She's chosen Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now." This might work if she sang it with a hint of irony. It's a safe, old-fashioned tune that can't be transported to the future no matter how modern your outfit is. There's a puffy hooded vest! And a printed graphic long-sleeved tee! And cargo shorts! And ankle boots! Nope, not enough. It really doesn't work, and is really disorienting since the song is something schmaltzy you'd sing at Showtime At The Apollo. It's as if Doris Day decided to sing a Hilary Duff tune and dedicate it to Rock Hudson. Her take on it sends me back to the frozen food aisle at Ralphs, deliberating over what flavor of Haagen-Dazs to buy.
You know who makes this song relevant? BUTTERS!
Randy says the problem is that it's so safe that he fell asleep halfway through. You should never make safe choices! Randy is the opposite of D.A.R.E. Paula does not concur. She feels that Alexandrea did let go and did her own arrangements and stretched it to make it her own. She's never heard a female take on the song. Meh. Paula lays it on thick, saying it's impressive and relevant. The woman is on crack.
Thank god for Simon. He was a big fan in the early stages but thinks that the song is stuck in its time period and there's nothing you can do with it, which is why no one's covered it. Except for Butters. He mentions that it's inconsistent with her youth, that she looks uncomfortable, and that it's pitchy. I know it's not a '70s tune, but "Do You Know The Way To San Jose" would've been a better song for Lushington.
When asked about her song choice, Alexandrea defends herself, saying she thinks the song was right for her, and "that's all that matters." Um. I see you like deluding yourself.
Seacrest mentions that 30 million people are watching, and it matters to them. She tries to look surprised, as if to make us forget she's been on national TV before. Good one. I also almost forgot that I don't have a 401k. I know the judges didn't really rake her over the coals for this performance, but I didn't consider this any better than Alaina's beauty pageant performance. I think she's going to be in trouble.
Kady Molloy, resident hottie and Britney pre-crazy impersonator, has a cultured little secret. She can sing opera, which she's been doing since age 9. We're treated to her Britney impression once more (she's really good at that dirty slut voice) and she thinks that Simon will roll his eyes once he hears she can sing opera. "You sing opera bettah than you sing up here!" she jokes. She reveals how little research she's done, as Simon Cowell is the commercial mastermind behind Il Divo, the operatic pop vocal group which went quadruple platinum in the UK.
Designed by the folks at Jelly Belly.
I spy with my little eye a black tunic dress with big-ass buttons (it must be Tori Burch on steroids), and a fabulous turquoise statement ring. And leggings from American Apparel. Ooh, and pretty hair. That's the best part of the performance. "Magic Man" by Heart isn't known for a predictable melody line that's easy to sing along with, but Kady sounds more lost than Stephen Hawking on The View. I'm sure the audience at home is trying to make excuses for her. Maybe she couldn't hear the band? Maybe she just got braces? Maybe Lucy Ricardo tied up the real Kady in the janitor's closet? We're treated to a one measure guitar riff that's better than anything that comes out of her mouth. Oy. Everything's dissonant and her voice is stuck in her throat. I have no idea what just happened. Her garbled, jumbled performance just made Carly Smithson's Heart song look fantastic. But hey, not being able to find a melody's memorable!
Randy's all, "I love Heart. And the song. But not you." He's convinced that she never found the notes she was looking for, and offers her some glasses. Paula, skirting the issue once more, says she sounded great when she powered, but she lost a bit on the low notes. Paula thinks she sings opera very well. "I think you have many hidden talents," she declares, and then mentions the song choice wasn't the right one.
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Comments (16)
The fact that you referenced Butters in relation to Lushington's song choice means you're my best friend forever and ever!
1 of 16 | Posted by Izzyboy | Posted on February 29, 2008 6:27 AM
The fact that you referenced Butters in relation to Lushington's song choice means you're my best friend forever and ever!
2 of 16 | Posted by Izzyboy | Posted on February 29, 2008 6:28 AM
I love the music of the 80's. This new AI group, however, will continue to butcher every song they attempt.
Except, I guess, for Fetus. From all the breathless ass kissing I've seen, apparently he's been designated as Jesus Christ 2.0.
That is all.
3 of 16 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on February 29, 2008 7:15 AM
I noticed the scarfs, too. Are they prtecting their vocal cords?
I can't stand Amanda and hope she goes fast!
4 of 16 | Posted by menomor3 | Posted on February 29, 2008 7:25 AM
T.Vo, I'm not even through the recap yet, but I had to give you kudos for the Bill as Towlie screencap. That was so random and hilarious. LMAO!
