Tonight auditions are in Louisville, Kentucky - home of the Kentucky Derby, which is, as Ryan Seacrest tells us, the most exciting two minutes in sports. Wow, that first sentence is a whole load of new information to my brain. Only two minutes? Really? Golf could take a tip from the Kentucky Derby.
We have over 11,000 people lined up outside just positive that they will be the next American Idol. And you know what? None of them will. 11,000? Really? Are there that many people in Kentucky, or would this be the hub for the surrounding Midwest? A girl in a blue wig welcomes us to the bluegrass state. Uh, thanks, I think. And we are schooled in how to pronounce the name of the city, with the consensus being Loo-uh-vull (how elegant).
We meet our first contestant, who is strutting along like a Kentucky princess, flanked on either side by a parent in black. This is Tiffany, and she has spent way too much time bleaching her hair, which barely exists anymore. Her parents tell us that Tiffany is a sure-thing for Hollywood because she sings just beautifully to them at home. Let's see what the truth is, shall we?
Tiffany treats us to "Hero" by Mariah Carey and when the first note warbles out of her mouth Randy is already chuckling like a jerk. Okay, she's awful and can't carry a tune. They tell her to go ahead and go to college, which is her American Idol fallback plan. I'd say good luck with that as well, Tiffany. She offers to start again, but Simon puts it into horse racing terms for the Kentuckian to understand. He points out the window to the racetrack and says, "Picture 20 horses and a donkey." Ouch. Tiffany is, of course, the donkey in this scenario. She's understandably pissed and comes out proclaiming to the cameras that she's much better than many people who make it to American Idol and to "prove" it she slaughters "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson and whines her way out of the audition. That's a shame. Who's next?
Joanna is here from Philadelphia (which helps explain the 11,000 people). She's 23 and has been trying to make it in the music business for years! Who hasn't? She moved to L.A. by herself when she was 16, which couldn't have been a good plan and she says it's much harder than anyone would think. True that, Joanna, TRUE THAT. She looks like the Idol type and I'm predicting she'll make it through. Let's take a look. The New Judge (I honestly don't know her name) recognizes Joanna and says she was signed with A & M Records. Random recognition. Simon wants to know what went wrong, but Joanna just says it didn't work out. She sings "We Belong" by Pat Benitar quite well in that belting style the judges love and they all give her a fat yes. Who called it? That's right, Honey Gangsta, and don't forget it.
Now we meet Mark Mudd, who is 25 going on 60. He's a Kentucky native and tells us that he's been in two terrible car accidents and almost died five times.
Wow, a cheerful audition, how refreshing! It turns out that he is the descendant of one Dr. Mudd who treated John Wilkes Boothe following the Lincoln Assassination, went straight to jail and inspired the phrase, "Your name is Mudd." What a legacy. And it sounds like he's carrying on the family tradition quite nicely. I'm thinking he's going to suck. He sings "White Lightening" by George Jones. It's a hillbilly song and he's just okay. He didn't suck as bad as I thought he would, but the judges aren't down. They wish him luck and on his way out the door Mark tells them to be careful, which Paula immediately interprets as a death threat. I personally think it's innocuous considering Mark's shaky history, and it's probably something people tell him all the time. Relax, Paula. Pop something from your purse and calm down. No one is trying to kill you today.
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Comments (12)
Joanna Pacitti sings "Watch Me Shine" on the Legally Blonde soundtrack. It's kind of cheesy, but I really like that song. I hope that she goes far - she seems nice.
1 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on January 25, 2009 12:39 AM
Apparently Joanna Pacitti is this year's Carly Smithson in that there will be controversy regarding her background. She did sing on two soundtracks and release an album. Critics are saying that Idol should be used to find unknown talent, not talent that tried previously and failed...
On the web there's also a video clip of her from a story that 20/20 did back in the early 90s. Joanna was playing the lead role in "Annie" before the show went back to Broadway but she was fired right before that and replaced with another actress. She was a kid at the time but her interview is the cheesiest thing ever...
2 of 12 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 25, 2009 5:49 AM
there are several contestants this year who have had recording contracts, and songs included on soundtracks. Apparently AI changed the rules a few years ago to let these ringers in...but when I hear they already had a chance (or several) and blew it, I immediately start rooting against them.
I think the whole "did he just threaten us" was completely manufactured. There was no threat, just lame drama.
