You win, Flip. Best. Recap. Ever.

OK here's the ones that had me doubled over!
Velvet Sweaty Bear (I thought he looked like Uncle Ben from the rice box!)

Within the year she will leave Krispy Dad and start banging a roadie.

He is lucky. He looks like the Kardashian mom on a ski trip. Krispy just looks like a waiter at the Cheesecake Factory. LOL! You nailed that one!

She looks like she just got caught in a sloppy makeout session with Ronald McDonald. (EWWW and I'm scared of clowns!)

Then Lionel comes out!! WOW! He took time from his busy schedule. OUCH!

Of course the AbFab montage brings a tear and a snark. I'm going to enter that series now in my Neflix queue.

Flip you have made me laugh more in the last few months than any other single thing. Thanks so much, I needed it. God Bless you, and you know God has a sense of humor because he created the duck billed platypus and Gokey.

Outstanding, Flip! I was laughing so hard I started choking on my coffee and one of my coworkers actually came in to see if I was okay. LOL!

Oh, Ham. I really love you, but thank the sweet baby Jesus you did not win this tripe. Now you can go queen out with Katy Perry and Perez Hilton all you want while Krispy climbs mountains and shit for the evangelicals.

Skara coming out and outsinging Bikini Girl = best.AI.moment.ever.

Agreed, Sher - Skara had been annoying me to no end the entire season, then totally redeemed herself with that moment. I was already won over with the singing, but when she ripped open her dress, THAT was fantastic.

This recap was SO FUNNY... esp the first half: 10 pounds, Homer Simpson. LOL!

Fantasia has/had a reality show???? How did I not know about this! Time to head to Google.

Flipit you kicked ass this season, and this recap of the finale was your own victory lap. Thanks for all the laughs. Now only about 6 weeks to Big Brother!

My daughter and I spent the first 30 minutes laughing our butts off at Scott. That is the funniest thing I've seen since...the last time he was on tv. heeeheee

I like playing "Spot The Losers And Name The Season They Blew It" when they pan the theatre.

I wonder how many years it will take before the entire audience is made up of former contestants?

Oh Flipit. Just for mentioning Mary Kay, I want to marry you. *sigh*

Legendary recap... and so quick!

Scara should have gotten the win... her performance put them all to shame... and made me forget her many long-winded indulgences and her so-so song. Her body was only a smidge less smoking than bikini girl's (who is probably about half Scara's age).

Thanks for another great season of memorable recaps about forgettable shows.

Okay, I'm only on the second page but: "Hey jew guys! I yam heeeer!"

Seriously, I have tears streaming down my face, funniest shit EVER!

Flip - you made my day!!

I also agree that Kara totally redeemed herself with that Bikini Girl sketch - Bikini Girl was MAD and she kept trying to do runs against Kara, but it did not work.

It was AWESOME.

I also really liked Tatiana's thing - I'm sure it was staged, but I still found it really funny and she was a great sport about it.

I am disappointed that Adam didn't win, I was rooting for him all season. People have been telling me "He'll still have a great career" "Now he doesn't have to sing that horrible song" etc. etc. but I still wish he would have win. I don't think the most talented person won this season and I suspect it has far less to do with Adam's actual singing than his sexuality. All of Hokey's votes went to Kris, I'm sure, because Adam - with his black nail polish and eyeliner and extravagant costumes, not to mention his being gay - was just too much. Too bad.

Oh well, awesome recap Flip, thanks for the laughs this season! Here's hoping for an even more hilarious season 9.

Oh also, when I was watching the finale with my brother and the Top 13 were singing "So What" the last line is something like "We're gonna get in a fight!"

My brother was like "I don't believe that any of these people want to get in a fight. Anyone who wears an outfit like that and dances to stupid choreography is going to run AWAY from a fight"

I thought it was very amusing, but perhaps I'm the only one :)

Oh my Flip it!!!! HYsterical from start to finish. Bring back Honato, only she could do the ping pong routine properly!!!

