FLIPIT: : Amanda's like Please. Let's not dance. You're killin me here!

T.VO: I'm glad they're giving Syesha some star time tonight. She's doing well.

FLIPIT: : Nigel made Donna end with "Let's Dance" in case " The Poon Song" didn't work. Thanks for your faith, Nigel!

T.VO: She looks more bored with this one.

FLIPIT: She's gotta hate this song. She probably feels like a prisoner to "Let's Dance". It's gonna follow her to her grave.

T.VO: You know what dancing the last dance leads to.

FLIPIT: Herpes?

T.VO: The morning after pill.

FLIPIT: LOLLL

T.VO: "Last chance for love" my ass. I thought that was eHarmony. Or hell, Match.com.

Paula stands up and starts dancing.

Picture 3-48

FLIPIT: Your last chance was a long time ago, Paula! Sit down!

FLIPIT: Damn, Donna Summer! Kick ass! She took some vocal rest since last time she was on the show. AI: resurrecting your old faves one at a time. They're saving their big celebs for last. I'm hoping for Kenny Rogers. Or The Platters.

T.VO: Only one and a half hours to go!

FLIPIT: I think we're on page 30. HAH

Diet Coke commercial.

T.VO: It seems vaguely inappropriate to follow her with Paul Oakenfold and Diet Coke.

FLIPIT: Rude, right? I think this guy just makes songs to get Diet Coke commercials

Hulk commercial.

FLIPIT: Just in case it didn't annoy you enough the first time...The Hulk. Again

T.VO: The Hulk is a giant gangrene patient.

FLIPIT: Eric Bana feels so dissed right now.

T-Mobile commercial. The daughter finds out the son has all her friends as his Five Faves and she is mortified. The dad gives her advice.

Picture 4-40

T.VO: I don't get this commercial. "Maybe you should have uglier friends," says Dad.

FLIPIT: Poor sister is the ugly friend in her group.

T.VO: You know the dad is creepily checking out the daughter's friends a la American Beauty.

FLIPIT: Ugly daughters use T-Mobile. Noted.

Nintendo DS Commerical with Carrie Underwood playing with a computer dog while her real dog watches.

FLIPIT: Carrie Underwood needs better lighting. She looks like crap.

T.VO: I don't think Blondie knows how to use the Nintendo DS.

FLIPIT: What the hell is she doing?

T.VO: Stroking a puppy with her stylus.

FLIPIT: Poor thing needs a friend.

T.VO: She'll find out in a week it's not enough to feed only the virtual puppy.

FLIPIT: I fed my dog and it died! I want a new Nintendo, y'all! Waaaah.

Moment of Truth commercial.

T.VO: Moment of Truth : "You're a tranny, aren't you??" "You're married, but you're a gay man repressing your feelings because you couldn't afford couples therapy until this show came along, right?" These are all leading questions.

FLIPIT: And...it's a hit!

Back from break, Tink intros Michael Johns and Carly Smithson, saying that they were two of the shock eliminations this show is known for.

T.VO: Yay, shock departures.

FLIPIT: I know. What if they kicked off Donna Summer? That would be scandalous.

T.VO: Woah. Carly's looking S&M in this outfit.

FLIPIT: It's all snaps. Weird. She looks better than she did on the show, though. She's finally herself I guess.

T.VO: Michael Johns' fanbase just wants to see him wiggle his butt.

FLIPIT: Johns is the whitest boy of the season. And that's saying something when he's on the same year as Fetus.

T.VO : He's AUSTRALIAN, mmkay?

FLIPIT: Damn, Carly. She is kicking ass. She's singing off her track, though. Why do they have vocal tracks? LAME.

T.VO: I wonder if we'll get fanvids of Carly cheating on Tats Face with Johns. The two non-Americans. She was robbed.

FLIPIT: Yeah but it's probably better for her in the long run. She would hate being the American Idol queen.

T.VO: True. Will she get a second record deal? She's already been through the wringer.

FLIPIT: Yeah Clive will hook her up. He's been trying to get her on the show for years. I think he just put her on there for publicity and then took her off when he figured she was exposed enough to sell more than 100 albums this time.

Jimmy Kimmel comes on to do a set.

T.VO: Dude, Kimmel looks swollen. Or that's a lot of water weight.

FLIPIT: He was so mediocre the first time they brought him back.

Jimmy says Sanjaya is outside working as the valet.

FLIPIT: LOL. Poor Sanjy. Sarah Silverman gets naked with this turkey neck.

