Her performance outfit/look makes Liberace look straight and subdued. She's an Elvira tranny with hints of KISS/Criss Angel. Once she launches into "Carry On My Wayward Son" all I can think about is the South Park Guitar Queer-o episode. We're not in Kansas anymore as she warbles and screeches and misses notes and drags behind the band. "You're hurting me," whimpers my boyfriend. She's flatter than my chest circa 1995-2003. I applaud her guts/cojones, but it's too over the top to have any real vocal merit other than being memorable bad karaoke. The melody is too obvious, the band is too prominent/crucial to the song, and... where is Tim Gunn when you need him?
Cruella de Vil after giving up cigarettes and blow.
The judges are cringing, and her performance may have induced irritable bowel syndrome in Simon Cowell. Randy loves Kansas and the band, but denounces the song for being too heavy on the melodies, too band-backed, and not bluesy enough for Amanda. Epic fail. Paula, avoiding the real matter at hand, proclaims that Amanda can DANCE! Paula suggests that Amanda lift her self-imposed Janis Joplin ban because she was the epitome of suck tonight. And to do what feels right and fits and not worry about anything else, but that she's needed in the competition because ratings are sagging. And to try some paint thinner on the heavy makeup. Oh, and bluesy rock. Bluesy rock.
Simon is frustrated because she came over as very natural, very cool in her film and that the performance came off as contrived and fake (um, doesn't the show supply the hair and makeup and stylists?) He tells her that her version of the song sucks next to this 10-year-old girl playing the song on a Yamaha Electone while wearing a feather boa and rightly so.
Alaina Whitaker has a secret. She doesn't like vegetables, anything green, or for her food to touch or ooze onto each other. Hon, that's called OCD. At one point, she had to use different forks for each entrée or side dish. She's going to be twee and sing "Hopelessly Devoted to You." Are we on the wrong reality show, or did we time warp back into NBC's You're the One That I want? I wouldn't be surprised if Alaina tried out for that one too. Maybe America loves Grease more than I do, but Alaina's performance screams local beauty pageant /podunk talent show/regional Star Search. She's not the national disaster that Amanda Overmeyer is, but she's possibly worse.The vocals are just generic and not perfectly on key. Forgettable, with a country-fried steak aftertaste. She's also dressed as a fancy sack of potatoes in a strapless dress with a bubble hem.
You know you're in trouble when you blend in perfectly with the screensaver.
Randy loves Olivia Newton-John but he doesn't think the song suited her. Pitchy, restrained, and sharp. Paula envies Alaina's skin and gams and tells her she did a real good job. She demurs that it wasn't as bad as Randy said. Simon cuts to the heart of the matter and asks if Alaina's grandma prepared her for the audition, since everything seems so old-fashioned and packaged. On a positive note, he thinks she's a dark horse, whatever that means, and needs to become relevant. Not to get technical, but it's the show's wardrobe people who pick out the outfits and do hair and makeup. Alaina is just too Pollyanna/goody-goody for them right now, so perhaps they'll dye her hair brown for next week and dirty her up. "It's a very cute dress, darling, but I think we just gots to mess you up," says Paula. Seacrest lamely jabs at Simon's monotonous wardrobe and fails as we digress into a discussion of Tink's fashion sense. I find five dollars in my couch.
Alexandrea Lushington, who competed against Fetus in Star Search, reveals that she is a poster child of the Atlanta Fire department. She performed at Ground Zero several months after 9/11 and is known for her performance...yeah, let's get on with this. I am perplexed. Lushington's outfit says, "I'm a sk8er boi who enjoys wearing muted colors." Or someone who was kicked out of the Cheetah Girls after Raven-Symone realized she was a blimp next to Lushington's skinny ankles.
Aberombie men's called, they want their clothes back.
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Comments (16)
The fact that you referenced Butters in relation to Lushington's song choice means you're my best friend forever and ever!
1 of 16 | Posted by Izzyboy | Posted on February 29, 2008 6:27 AM
The fact that you referenced Butters in relation to Lushington's song choice means you're my best friend forever and ever!
2 of 16 | Posted by Izzyboy | Posted on February 29, 2008 6:28 AM
I love the music of the 80's. This new AI group, however, will continue to butcher every song they attempt.
Except, I guess, for Fetus. From all the breathless ass kissing I've seen, apparently he's been designated as Jesus Christ 2.0.
That is all.
3 of 16 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on February 29, 2008 7:15 AM
I noticed the scarfs, too. Are they prtecting their vocal cords?
I can't stand Amanda and hope she goes fast!
