It's finally over, people. No more bullshit. The auditions for American Idol have ceased, and it only took a month to get through them. I don't think I've ever been more excited to head to the Hollywood rounds. Not because I love this next phase of the competition or anything. I'm just really sick of auditions. I think three weeks is where auditions should top off, and anything longer should be repurposed onto DVD, Fox Reality, or a some corporate website.
Nevertheless, tonight's episode promised to be the very best and very worst of all the rest, which really didn't excite me. It's like trying to find a gem in a bargain bin -- all the good stuff is already taken. Since the truly best and worst had already been handpicked for us in previous episodes, this batch constituted mostly forgettable tryouts that were sometimes miserable, sometimes great, but mostly rather blah. Man, I could have used a night off...
Tonight's show was kind of a clip show, kind of not. In one sense, it was assembled from the scraps of other audition episodes. However, all the material was new, which kind of made less clip-showy. Basically, it was like "Oprah: After The Show" but for aspiring musicians. The producers framed the hour with a series of lessons that we, the audience, were intended to learn from the experience should we plan to audition next season (don't count on it).
Lesson 1: The Look.
Seacrest sarcastically told us that would-be singers should have a distinct look that would separate them from the crowd. This meant we then had to sit through a montage of oddballs in strange costumes until we reached Christa Fazzino, one of Birmingham's finest. She was dressed in some weird outfit that was nearly impossible for me to describe with my limited, non-Michael-Kors-ish vocabulary. She wore checkered pants, a black and red corset, a red shawl, and a little, retro, round hat-thing on her head that I'm sure has a proper name, but again, since I won't be a Project Runway judge anytime soon, I'll let the fashion aficionados cough up the terminology.
(Let it be known I just spent ten minutes surfing the internet to find the name of the hat. I was unsuccessful. Oh, what I'd do for a visual dictionary right now...)
Anyway, what Christa lacked in fashion sense she made up for with... well... nothing. She was the typical, terrible singer -- flat, weird, off-key. The judges panned her, and when Christa asked if there was anything else she could do to change their opinions, Simon suggested she juggle. Needless to say, there was no juggling. Instead, she slunk to the door and started to cry about how she really, really needed this. The tears were enough to change Paula's vote, but no one else's. And with that, she disappeared into oblivion (although, she did promise to be back).
Next was Tami Gosnell, a cheery and energetic woman who may or may not have been a lesbian. Didn't really matter, but it would have been a rare sight for Idol. Anyway, she was a pedicab driver with a textured voice. She easily won over the judges with her take of "Whipping Post," and in no time, she was collecting her ticket to Hollywood. Sounded promising, but I'd be shocked if Fox would let a lesbian get to the semifinals. For now though, she could be happy in knowing that Simon loved her. I mean loved her. Personally, I think he was just trying to charm his way into a free pedicab ride.
We then learned lesson 2: seek inspiration.
Seacrest informed us that auditioners should have a role model in mind when they try out. This kicked off a montage of people comparing themselves to other, more talented Idol stars -- with the exception of Paul Kim, a pool boy who held William Hung as his inspiration. Before you start groaning, hear Paul out. His whole beef was that William Hung was essentially the reigning Asian male singer in pop culture, and Paul wanted to change all that. I hoped for his sake, as well as Asian American males across the country, that Paul would be an improvement.
Sure enough, he was! Paul performed a husky rendition of an old Shai song. His voice was great; although, I thought it was a bit too heavy on the smokiness. Still, considering how weak the men have been this season, it's nice to hear any guy who can carry the most feeble of tunes.
« Recap: Prison Break: Train of Fools | Main | Recap: Beauty & The Geek: Save A Whore, Ride A Cowboy »
Comments (12)
Great recap B-Side. I wasn't going to watch this one because I too have had it with the audition round, but was actually entertained. At this point my two favorites are the male and female backup singers (can't remember their names or audition cities).
1 of 12 | Posted by JasonR
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 7:38 AM
I realized why this extended audition period bothers me so much. I hoped that getting an in depth view at all the cities would expose the viewers to a broader range of finalists, and therefore we'd actually "know" more the contestants before they narrowed them down. But instead, we've seen far too much of the bad/ridiculous/severely challenged population...and frankly it just got old.