I am so damn guilty of zipping my little head off, and I had to go back to see Skara. I don't know if it made up for listening to her prattling on all season, but it was good, and who's dressing her--a body like that shouldn't be such a shock!!! I, for one, was mortified that Bikini Girl would go out and lose sensitivity in her breastises for barely a cup size, and a whole thermos of fake . . . what is it with the kids today!!! NOT everyone wants to get lost in a pair of Dolly's, and if you're perfectly sexy natural, ala Kelly Pickler, why would you ruin a life time of flicks and pinches for blow up doll parts! ARGGHHHHH!!!!

well, I will shut it now, and just bask in the greatness of a season full of tasty, delicious snark courtesy of our favorite gourmet recapper, Mr. Flip It!!!!!

Loves your whole face, Baby! Can't wait for BB . . . I'm sure the delights will be plentiful (and I hope for myself that someone does it for me, even a little--what good is a summer of vouyerizing when it's just a bunch of twinks!) Actually I can extend this hope to J-mo and Mr. Dangerous too!

Best to all!!! Happy Memorial Day!!!

I thought this was the best finale show by far! I personally think that Adam should sing for Queen since Freddy Mercury is gone(although when they started the "We are the Champions"performance I turned to my daughter and said how are they going to announce"Ladies and gentlemen QUEEN!" when the singer is dead and gone). Great pairing if you ask me. Also, I believe Kris will do well with his career. He's very Jason Mraz and people seem to like that style nowadays. I was also very excited to hear Adam sing "Beth" one of my favorite Kiss songs that you just don't hear all that often. Reminds me of hanging with my friends while waiting and wondering when "Rico"(name changed to protect the innocent)would be arriving with the "party favors".I also read on another website that Bikini Girl was pissed and that when she and her sister ran into Skara backstage Skara said "sweetie, i hope your ok we didn't mean to embarass you like that"and Bikini Girl's sis called her a b*tch and said that the next time she tried to up-stage her sister she better hit up a tanning booth beforehand. LOL!

flipit, I just want to join the chorus and say that your recaps were simply phenomenal this year. You made the show much more fun to watch, so thanks!

Holy crap! I thought bikini girl was in on the joke...that makes it even better!

Was it just me or did Steve Martin look pissed during the entire performence...I don't blame him...I'd be pretty pissed if they chose the two worst singers from the season to sing my own song...At least they probably made Steve Martin's version sound better.

""I was gonna ask what's new but I think I know." LOLOLLLL. A Tink zing that worked!!"

But didn't Gaycrest say AND DO exactly the same thing to Kellie Pickler when she showed up with monster new rack?

reading on...

My damn tivo didn't tape the show bc Law & Order superceded it and we only caught the last half hour, but I'm glad we saw the Tatiana bit - OMG, girl! What a nutjob!

Didn't anyone else think it was weird to hear a wrinkly Rod Stewart singing a verrrrry old song about a cougar and how he had to get back to school?!

I'm gonna miss these hilarious recaps, Flipit. Hope you find something equally insane and amusing to recap. xox

Well, I'm almost convinced there is a Jeebus.

Consider these miracles:

A pregnant oil rig worker.

Another guy with a baby growing right on his damn forehead.

The Amazing Monkeyface Boy leaves Barnum's sideshow and becomes the next American idol.

The evidence truly is overwhelming.

Oh yeah, you just know that Skara's been starving herself and over-training for weeks to get into that kind of shape. Ain't easy at her age. No wonder she's so damn bitchy.

Have to say, I'm really glad this shit show is over. I'll miss the recaps though. Thanks for the many laughs Flip!

Haha, good recap. I was hoping for a gif of Puerto Rican Sammy Davis Jr's hip gyration though, that was epic, especially with Glambert looking on laughing. Another one was when Chola was humping the air near the start.

