Alaina Whitaker is the gap toothed squishy face version spitting image of Carrie Underwood, and she also sings country and is 16. It seems kind of ridiculous that she's even on the show since there's already another winner just like her, but then I remember that Carrie Underwood has sold three times more albums than there are people in her home state of Oklahoma. Not a bad blueprint to copy. One thing that differentiates Alaina from Carrie is her vibrant personality. While Carrie came off like a piece of driftwood, Alaina comes off as a goofy watered down Kelly Pickler type. Another thing that sets them apart is that Carrie Underwood is way better.
We don't need another hero.
Alaina sings "More Than Yesterday", and she's really strong. The song's arrangement is dull and she doesn't really bring anything new to it, but compared to the previous two scaredy cats, she's Celine Dion. All three judges love her, and Simon says that it's nice to see that at least one contestant has a pair of brass ones and disses the song. Poor Spiral Starecase. They'd be in their right mind to pull AI's rights to their entire catalogue, er, that one song. Alaina nailed it.
Amanda Overmyer is the rocker chick from Indiana with Bellatrix LeStrange hair. and I am rooting for her because she is the first true rocker chick this show has ever had. Rock and Roll isn't only in the voice, it's in the soul, and in the not knowing whether the singer will fall over from an overdose in any given moment or throw up on the stage or have sex with a busload of people after not showering for three days. I could see Amanda doing all of the above.
Some contestants like to relay all the dramatic meaningful reasons they deserve to be the next Idol in interview time, but Amanda uses her intro to tell us that she was recently hit by a semi. LOL. See? Some would say that appearing on American Idol would in itself diminish any hope at true rock cred, but Amanda is a rocker who happens to live in a world where the economy is crap and all the jobs at Starbucks are taken.
A girl's gotta eat.
Amanda more than earns her dinner. She's kick ass. She sings "Baby, Please Don't Go" with a mix of Janis, Elvis, and a two year old child mumbling and blabbering nonsense before it's given a healthy dose of Dramamine and put to bed. You can't understand most of what she's growling and there are some questionable notes as she stumbles around the stage, but that's all part of why it's good. She doesn't give a FUCK. She owns the song, she owns the stage, and she even throws in a little Elvis hip twist and a tribute to Amy Winehouse hair, as if to warn us that shit's only gonna get rawer and stanker with each passing week. LOVE. HER.
The Judges do too. Paula gets a little bitchy and says "it doesn't matter if people say you're one note. You're not." Oh, snap. Paula is talking to herself through every single contestant so far tonight. Simon is mostly speechless. He likes her but it was all over the place and did she forget the words in the middle? She's good natured about it and says that's how the song is. HAHA. Randy calls what she does scatting, and I call it the sound of a senile old woman trying to remember how "In The Mood" goes. Either way, yay. Her parting words are to the guy who drove the semi that hit her: "sorry I pulled out in front of you, dude."
Amy Davis is pretty enough, but wow does this girl suck it. She sings "Where the Boys Are" so nasally and off key she makes Cameron Diaz singing karaoke in My Best Friend's Wedding sound like Edith Piaf. I would write more about her, but frankly I had to fast forward through it after five seconds. I have my limits. I will ask, though, how many people audition for this show every year? And this is what you give us? Shame on you, Nigel.
Why don't you just punch Connie Francis in the face next time?
Randy wasn't so into it and Paula says she's real perty, which is the biggest diss ever. Simon slams her too, but he could have been way meaner. I would have just thrown a Diet Coke can at her head and been done with it.
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Comments (10)
LOL your recap.
Before this week, I thought there was more talent this season. Now I'm just hoping it was a matter of the jitters and that black plague thing that's going around.
I laughed twice at Randy's remark about how all the boys can blow - once when I heard him say it and again when you reminded me.
BTW - I suspect the change in Hollyweird format was largely intended to ensure that another Sanjaya didn't slip through the cracks.
1 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on February 22, 2008 9:41 AM
Flipit, I stopped watching this show when Sanjaya stayed and stayed and stayed. It aggravated me so much, although the funniest part of it was that he really thought he could sing. Anyway, I'll watch it through your recaps, since you make even the worst show funny!
2 of 10 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on February 22, 2008 10:11 AM
Flipit, hold off on the Prozac for now. I too completely agree that this is starting off scary. I haven't been super impressed with any of them at all. This is not good to have NO standouts at this point!