4 of 16 | Posted by menomor3 | Posted on February 29, 2008 7:25 AM
T.Vo, I'm not even through the recap yet, but I had to give you kudos for the Bill as Towlie screencap. That was so random and hilarious. LMAO!
5 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:15 AM
OK, I finished. Recap was absolutely hilarious. Double threat with the sarcastic recapping of song choice AND fashion choice. BTW, I recall once that in an interview in one of the past seasons that one of the finalists said that they get a budget from the show but the contestants do shop for and choose their own clothes, so you can rest easy in making fun of them for what they wear if you so choose.
6 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:31 AM
By the way T.Vo, I didn't mean to imply you were one of the ones slobbering all over Fetus. Everyone else seems to be.
You rock!
7 of 16 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:46 AM
Guess I'm the sole Lushington fan . . . she seems to be bringing subtle changes in melody that the others don't, Ramiele was thuddingly dull repeating the exact melody twice. Simon's never heard Magic Man, yet Hard songs have been on the show for seasons now . . . lame! He's so obvious in who he wants gone, F him!!!
Did we all hear about the wig!?
8 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 12:12 PM
What wig??? I heard some Bret Michaels-type wig jokes about Robbie Carrico. What gives juddfan?
9 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 12:38 PM
juddfan -- I actually liked Lushington (and okay, I had a soft spot for Butters' interpretation of the Chicago song) but I think this week's performance (while technically better than Amanda's/Kady's/etc, for sure) was really incongruous with who she is as a singer, or at least what the audience and judges were hoping for. I think we were all hoping for her to belt something big and vibrant. I did appreciate the subtlety of her interpretation more than Ramiele's song, which was slightly more memorable due to its upbeat tempo.
As for the wig, yes, I have heard the TMZ rumors that his locks are polyester and not from the Dolly Parton collection! DListed and MTV are also debating the wig's existence (they're no Drudge Report, though). Hit up Google.
10 of 16 | Posted by t.vo | Posted on February 29, 2008 2:43 PM
Thanks T.vo--I'm a huge dlisted fan, PP 4evah!!! I sometimes wonder if MK isn't on here somewhere, hiding under some psuedonym!!!! Weirdly, the wig came after the votes, so couldn't be considered in the later voting . . .
11 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 3:41 PM
I mean later results . . .
JasonR, Robbie faux rocker is rumored to be wearing a wig . . . talk about credibility!
12 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 3:43 PM
I, too, liked Lushington. She was my favorite! BOO HOO.
13 of 16 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on March 1, 2008 11:52 AM
It's nice to see some Lusington luvin on this site. I couldn't understand any of the judges comments this week. I don't think Lush has a belter's voice but rather a very clear, nuanced voice - and that was on full display in her performance, which I really loved. I don't understand how that blond chick (the one with the guitar not the other 20 blond girls on stage - seriously I can't tell them apart just yet) could be praised for a boring, copy-cat version of 'You're So Vain'. Meanwhile Lush gives a IMHO wonderfully layered and subtle interpretation and is trashed for it.
My other favourite of the night, Syesha, got pummeled for the most ridiculous of reasons. I thought she did a very good rendition of "Me and Mr(s) Jones". Randy tells her she needs to pick a song where she can belt more. Um, Randy, if every note is belted out then there is no dramatic build-up to the big notes - which this performance certainly had. Then Simon criticises her for the most ridiculous of reasons: that the song was not originally written for a woman. WTF?!
I'm a fan but what the heck was up with Ramiele? Bad choice of song. Oh, and I thought the Irish lass did an bang up job on the Heart song.
14 of 16 | Posted by bdos88 | Posted on March 1, 2008 12:40 PM
I finally figured out who Simon reminds me of.
Those cranky old people who yell at the neighborhood kids to GET THE HELL off my lawn!
I've known:
- One old guy who hid in the bushes and hosed down the kids.
- One old lady who came outside with a shotgun if she saw the kids.
and
- One guy who sits in his garage where you can't see him and shoots kids with a paint ball gun.
I gotta admit, that is a pretty cool use of a paint ball gun.
Simon...you are gonna be the best cranky old guy, ever.
15 of 16 | Posted by rhoda | Posted on March 2, 2008 3:25 AM
What? How is Kady Malloy the resident hottie? I don't think she's hot by any stretch of the imagination. I like her, though. I'm quite dismayed by this week's results show.
I too disagreed with Simon's comments about SYESha. Made no fucking sense. Since when did people only sing songs that were originally written for their gender on this show? Or, you know, in life? Remember last year when hey all had to do Bee Gee's songs and Barry Gibb was shocked by every choice the women made because they were originally written for men?
16 of 16 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on March 3, 2008 7:44 PM