Randy starts off by complimenting her intro clip, which can't be good. Sure enough, he hated it. Paula says she sucks but she's awesome at imitations. Simon says that agrees with Paula's remark that it sounded like Night of the Living Dead. HAHAH She so didn't say that. Simon says it was dogshit and she seems dead inside.

Picture 4-32
Kady imitating Alaina Whitaker imitating Carrie Underwood imitating a zombie.


Tink asks Kady why she fell so hard on her face and she says she came across as a dead fish because she was singing a slow song, but if she was singing a fast song she'd "jump around more". LOL. Way to miss the boat. Simon kinda bangs the table and rolls his eyes into his head like "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?"

Asia'h has nuts. You know it because she spells her name Asia'h, she's proudly sportin' eighties claw bangs, and she's singing Janis Joplin. Asia'h is the one who's dad died in a crash two days before she auditioned. It was kinda hard for me to get on board with her, but only because when something bad happens I believe you should sit in your house for half a year and gain as much weight as humanly possible. It couldn't understand her leaving in the middle of funeral arrangements to make a karaoke contest audition, I'm glad she did!!

Asia'h is adorable. She's no Janice, but she doesn't try to be. She smiles as she wails the song in her distinctive voice and even bounces around kind of retardedly. She sings a half step behind the beat and sings "take another little piece of my hor now babeh" and it's awkward and adorable. She's a fruit loop, and the girl can sang.

Picture 5-26
This was the least blurry of all the screengrabs I took.

Randy and Paula both compliment Asia'h but they don't sound too happy about it, which makes me wonder if she's a pain in the ass backstage. Simon calls it the best of the night. Wouldn't go that far. Amanda wiped the floor with this goof ball, but after seven painfully bad performaces, any sign of life should and will be lauded. Atta girl.

Ramiele Malubay seems like the cutest sweetest girl in the world and she has a nice tone to her voice. When it's not completely flat. Ouch, girl. She sings "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" and brings it style, attitude, confidence, and a lot full of clunkers. She belts in the middle and starts to get on track, but can't quite get out all the belt notes. And it also doesn't help that she's paying tribute to Winehouse with the rats nest after Amanda already did it. I know she doesn't pick the order she sings in, but if you find out you'll be wearing the same dress as another girl at prom, CHANGE. This girl has serious attitude and presence, but I had to press mute three times.

Picture 6-20
Does your California roll have mayo?

Randy and Paula are all compliments, and so is Simon! WTF? He admits that he hated her guts at first but has warmed up to her and thinks she outsung everone tonight. HUH? What'd I miss? I know that's not saying much, but still. I demand a recount.

Syesha is the one who lost her voice in Hollywood Week and walked around covering her throat and writing everything on a big pad. She came off as a total pain in the ass then, and she solidifies it tonight. No one who sits like this when they are doing their first interview on American Idol isn't a complete asshole.

Picture 7-15

Sure enough, she tells us how impressed she was by her Hollywood audition and how she's gonna always try to be as awesome as she was then. The thing that sucks about all of this is that she's right. Her Hollywood audition was good. She sings "Tobacco Road" tonight and it's screechy and hideous, which makes me feel a little better, but she'll be around for awhile.

Randy and Paula are in love, and so is Simon, who calls her one of the best girls in the competition. Alright you guys. I know that I'm sometimes unfairly grouchy because it's how I'm wired, but am I missing something tonight? Almost every single performance made me want to turn off my TV, and this is one of my favorite shows of all time. I'm confused. How did the writer's strike affect my show?

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Comments (10)

fire@will:

LOL your recap.

Before this week, I thought there was more talent this season. Now I'm just hoping it was a matter of the jitters and that black plague thing that's going around.

I laughed twice at Randy's remark about how all the boys can blow - once when I heard him say it and again when you reminded me.

