Hey, remember that time this season when Drew fell down? Or Shmirna fell down? Or Uchenna and Joyce drove somewhere? Or the teams all went to an airport?
If you don't, or you just want to reminisce about the good ol' first episodes of The Amazing Race All Stars, the first few minutes of this episode are perfect for you. For those of you who just need to get to the end of the episode to make sure the Team CrazyPants doesn't win this thing, the first few minutes are a waste of time.
I'm in the second category, so let's get to it -
We're in Guam and the BQ's are the first to leave at 11:53am. Their clue tells them to travel 3,800 miles to Oahu, where they must make their way to an air hanger and sign up for one of three helicopter flights to the island of Lanai.
And here's where it hits me that this season is basically over -- the teams are returning to the US. For weeks, I have been holding out hope that they'd finally go somewhere really cool and exotic and adventurous where people speak only that African click language and no one has ever seen nipple rings before. But that dream is dead.
So let's go the land of mai tais and tourists... Big sigh.
Eric and Dani leave at 12:55pm. As they drive, Eric tells us that there are a lot of flights that go to Hawaii from Guam so the BQ's might already be on a flight. Um, did Eric spend his time in Guam memorizing flight schedules? And is the Hawaii-Gaum route really that popular? Are all the Guamians sitting around thinking "Ahoy! Hawaii's beaches and tropical flavor are ever so different from life here in Guam. I must away!" (Fact: That's how people in Guam talk. If you don't believe me, ask Mirna.)
The BQ's get to the airport and discover that there's a Northwest flight that leaves at 3:50, lays over in Tokyo, and arrives in Honolulu at 7:40am. Their desire to book tickets on this flight confuses the ticketing agent.
Maybe she doesn't know that Guam to Hawaii is a very popular flight.
Then they ask her "for privacy reasons" not to tell anyone that she sold tickets to two blondes. Naturally two blonde women with TV camera in their faces have very serious "privacy concerns." They also have concerns about teeth whitening products and world peace.
Mirna and Shmirna are the last team to get their clue at 1:20pm. They rush off, trying to make up time. But Eric and Dani are already at the airport. With all those flights from Guam to Hawaii, chances are they'll all be on different flights, right?
Yeah, except not so much. Eric and Dani learn that the 3:50 flight to Tokyo is sold out but before we can even say "Oh no! They are doomed! Doomed!", we learn that they can take a 4:20 flight to Tokyo that will get them on the same connecting flight to Hawaii. Yawn.
Mirna and Shmirna get to the airport and buy tickets for the same flight. So much for needing to make up time.... Mirna asks the ticket agent if anyone else bought tickets for the flight they're on. And somehow the ticket agent knows that "anyone else" means the two other teams, and tells her that they're all on the same flight. Mirna then angrily demands their tickets, as if it's the ticket agents fault that she's in last place.
Also, if you're two hours behind and in last place, shouldn't she be thrilled that she's on the same flight as the other teams?
Also, and more importantly, is Shmirna wearing a bathing suit? Or it just an ugly dress with leggings?
Then we get some exciting airport footage, because what would Amazing Race All Stars be without teams in airports?!
Both planes land in Tokyo. And Mirna immediately notices that there's a United flight that lands in Hawaii 40 minutes before the flight that everyone is booked on. And as annoying as she is, good for her for actually looking. And also good for us, because this leads to my favorite moment: Mirna puts Shmirna on a luggage cart and pushes her through the airport.
It's the funniest thing I've seen since Go-Go Gadget Shmirna Shoes!
They race off to the United counter and beg, beg, beg. Mirna tells the woman that she owes her life to the woman if they get on the flight. And they get on the flight. And does that mean that Mirna is now dead? And if she's dead does that mean no more Mirna on Shmirna action?
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Comments (9)
That phone call Eric made to Jeremy was probably one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever had to watch on TAR. What was with Jeremy yelling "I'm rich!", and the spankings? Didn't he realise that would be on tv? Idiot.
1 of 9 | Posted by tenny
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Posted on May 11, 2007 9:29 PM
Kind of disappointed that the BQs didn't win, but oh well.
I too noticed Dustin's thong - not so much that she wears one, but that she didn't have the brains to figure: pants aren't meant for swimming. Would it have been worse if her pants slid down and she didn't have underwear?