American Idol: Donna Summer Wins Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11 

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Comments (23)

Gildedlulz:

THANK FUCKING GOD.

That's all I need to say.

gildedlulz:

Oh, and Amanda's amazing performances last night made me love her even more. She so obviously hated being there; I about died laughing.

I really loved how she was dressed in a pleather vest and pants while the rest of the contestants were wearing tuxes and dresses during one of the last group performances.

LOL, Amanda!
You're my Idol.

JustJesse:

Awesome recap guys! I had a lot of fun reading it. Just a few things though. You said something about David Hernandez teaching Archuleta about something out on tour, but only the top 10 will be there, and finishing 12th, Hernandez won't be one of them. The top 12 gets to come back for the finale, but only the top 10 go on tour. And when you were talking about Carrie Underwood's songs, "Jesus and Gravity" isn't one she sings. Dolly Parton sang that when she was on the show, so maybe that's where you got confused. Other than that though, nice work! Glad to see Cook win!

T.Vo:

Heh. JustJesse -- I was making fun of Carrie Underwood since she looked like she'd borrowed Dolly's clothes, so naturally, I pretended she was going to sing "Jesus and Gravity" too.

renoblondee:

Hey guys, you made me laugh so hard during this season, but not feeling it w/ the finale so much. I think you all felt like I did LAST season. It sucked. I didn't give a flying fig WHO won. But THIS season I fell in love w/ Cookie like so many others. He. Is. The. Man.
Don't understand the hateraide. Also, maybe you all are just too young, but Bryan Adams and ZZ Top and George Michael fucking ROCKED the house God Damnit. Anywho, love ya anyway, and I'll always be back. Cheers.

JustJesse:

Whoops, my bad. :-/

georgiababe:

BREAKING NEWS: Carrie Underwood's Pants Stolen from Dressing Room, She Still Performs

LMAO Thanks for the shoutout! Glad to know that my CookLove (patent pending) is so infamous lol. And, for the LAST TIME, I will annoy all of here on here again by professing my love.

I still don't really know why you have such a problem with him, but meh. He WON (part in partial to me) and he already has a number one hit in the Philippines. I thought the Mike Myers thing was hilarious actually, especially when he implied that Fetus hasn't gone through puberty yet lmao. As well as Myers trying to shave Cook - frankly, I was rather surprised (and slightly disappointed) that you didn't comment on that.

Whatever. I think the Cookie scruff is HOT. Although I'm sure I've made that clear by now lol. I had a mini-viewing party with some other Cookie fans and you have NO idea how excited we all got when the Guitar Hero commercial on. We sent him a meat basket, actually. I'm not even joking. Shameless sexual innuendo. But I mean, have you see the size of his boots....? Lol

Anyway, the right David won, hands down. Archuleta is destined for Disney and HSM forever. I was SO happy for him - whether you like him or not, he's struggled really hard to get where he is and he deserves it.

Pretty great recap - although I was rather disappointed that you didn't comment on Cook's adorkable little dance during "Sharp Dressed Man". But probably everybody but me thought it was lame.

Anyway, I will stop my Cook Love, once and for all and say thanks for a great reason. Even though I didn't really like the way you portrayed Cook. But, like I said in another post, at the end of the day TVgasm is all in good fun. Plus, Cook won. So I'm cool.

And shout out to renoblondee - clearly, you have good taste.

georgiababe:

Okay, I lied, I'm not quite done.

There is a GH commercial on the Tube that is twice as long as the one they aired. Both Archie and Cookie have one, but obviously Archie's is like child pornography. But in Cook's you see BRIEFS. I almost died.

JustJesse:

georgiababe-

Archie's is like child pornography? Don't you think that's a bit much? I mean hell, you see more of Cook then you do of him. We all know you prefered David C so I think the Archuleta bashing can stop.

georgiababe:

Archuleta bashing? DUDE. It was a JOKE.

Don't get your shortchuletas in a knot.

BRaps:

I’m so sad for Fetus! My heart broke for him when he lost. I thought he was a shoo-in all season long, and when it came down to him and Cook I thought he would prevail similar to sugary teenybopper Jordin over wiggy-wiggy Blake. But judging by the record number of votes cast, I definitely underestimated Cook’s fanbase. I mean, Fetus must have received like 43 million votes, which probably would have been enough to win most seasons. But Cook crushed that amount by a healthy margin.