BTW - I suspect the change in Hollyweird format was largely intended to ensure that another Sanjaya didn't slip through the cracks.

featherhead:

Flipit, I stopped watching this show when Sanjaya stayed and stayed and stayed. It aggravated me so much, although the funniest part of it was that he really thought he could sing. Anyway, I'll watch it through your recaps, since you make even the worst show funny!

renoblondee:

Flipit, hold off on the Prozac for now. I too completely agree that this is starting off scary. I haven't been super impressed with any of them at all. This is not good to have NO standouts at this point!

carmelicious:

Flipit - I couldn't agree more! All throughout the episode, I was thinking - these are really the best people they could find??
Are you Fing serious!?! (oddly enough the same thoughts I have while watching Rock of Love 2)

All throughout Alexandrea's performance I was so uncomfortable and prayed for it to end - when the judges were all praise-y, I had to re-wind and watch again only to be even MORE hopeful that she had just fallen down the stairs before even opening her mouth to sing! YUCK

Some of my hopes for the upcoming weeks:
1. Carly gets a volumizer.
2. During hard-rock week the only song left for Brooke White is Closer by NIN.
3. Kristy Lee Cook pulls Jamie Lynn Spears and gets knocked up mid-season!
4. Simon tells Alaina that he could fit his thumb through the gap between her teeth - and actually tries it.

jelliepair:

FLIPIT!!! glad you are back - I've missed your particular brand of snark.

This show is in serious trouble if out of 7 bazillion people, these 24 are the ones they found to abuse our eardrums for the next few months. Seriously, are any of them any good AT ALL? Even the "ringers" did a shitty job - Carly and Michael better bring their game because I think they both sucked and didnt get called out.

This is the most talented season ever?? we're screwed!!

juddfan:

I've missed you soooo Flip (tho I'm slowly digesting the BB recaps--I just can't make myself watch, but if Ryan was hairier I'd be right there!)

Well, for whatever reason, I love, love, love Asia'h, and her distinctive voice and fun-ness. I thought Lushington was great myself, ya know, the middle part seemed connected to nothing, but I appreciated her efforts, and slight melodic changes on the choruses. Very relevant! I liked gap tooth too, and was surprised she did well.
Amanda, who I keep forgetting is named that, as skunk chick might be better, was not that great to me. I really hope she sings the s**t out of some slower song so I can hear more than 3 or 4 notes from her. I like her, but I prefer melody. Wish she'd done a Blake, and gone completely outside of what we expect--it's fun that she can't dance! I wanna like Kady for the Brit imitation alone, we'll see.

As always, I do think the top 24 is loaded with "cannon fodder" (I believe that's what they're calling it), as Nigel's way of controlling the top 12---God Forbid that Carly doesn't make it, or MJ or David A . . . I imagine they'll be stuffing those biotches down our throats till we choke like one of Paula's dogs who found her perscription vial.

kdfinjpn:

Flipit - you are right on track! I consumed mass quantities of Bloody Marys and it still didn't help. Next week I may have to try something stronger . . .

hugostop:

DUDE YOU DO RECAPS?!?!?! WTFFFFFF!!! sorry i'm lame like that, but ive never read your stuff and, well, my dad kicked me out of his office moments ago because i was laughing too hard. you are the biggest dork in Idol land and for that, you are the true American Idol.

california roll... oh gawd, i just had a ross gellar 'umami' flashback. im dying here. im dying here!!!

hugo baio

DP Hooker:

I think one of the biggest problems, besides these 24 pretty much sucking in general, is having them sing 60s songs on the first night of the real show. WTF was that. This is probably the least-enjoyed show of anyone under the age of 40, which accounts for about 99% of anyone who would vote. Why can't they sing whatever song they want?

It just cracked me up that they are calling all these 16 and 20 year olds old-fashioned when they're forcing them to sing 40 year old songs. I am disappointed in this season so far.

On another note, do you think Josiah acted like such a crybaby schoolboy bitch because he knew he had no TV in his car and would never have to watch the auditions?

yuds101:

Flipit-you totally ROCK!
I totally laughed from the beginning to end.
I'm looking forward to more of your recaps-love ya!
also i agree with DP Hooker-forcing them to sing old songs and then calling them all old fashion was just plain STUPID.

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