we then caught up with our old friends, Rob and Kimberly, who seemed ready for another leg of bickering and idiocy. Rob told us, "Every night, Kimberly and I are looking at what do we need to do to get to this Pit Stop fastest as possible." Here's an idea: how about you be SILENT.

The Cho Brothers emerged from the Pit Stop next, and they were all full of morose determination. "We really miss David and Mary, and we want to run this leg in the memory of them," Godwin said. Whoa, it's not like they died or anything. Luckily, Erwin echoed my thoughts. "It makes them sound like they're under the grave," he laughed, at which point Godwin perked up and said, "Wait, they're alive? I thought every team that was eliminated was shot in the head! Oh my gosh. Soooo much less stress now."

Over at the airport, the Miss Americas had arrived and were looking for tickets not to Helsinki, but to the lesser known city of "Helinsky." I think it's in Poland or something. Anyway, the models soon caught up with them and told us that they had an uneasy alliance with the girls, especially because they didn't know who would stab who first. Of course, it all depended on what they'd be stabbing with. If it were a syringe full of heroin...