The last challenge was stupid stupid stupid. Why did they all fly into OAK? Wouldn't SFO be closer to the old mint? And more flights into SFO? What the hell do I know, I'm not a travel agent.
Getting back to the stupid challenge: Why couldn't it be something that required some skills?
Let's hope the next season is harder and better.
2 of 9 | Posted by GiadaFan
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Posted on May 11, 2007 10:15 PM
I still have no idea which is Dustin and which is Kandice. Anyone else?
3 of 9 | Posted by Merick
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Posted on May 12, 2007 5:05 AM
Hola! I was disappointed, of course, at the BQs' defeat, but given that I'm also firmly in category #2 (i.e., team no-crazy-pants-winnage-please), I can take some solace in that. Not that I hate them, I don't; I just wouldn't be able to stomach Mirna's nonsense/gloating if they had won. Cringing just thinking about it.
I think I read somewhere that they went to Oakland rather than San Fran because the producers told them they had to. Apparently because too many people would have seen them if they flew to SFO. Because, of course, there are no people in Oakland. ?? Don't ask me. If they want to avoid people, the final leg should be in Wyoming or something.
Any-way, I also hated the final task. There should have been more to do on the last leg after the flight bunching, and the gossip challenge was just .. lame.
And, Awesomeness, Eric & Danielle aren't just broken up; they HATE each other. It's kind of funny. I think they were broken up before the race ever began. I mean, they didn't act at all like BF/GF. They won $1,000,000 and he doesn't even kiss her on the lips; he kisses her on the forehead.
Ah well, next year..
4 of 9 | Posted by Lime23
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Posted on May 12, 2007 7:52 AM
Oh, and Merick, I couldn't tell the BQs apart last season either -- but Kandice is the one with the curlier hair, sort of Maggie Gyllenhaal-esque; she's the one in the back seat of the car/the "angry" one during the "fight"...
5 of 9 | Posted by Lime23
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Posted on May 12, 2007 7:56 AM
Yeah, if they wanted anonymity, they should have landed in SJC. Or Butte, Montana. One of the two.
For the longest time, I thought Kandice was Dustin as well, Kandice looks like a Dustin. Either way, I was a bit sad when they lost.
It's kind of funny that Eric hooked up with Danielle, or wanted to at least. First episode, they seemed chummy; by the end, you could see that she was so tired of him. Even on their CBS morning show interview, they seemed to be quarrelsome siblings instead of a couple.
I still can't get over that lame final challenge. I know they are trying to do something that ties in all the destinations or contestants, but that was so lame. I know they did something in the past where the finalists had to put the other Racers in order of Elimination - what they should have done is something along the lines of naming the other racers' ranks in their respective season. Something that is more factual, and not so arbitrary like "Who is the least trustworthy?" I don't trust anyone, so I'd have taken that ten minute penalty off the bat.
6 of 9 | Posted by GiadaFan
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Posted on May 12, 2007 11:53 AM
I am so glad the BQ's didn't win. They drove me crazy in terms of using their "beauty" for things and just being generally dumb. They aren't very pretty and just...ew.
Anyway, SFO is way further away than Oakland is to the Mint in terms of how long it would take you to get there. SFO is is super-south san francisco where oakland is far, but in terms of what the traffic would look like and such, Oakland was a better choice. I don't think any of the teams knew that but I do believe that the producers knew :)
7 of 9 | Posted by PixieGal
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Posted on May 13, 2007 12:08 PM
Ummm...if Eric said he was a afraid of sharks and then got bit by one, that wouldn't make it irony but coincidence, or comeupance. Had Dani got bitten by a shark - irony.
Also, SFO has more weather delays than Oaktown so that's probably why they went into Oakland.
8 of 9 | Posted by r.pupkin
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Posted on May 14, 2007 5:28 PM
Awesomeness, I almost skipped the recap since the show was so boring, but, again, you are hilarious- loved it. And kudos for always handling the topic of Crazypants without lapsing into bad taste. It isn't easy to laugh at her shoes, butt, and luggage cart escapades, but you made it possible without ever feeling mean. And always being damn funny. Well done.
9 of 9 | Posted by Lucy
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Posted on May 16, 2007 12:36 AM