I am really glad I was too tired to push the button on my remote (which was my plan) when the show first came on (rough day). I couldn't believe I actually enjoyed watching this show. I figured it would be two hours of filler and commercials but it was fun.

Low point for me - Rod Stewart - horrible. High point, definately Skara - she totally redeemed herself for a whole season of being annoying. Way to kick bikini girl's butt. BG's face was priceless - she was not amused!

Happy Memorial Day flipit. Thanks for giving me so many belly laughs this year. See you next January.

Flip, best recaps EVER this season. You gave me countless hours of joy and laughter, not to mention a six pack from laughing so much. I'm sorry this season is over.

I don't know if you can say that the best singer won... it's like comparing apples and oranges. But I will say that I'm glad Kris won——I would never buy the kind of music Adam makes. It's just not my thing. Kris is probably the first AI winner whose album I might actually listen to.

And on a sort of conspiracy note, this has been bugging me all season: The sound crew NEVER turned Kris's mic up to a reasonable level, so he always sounded weaker than Adam. There's no way this was an accident. And I'm not saying Kris can belt at the same level as Adam, but there was definitely some manipulation on the part of the producers in this way.

Anyway, great recaps Flipit!

Best recap of the year hands down! That's some funny funnies, Flipit.

I appear to be the only one who thought Skaramouche made herself look like a tool. Think about it: harboring a grudge all season against a talentless bimbo, to the point where she blindsided & humiliated her in front of 50 million viewers? That takes a special kind of vindictive bitch. I can't think of anything that would make Bikini Whore slightly sympathetic EXCEPT this. I said slightly.

Honestly, this finale was a hot mess sprinkled with a few moments of clarity. Kind of a metaphor for Pauler's existence entirely.

Thank you for all the laughs!!

Memememe,

Watch Bikini Whore on all the gossip and "entertainment" shows, and you'll lose any sympathy for her pretty quickly. she's been whining about Kara since the audition...now she's offended all over again.

BW is a tiresome hack. Her 15 minutes have gone all way too long.

Oh! No doubt! She's not called Bikini Whore for nothing. I just think Kara will regret doing what she did. It's a bitch move. She can't claim to be above it at the same time she's wallowing in it, y'know?

I really don't have any sympathy for BW, just feel for someone so humiliated, at least for a little while. Then again, I don't watch the early rounds of AI because I can't take the way the producers make fun of obviously incapacitated people who don't realize they're talentless.

I just registered to say: I love these AI recaps (and Lost). It is better than watching the show itself. Thanks!!! I can't wait for the next season.

Also; all these conspiracy theories about the prejudices of Americans are starting to get on my nerves. Since when the AI voters represent USA??? You cannot make a show about cooking then expect people to vote for the best architect. People who watch this show are interested in cooking, not architecture; they are interested in pop music not glam rock. Goodness.

Love it HG...."just sucked down some resin"...that's what this show is for a little Tues and Weds sessions all winter and spring long. Hell ya. Get you through it. Read ya for BB.

memememe -- I'm with you.

While I was surprised to learn that Skara has such a good singing voice (and admittedly a killer physique), nothing makes up for the repellent combination of bitchiness and insecurity and unoriginal opining that we've been subjected to all season long.

I know I'm supposed to be connected to the internet whenever I'm awake but I was on vacation for the last couple of weeks so while I did watch the shows I didn't logon to TVGASM till this past Monday.

I watched these last two episodes of AI at a Super 8 Motel in beautiful Rapid City, S.D. For some reason I wasn't feeling the excitement of the finale. While I was surprised at the Kris win -- I was fine with it. Anybody but Church Lady has been my silent mantra and after his exit my vested interest seemed to wane.

uh, regarding the following:

"One time I lost ten pounds and bought pants that went down to my crack and really tight t-shirts and then tried to have sex with anyone I saw."

I think I've met you! I'm the guy who karate-chopped you in the neck that night you were wearing the crack pants.

Good times. :)

Love and kisses Flipster. 89% of the time you say what I'm thinking.