Even though I am not a Cook fan, it would be nice to see him become a success so that the show gets some of its credibility back. And I would love to see Fetus break free from his nutjob father and go on to do great things. The poor thing always seemed so nervous and tense. Hopefully he can improve his stage presence and personality like Carrie Underwood has done since she was on the show. Pants or no pants, she looked and sounded awesome on the finale! Lastly, kudos to both the Davids for being gracious in victory/defeat, and to T.Vo and Flipit for a great season of recaps! xoxo

JustJesse:

Shortchuletas? Wow, how clever you are...

georgiababe:

Hey, don't blame me, the Archies made that little gem up.

fire@will:

I wish both them - and all of you - the best. I'd love to have either of thier voices, but I don't envy them the kind of lives they are liable to lead.

Thanks again for some of the best. recaps. ever.

juddfan:

somehow, I missed the risky business send-up-and thank the lord in heaven above . . . I don't really want to see either in skivvies!!!! ick . . . the screen grabs are bad enough . . .

So thanks guys oh so much for hanging in there despite the obvious burnout, that gets worse at the end of each of these, no?

How much do I HATE Jordin Sparks . . . just puke city!!! She was on the news after and they asked her to give advice to the winners (besides fake cry) she said, "Get ready to have no sleep, I haven't had 8 hours sleep in a year"

Bitter little biotch! She's frigin' 18, I so didn't get 8 hours then, and still don't in my soon to be 45 years!!!!

I knew from the Simon apology what was going to happen, and I figured the unhypnotised masses would rise and revolt and vote for the one who wasn't shoved down our throats and Randified--I'm not sure I can watch this show anymore, toxic vomit festers in my guts and threatens to spew every time that stuffed doll spits a cliche--can't he just step down, please . . . I don't know what brought on all the hate for me, but I'm glad Cook prevailed and since I don't listen to Disney channel, I'm unconcerned about Fetus' fate . . . I'm sure he'll find his niche, and Cook, well, I'm not likely to get that CD either, but I bet it'll do well!

Kisses Flip and T.vo!!!!

JasonR:

Great liveblog guys.

At this point I've posted so much about Idol I'm just out of things to say, except for one observation: Oh, Amanda, how can you be 22 years old and still seem like a 50 year-old drunk aunt, or better yet Sally O'Malley from SNL . . . "I'm FIFTY yeahs old, and I can KICK and KICK!"

Congrats to Cook.

itchy:

The recap was so much fun, I figured, what the hell, I'll have a look at the show itself...(which I haven't bothered to do otherwise)...

First, there was, what, 10 minutes of filler before the show actually started?

Second, georgiababe, I'm sorry, but...are you not seeing the same stupid hair? The lopsided head? The stupid pubic-hair beard? The fat butt? The girl hips?

Especially this episode...I'm trying to figure out who the hell he is trying to fool with the mess he made of his hair...

In fact, I get it now, he really DOES deserve to win this show.

The fetus? giggle giggle grin gosh....

georgiababe:

Hello again, itchy.

I like his hair and I like his beard. And I haven't noticed anything else - I am sorry. And I am willing to bet that most women ages 16+ are going to agree with me.

itchy:

Ah, georgia, apparently much of America (that is, the segment of the population that actually votes in this...er...contest) agree with you!

For better or worse...

Problem for Cook is, he's posing as a rocker. But no one seriously interested in rock will ever take him seriously. Ever.

So even if he succeeds in making a career at this (Vegas will love him, after all), it will never be the career he wanted. It'll be the opposite of that.

And he knows it. You could see it in his eyes.

yuds101:

I have to say i never laughed to hard to when they both went to visit the "Guru" OMG-the looks on both thier faces were priceless! David a. looked clueless... very dissapointed u guys didn't comment on the funniest part of the show...but great recaps thoughout-thanks!

Boris8:

Did anyone catch what George Michael said to Ryan Seacrest regarding his compound after he was done singing? It sounded like flirting!

juddfan:

OMG Flipit!!! I forgot to mention

"If she wants a choker she could use my palms"

That is soooo F in' funny!!!!!! LMAOAJORIBW (Laughing my ass off and jumping off the roof in bubble wrap)

HEART

carmelicious:

FLIPIT: It's like Heaven, only gayer and whiter.

- officially my favorite thing you ever said!

I just wanted to thank you both for enduring this ridiculously long episode for our reading pleasure - and for a seasons worth of awesome recaps!

Embarrassing admission #1: I actually stood up and cheered when Cook won - don't judge!

Embarrassing admission #2: I still think Hanna ManTana should've made the final 2 - again - DONT JUDGE!

Soooo glad this board is anonymous!

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