We've only seen a handful of the really good talented people so we're no better off than in years past with a shorter audition period.
Oh well... Obviously stupidity = more viewers.
2 of 12 | Posted by TVCheese
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 8:05 AM
During the promos before the audition shows were aired, they kept showing a hottie with great cleavage wearing a mini dress and singing an old standard ("Summertime" or such). They would then superimpose the text "Is she the one?" as they showed Simon and Randy almost drooling.
What happened? I didn't see her in any of the city shows. Did I miss something?
3 of 12 | Posted by jmchez
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 8:29 AM
B-Side,
"Annie's Song" was a tune by the late, great "Thank God, I'm a Country Boy" John Denver. If he were still alive today, I'm sure he would have been invited to be one of the has-been mentors that Idol has on later in the season.
4 of 12 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 9:25 AM
B-Side,
I don't think that thing the girl had on her head was a hat. I swear it just looks like a winter headband you wear in cold weather to cover your ears.
5 of 12 | Posted by aholic
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 12:10 PM
I have quite a few favs so far...
Love that Sundance guy, the guy who audioned with his cousin (and who got denied trip to hollywood b/c he got busted with pot in the past), the Mandissa 2007, the girl who was on one of the early episode who was born as a crack baby and was raised by her grandmother, the asian guy from last night, and a few others... but those stand out to me.
6 of 12 | Posted by cansnuts
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 1:55 PM
"Our next wannabes were a group of girls who called themselves Frisco's Carhops. From what I could gather, they were all waitresses at a drive-in, hence their retro outfits and rollerskates. Anyway, their names were Heather, Ashley, and Eboy, and they were trying out for American Idol"
Eboy?! For a moment I was all EdHill nostalgic...
Actually I think Ebony could be a contender - Big Time!
hb
7 of 12 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 2:19 PM
Great recap, B-Side. This episode was purely disappointing. Maybe if it was 2 hours long it would be a better clip show, but that wasn't gonna happen on Wednesday Bones night.
Anyway, my favorite guys have to be Sundance Head, Chris Sligh, and Sean Michel. I don't really hold much hope in Sean making Top 24, but I'm rooting for him. I could see Sundance winning the entire thing.
My favorite girls... This is a little harder, but I gotta go with Melinda Doolittle, Jory Steinburg, and Antonella Barba. I could see Melinda dueling it out with Sundance in the Top 2. Lakisha and Ebony from this episode could also go very far if they don't suffer Mandisa-ish upsets or Lisa-ish meltdowns.
8 of 12 | Posted by Smoke_Rulz
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 3:40 PM
Personally I'm just glad it's over. After one week the auditions always start getting on my nerves. By the end of week two my patience with them has completely run out. I only keep watching to try to pick out the next Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood from the bunch.
I'm horrible with names. If I were looking at photos I could say yeah, that one. Oh yeah and her too! But trying to remember names at this point is impossible. Ebony last night was very impressive, but I still feel like the winner will be one of the guys from last week.
9 of 12 | Posted by 626
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 4:34 PM
How can people be so utterly awful and not hear it? HOW? I mean, I'm no Carrie Underwood, but I consider myself to be a fairly good singer and I can tell when I hit a bad note - how can people be so tonedeaf?
I really loved Lakisha Jones - she was awesome. She had spunk too. Also Melinda Doolittle and Antonella are excellent.
As for the guys, I'm going to have to go with Sundance, that Castro guy and that other guy....I can't remember his name...But I really hope that Sundance gets rid of (or at least trims) his goatee - it looks like a brillo pad.
Great recap B-Side, as usual!
~Georgia~
10 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 5:17 PM
I will say right now, Chris (the guy who sang "kiss from a rose") is by far the best male singer out of all the people we saw audition, and Ebony, of course, is the best female contestant. I will bet anything that these 2 will make it to top 3.
From the looks of the preview of the next comming weeks, it looks like our brunette bombshell, Antonella, will be kicked off, which is sad because I really wanted her to go far in the competition.
11 of 12 | Posted by roleepolee
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 8:02 PM
Chris! Thank you! That's the guy that I meant - I loved him! Not only did he sing my favourite song EVER(!!!) but he was actually good. And he reminds me of a teddy bear.
~Georgia~
12 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe
|
Posted on February 8, 2007 10:19 PM