3 of 10 | Posted by renoblondee | Posted on February 22, 2008 11:01 AM
Flipit - I couldn't agree more! All throughout the episode, I was thinking - these are really the best people they could find??
Are you Fing serious!?! (oddly enough the same thoughts I have while watching Rock of Love 2)
All throughout Alexandrea's performance I was so uncomfortable and prayed for it to end - when the judges were all praise-y, I had to re-wind and watch again only to be even MORE hopeful that she had just fallen down the stairs before even opening her mouth to sing! YUCK
Some of my hopes for the upcoming weeks:
1. Carly gets a volumizer.
2. During hard-rock week the only song left for Brooke White is Closer by NIN.
3. Kristy Lee Cook pulls Jamie Lynn Spears and gets knocked up mid-season!
4. Simon tells Alaina that he could fit his thumb through the gap between her teeth - and actually tries it.
4 of 10 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on February 22, 2008 12:42 PM
FLIPIT!!! glad you are back - I've missed your particular brand of snark.
This show is in serious trouble if out of 7 bazillion people, these 24 are the ones they found to abuse our eardrums for the next few months. Seriously, are any of them any good AT ALL? Even the "ringers" did a shitty job - Carly and Michael better bring their game because I think they both sucked and didnt get called out.
This is the most talented season ever?? we're screwed!!
5 of 10 | Posted by jelliepair | Posted on February 22, 2008 1:06 PM
I've missed you soooo Flip (tho I'm slowly digesting the BB recaps--I just can't make myself watch, but if Ryan was hairier I'd be right there!)
Well, for whatever reason, I love, love, love Asia'h, and her distinctive voice and fun-ness. I thought Lushington was great myself, ya know, the middle part seemed connected to nothing, but I appreciated her efforts, and slight melodic changes on the choruses. Very relevant! I liked gap tooth too, and was surprised she did well.
Amanda, who I keep forgetting is named that, as skunk chick might be better, was not that great to me. I really hope she sings the s**t out of some slower song so I can hear more than 3 or 4 notes from her. I like her, but I prefer melody. Wish she'd done a Blake, and gone completely outside of what we expect--it's fun that she can't dance! I wanna like Kady for the Brit imitation alone, we'll see.
As always, I do think the top 24 is loaded with "cannon fodder" (I believe that's what they're calling it), as Nigel's way of controlling the top 12---God Forbid that Carly doesn't make it, or MJ or David A . . . I imagine they'll be stuffing those biotches down our throats till we choke like one of Paula's dogs who found her perscription vial.
6 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 22, 2008 3:23 PM
Flipit - you are right on track! I consumed mass quantities of Bloody Marys and it still didn't help. Next week I may have to try something stronger . . .
7 of 10 | Posted by kdfinjpn | Posted on February 22, 2008 3:34 PM
DUDE YOU DO RECAPS?!?!?! WTFFFFFF!!! sorry i'm lame like that, but ive never read your stuff and, well, my dad kicked me out of his office moments ago because i was laughing too hard. you are the biggest dork in Idol land and for that, you are the true American Idol.
california roll... oh gawd, i just had a ross gellar 'umami' flashback. im dying here. im dying here!!!
hugo baio
8 of 10 | Posted by hugostop | Posted on February 22, 2008 4:57 PM
I think one of the biggest problems, besides these 24 pretty much sucking in general, is having them sing 60s songs on the first night of the real show. WTF was that. This is probably the least-enjoyed show of anyone under the age of 40, which accounts for about 99% of anyone who would vote. Why can't they sing whatever song they want?
It just cracked me up that they are calling all these 16 and 20 year olds old-fashioned when they're forcing them to sing 40 year old songs. I am disappointed in this season so far.
On another note, do you think Josiah acted like such a crybaby schoolboy bitch because he knew he had no TV in his car and would never have to watch the auditions?
9 of 10 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on February 22, 2008 9:25 PM
Flipit-you totally ROCK!
I totally laughed from the beginning to end.
I'm looking forward to more of your recaps-love ya!
also i agree with DP Hooker-forcing them to sing old songs and then calling them all old fashion was just plain STUPID.
10 of 10 | Posted by yuds101 | Posted on February 23, 2008 8:46 PM