5 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:15 AM
OK, I finished. Recap was absolutely hilarious. Double threat with the sarcastic recapping of song choice AND fashion choice. BTW, I recall once that in an interview in one of the past seasons that one of the finalists said that they get a budget from the show but the contestants do shop for and choose their own clothes, so you can rest easy in making fun of them for what they wear if you so choose.
6 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:31 AM
By the way T.Vo, I didn't mean to imply you were one of the ones slobbering all over Fetus. Everyone else seems to be.
You rock!
7 of 16 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on February 29, 2008 8:46 AM
Guess I'm the sole Lushington fan . . . she seems to be bringing subtle changes in melody that the others don't, Ramiele was thuddingly dull repeating the exact melody twice. Simon's never heard Magic Man, yet Hard songs have been on the show for seasons now . . . lame! He's so obvious in who he wants gone, F him!!!
Did we all hear about the wig!?
8 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 12:12 PM
What wig??? I heard some Bret Michaels-type wig jokes about Robbie Carrico. What gives juddfan?
9 of 16 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on February 29, 2008 12:38 PM
juddfan -- I actually liked Lushington (and okay, I had a soft spot for Butters' interpretation of the Chicago song) but I think this week's performance (while technically better than Amanda's/Kady's/etc, for sure) was really incongruous with who she is as a singer, or at least what the audience and judges were hoping for. I think we were all hoping for her to belt something big and vibrant. I did appreciate the subtlety of her interpretation more than Ramiele's song, which was slightly more memorable due to its upbeat tempo.
As for the wig, yes, I have heard the TMZ rumors that his locks are polyester and not from the Dolly Parton collection! DListed and MTV are also debating the wig's existence (they're no Drudge Report, though). Hit up Google.
10 of 16 | Posted by t.vo | Posted on February 29, 2008 2:43 PM
Thanks T.vo--I'm a huge dlisted fan, PP 4evah!!! I sometimes wonder if MK isn't on here somewhere, hiding under some psuedonym!!!! Weirdly, the wig came after the votes, so couldn't be considered in the later voting . . .
11 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 3:41 PM
I mean later results . . .
JasonR, Robbie faux rocker is rumored to be wearing a wig . . . talk about credibility!
12 of 16 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 29, 2008 3:43 PM
I, too, liked Lushington. She was my favorite! BOO HOO.
13 of 16 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on March 1, 2008 11:52 AM
It's nice to see some Lusington luvin on this site. I couldn't understand any of the judges comments this week. I don't think Lush has a belter's voice but rather a very clear, nuanced voice - and that was on full display in her performance, which I really loved. I don't understand how that blond chick (the one with the guitar not the other 20 blond girls on stage - seriously I can't tell them apart just yet) could be praised for a boring, copy-cat version of 'You're So Vain'. Meanwhile Lush gives a IMHO wonderfully layered and subtle interpretation and is trashed for it.
My other favourite of the night, Syesha, got pummeled for the most ridiculous of reasons. I thought she did a very good rendition of "Me and Mr(s) Jones". Randy tells her she needs to pick a song where she can belt more. Um, Randy, if every note is belted out then there is no dramatic build-up to the big notes - which this performance certainly had. Then Simon criticises her for the most ridiculous of reasons: that the song was not originally written for a woman. WTF?!
I'm a fan but what the heck was up with Ramiele? Bad choice of song. Oh, and I thought the Irish lass did an bang up job on the Heart song.
14 of 16 | Posted by bdos88 | Posted on March 1, 2008 12:40 PM
I finally figured out who Simon reminds me of.
Those cranky old people who yell at the neighborhood kids to GET THE HELL off my lawn!
I've known:
- One old guy who hid in the bushes and hosed down the kids.
- One old lady who came outside with a shotgun if she saw the kids.
and
- One guy who sits in his garage where you can't see him and shoots kids with a paint ball gun.
I gotta admit, that is a pretty cool use of a paint ball gun.
Simon...you are gonna be the best cranky old guy, ever.
15 of 16 | Posted by rhoda | Posted on March 2, 2008 3:25 AM
What? How is Kady Malloy the resident hottie? I don't think she's hot by any stretch of the imagination. I like her, though. I'm quite dismayed by this week's results show.
I too disagreed with Simon's comments about SYESha. Made no fucking sense. Since when did people only sing songs that were originally written for their gender on this show? Or, you know, in life? Remember last year when hey all had to do Bee Gee's songs and Barry Gibb was shocked by every choice the women made because they were originally written for men?
16 of 16 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on March 3, 2008 7:44 PM