And I had hoped the guy who drank out of Paula's cup was going to yell, "HEY! THAT isn't water! That's VODKA!" which certainly would have explained a lot.
So far...not impressed with this season. Especially the new judge and all the fake bickering. If that's what this season will be, I'll watch something else.
3 of 12 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on January 25, 2009 6:49 AM
I still enjoy the audition episodes, but I really don't think I can watch this show once the real competition starts. For one thing, I'm not overly impressed by the "talent" that's gotten through so far this season. Also I think it's ridiculous that people like Joanna have a shot. She released an album a couple of years ago and it failed. As far as I'm concerned she's had her chance. A couple of others on this season--including the Brent Keith Smith person, if I'm not mistaken--were in the finals on Nashville Star. WTF?
I was hoping we'd immediately see some major changes to the show since they promised to mix it up, but so far it's more of the same old same old.
4 of 12 | Posted by Blanketessa | Posted on January 25, 2009 9:25 AM
Uh, regarding Ross - the Chinese Character guy - you know, some people just want to be on TV. I don't get it but they do. I'm assuming it's because they're lonely, sad, friendless, pathetic people with nothing in their lives but TV. Oy.
The "threat" from the George Jones singer didn't sound like a threat to me. If I say to someone, "I'm going to kick your ass all the way to Hell and back." That's a threat. Saying "Be careful." Not a threat.
Though I still think they should erect a bullet proof glass wall between the contestants and the judges. Half the people that show up for the auditions seem "borderline."
5 of 12 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on January 25, 2009 9:56 AM
I agree with you guys. What is someone who's already released an album doing in this competition? Nuts to that. Later, Joanna Pacitti.
Isn't the fun of this show discovering that Farmer Bob is actually an undiscovered prodigy?
6 of 12 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on January 25, 2009 10:17 AM
I liked Leneshe's sound and her song was original. I was a bit uncomfortable at her obvious use of "sex appeal". The way she sashayed into the room in her tight jeans seemed a bit inappropriate for someone her age. I kept thinking of the song "Fancy" by Reba McEntire. Her mom is setting her up to whore herself out just to make some money. Sad. I wonder if that's what her pastor had in mind when he said she'd make her mom a whole lot of money...
For some reason, Rebecca Garcia (Fox girl) reminded me of Hannah from America's Next Top Model - Alaska Girl.
7 of 12 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on January 25, 2009 2:26 PM
I totally disagree regarding people having record contracts. Just because you've been signed doesn't mean that you ever had a chance to release an album. It could be that the label changed hands and the new head cans you and send you back to the start.
It's most often not a case of a singer "blowing it" but instead it just not quite being their big break.
I think it's admirable that they keep trying instead of packing their bags and running home.
8 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on January 25, 2009 5:52 PM
A also have no problem with the more experienced singers. In fact, I wish they'd raise the age limit.
As to radically changing the formula, why would Fox want to endanger thier golden goose. (If it ain't broke... well, you know).
9 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 25, 2009 8:14 PM
i literally had joanna's cover of dashboard confessional's "screaming infidelities" on in the car on my ipod on the way home to watch the show. and thennnn...there she was. i call b.s.
10 of 12 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on January 26, 2009 8:23 AM
Yeah, they should raise the age limit. I'd kick ass over these kids.
It doesn't bother me that they bring pros on there, since everyone should have the right to sing cheesy pop songs in front of millions of people.
What does bother me is all these white people trying to sing like they're Aretha Franklin (or Mariah Carey or whatver). Like they've all been raised in some storefront gospel church. It just doesn't make sense to me.
Well, okay, my nephews (rich white suburban Jewish kids) dress like gangstas and keep grabbing their crotches all the time. Weirdness.
11 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 26, 2009 8:52 AM
I have no problem with people who got signed and it didn't work out getting another chance on Idol. I think the problem people had with Carly last season was the seeming lack of candor over her past at first, which is why they went out of their way to give Joanna's history right at the auditions. I just want people who don't make my ears bleed, and she seemed like a sweetheart besides. Good for her I say. Overall, Luuhvul was even more meh than the other cities. Why are they still insisting on not even giving us a few seconds of 80% of the golden ticket-getters? After all these years most of the suck ass delusional people are no longer funny or entertaining, but still they torture us. Funny recap Honey.
12 of 12 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:20 AM