Testimonials

Ghaleb is Venezuelan and playing his acoustic guitar out in the hall, telling us how music is his entire life and he plays gypsy music on every instrument in existence. For the judges he sings a Marc Anthony song and Simon says he'd only enjoy Ghaleb's singing if he were drunk. Paula likes him, but says his accent is too thick. Randy says yes, so Ghaleb's fate hangs on Paula Abdul making the decision of a lifetime. Spying the chance to grab some attention, Paula gets up and starts pacing around the room as if she has never been so tortured. Oh Paula, give it up, you've done this ten million times, who cares? She paces her way over to Ghaleb to hug him and tell him, "Welcome to Hollywood." Ah ha! She was "pacing" in order to find an excuse to physically contact the Latino. Of course he hugs her back but before she can order wedding invitations he prances out into the hall and kisses everyone in sight, including Seacrest who pretends not to like it.

Paula sneaks her cheap thrills.

Up next are Corliss and Brittany, who weigh about 300 pounds each and envelop Seacrest on a small sofa.

Honey, we shrunk Ryan.

They discuss what kind of guys they like and run around the halls hitting on/scaring the pants off of male auditioners, staff, bystanders, what have you. They whine to the judges about their man troubles - that they can't find any - and Corliss apparently has a thing for Randy. She serenades him with a jazz song, then Brittany does "My Guy" for Simon. They both have incredible voices, but I dare you to picture two white girls that size getting tickets to Hollywood. Congrats, Corliss and Brittany!

Suzanne Toon is aptly named - though sadly misspelled - for this competition. She brings tears to my eyes with her sob story of being a knocked up teen turned single mother needing to win the lottery to support her child. She's tired of struggling and figures that her best bet is to become a celebrity. She's also got some really funky ringlets.

"Either I win American Idol or my baby starves."

She sounds good to me, and Paula says that her voice is sultry, so okay. Simon says that when she sang she became more attractive. So, he thinks she's ugly. Well, she's in and she runs out into the hall screaming while some woman holds her sleeping three-year-old. Wake up, sweetie! All of mommy's dreams are about to come true.

For some random reason, now Seacrest does a little plug for a girl named Jasmine Trias, who came in third place on the third season of American Idol. That's fascinating and I've never heard of her and I still don't care after hearing about her.

Here comes tiny little Ramiele Malubay, who wants to be the first Asian American Idol - she's Filipino. Simon thinks she's adorable and after she belts out Aretha Franklin's "Natural Woman," I'm almost ready to buy her cd - well, at least download it illegally. Simon tells her she sounds like a hotel singer, as opposed to anything contemporary, but Paula thinks she's phenomenal, and they let her through.

"Catch my act at the Golden Nugget!"

Oooh, it's Day 2 now and for some reason Randy is sporting a shirt featuring an enormous flower and we are forced to watch Simon calling his mom. Oh please, where are the singers? Ah, let's meet Syesha Mercado. She's thrilled right now because through positive thinking, she has caused many, many, many good things to happen in her life. Well, isn't that wonderful? Her dad joins her - fresh out of rehab - to wish her luck and tell her he loves her. This is a "touching moment," you see. For her audition she also chooses an Aretha Franklin number - this one is "Think," and she nails it. Randy and Paula love her, but of course Simon thinks she had to try too hard. Whatever, she's going to Hollywood. No "celebrating," dad.

A girl named Natashia sings tonight's token "At Last." I hardly ever watch this show, but each time I have, someone sings this song. Apparently Natashia sings it right, because she's in. Next a girl named Ilsy sings the stupidest song ever written, which is "Unfaithful," by Rihanna. She doesn't want to be... a MURDERER. Ilsy's in.

Ew, now more snippets from people who suck, including a guy named Grant who has a conniption fit singing a Whitney Houston song. Simon tells him to come back in a dress.

Someone feels like a natural woman.

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Posted in American Idol by Honey Gangsta at 1:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: marishka on Feb 12, 2008 10:01 AM.