UGH! I cannot STAND that song "Falling Slowly" from Once. GOD -- last summer people kept trying to play that cd at parties I was at and I just want to vomit every time I hear it. And no, I didn't see the movie. GAG!

Okay, I loved Hambert -- that shit seriously rocked.

I skipped the Archleta-wannabe kid for reasons outlined above.

Anoop -- I love him but he was booooring.

Gokey was also v boring.

Hated Gums.

Want Lil to stay on another week and show us her real stuff. I am weary of all these boneheaded mistakes she makes (singing songs that are too old for her, copying the legendary Tina Turner last week etc)

Adam + Allison for the final two!

I don't get what the judges see in Matt. There is a business element for sure, where they will sell them as artists later and try to make a buck on them, so maybe they think he is very marketable, but his singing is just boring, his voice is just not interesting. Maybe they are latching onto a Justin Timberlake sorta thing.
I wish Lil would sing something that fits her, as she has such potential, but she ends up just being someone that I want to mute.
I am SOOO glad muzak man and irritating Megan are gone (the way she "danced" and overarticulated the lyrics in an affected way).
Anoop sings so nicely, but there is just such a deeply dorky quality to him that I can't get around.

come on now... little was off key the entire time she was doing the gospel part
i loved the idea of spicing it up with the gospel but she was really really off key
its not about song choice and mistakes... ,she really just cant stay on key no matter wat song she picks
i feel bad for her bc they really tear her down a lot but they shouldnt have picked her then if shes not that good.. how many millions auditioned?

Wow, Flipit. I'm usually on the same page with you, or pretty darn close, but I couldn't disagree more about Lil. I'm with angelbayyb. She sounded horrid! And I thought Adam sounded pretty good, despite the silly over-the-toppedness of his makeup and performance. Sometimes I wonder if the broadcast sounds different in different areas? LOL.

Great recap though. And I COVET your Tim Gunn bobblehead!

well i have to admit. i thought lil was good. so i made a ringer out of her performance. yikes!! i have never wanted my phone to just. not. ring. ever. again. that only lasted one call. thanks for reading, guys! i still hope lil gets another chance! she's still better than kris!! you know what they call this? desperation. thanks for reading! xo

I'm now obsessed with what cows sound like on a thundery day, thank you very much. Moo.

I agree with you on Cholita - and Hambert, the guy finally had me for the last few weeks, and he goes and chooses Born To Be Wild? With a doopy-doop-ploinky-ploink electronic keyboard accompaniment? That was seriously painful. I also liked the gospel parts in Lil's song, but the rest were truly awful. And Gums, same thing, he sounded very nice in parts, and horrible in others. Basically, where he tried to soul it up. I also agree with you about Anoop and his jacket. Ow ow ow (the jacket). Krispy Twink didn't sound so good, I really liked the original much better, but props for doing at least a current treacly ballad and not an '80s treacly ballad. And DMG, while I don't understand anyone wanting to play the Once soundtrack at a party, and it isn't one I'd buy, you really should see the movie. The part where they're at the music store and start collaborating on Falling Slowly is really lovely.

As for Hokey (hey, read a book, and maybe you won't get bored) please allow me to quote a couple of my fellow Europeans (they who were Hose-d) to express my feelings for him and for "Endless Love":
Euro 1: "Twat."
Euro 2: "Monkey ass in empty clamshell."

Oh, and I really love how they had a guy singing about blowjobs last show, but yesterday they talked about QT's "new action movie" without daring to mention its title, "Inglorious Basterds". 'Cause you know the Church Lady retinue would just not get references to going down, but the word bastard would give them the vapors.

What????? I just read your comment, Flipit. No way Lil Overpraised is better than Kris. Have all those years of listening to Mariah and Celine screaming made you deaf to people who can sing in a nice understated way? I'm crying now. And I don't want to cry until someone posts the inevitable "Bryan Adams sucks" comment sooner or later.

I WANT YOUR TIM GUNN BOBBLEHEAD!!!! gaaaaah, I've been looking for one for AGES!

Awesome recap, as per ush :) I haven't seen this episode yet and I'm pretty meh about the whole season in general.. i.e. don't really care who wins...

Can NOT stand Church Lady, he annoys me to know end and I want him and his shouting to leave ASAP!

AI is weird this year and I am not amused... all the tweaks they've done are really annoying (WTF not letting Simon comment on everything?!), plus Quentin Tarantino (or something)?! are you kidding me?

wow... this comment was more rage-full than I had intended...

Awesome recap, Flipit.. Please don't ever leave us :D

These people sing for all of a minute and a half (on a show about singing!), and Gums is already out of breath halfway through...

Yeah, Church Lady looked up...but did you also notice he looked down too -- just in case, you know, hedging his bets.

And what's up with Simon, who's usually the voice of reason, licking CL's asshole clean? More proof that the show's rigged.

I actually thought that the Monkeyfacedboy sang best of the night. Which isn't saying much, true. But at least he's trying to sing, and not just give some hambone performance of someone acting like a singer.

And now I'm starting to believe you're in on the action Flipit... or you were listening to a different Lil performance than I was because....ick.

She really sucks. And not just on this performance -- she's a fake. Her singing is fake, it's an imitation of what a black belt singer is supposed to sing like. But everything about her is off. Like her wig.

Listen to her with headphones, it's easier to hear how much she sucks --there's a middle section where she just loses her pretend voice because the muscles in her throat are getting tired and then you can hear what her REAL voice sounds like, and it's not pretty at all...more of a bleating really.

Her 'gospel' riffs are the Guitar Hero equivalent to true singing. And of course, she goes out of key on the last note --and then chops off the final 's' in rose...because she's an idiot who can't speak anyway.

In other words, I'm really hoping she'll win this.

Oh yeah, this show sucks--they still can't get the timing right. You must have missed the part where Lil talked back to Simon -- I'm convinced more than ever that she's mentally handicapped. I'd say mild Down's Syndrome. They ought to be pimping that.

Flipit - thanks for the Susan Boyle video. I, too, cried!

First, great recap as usual.
Second, I have that Tim Gunn bobblehead and, though I have not hugged it, I also currently have a headless Tim Gunn. You guys can (or you used to be able to) buy it at the Project Runway store on-line. The head only lasts for a few days, tho.
Third, COME ON!! Lil sucks. There I said it.
She is NOT a good singer. She never makes her notes and is pitchy the whole time. She needs to go.
I agree...Ham and Chola in the finals.
Love you!

Flipit, you had me laughing at Paula wearing Ham's belt and then straight through what was probably the worst week ever -- until Disco Week next week. And if Paula is wearing sparkly disco ball belts around her neck for Overly Cliched and Crappy Movie Theme Week, what on earth will she being wearing next week?

Allison. Her hair looked good? But she kind of sucked. What the hell, she better than most of the alternatives. Comparing her to Ham was a bit off though, Paula. Flip thanks for noting the judges got their front-runner faves and gave them some of the lamest reviews ever.

Anoop. Bryan Adams? Is he crazy? Put down the bong, Frat Boy. And burn that tie, please. Best part of this was Simon rolling his eyes at whatever Randy/Skara were saying in the far corner of the screen. Personally, if they keep the judging teams up, AI should add a Simon Cam to record his response to Randy and Skara. Hillarious.

Ham. Huh. Always wondered what Freddie Mercury would sound like singing this song. And now I know. Great performance, even if the song choice was ... weird. I like that Ham doing a crap job is still better than Gokey/Krispy/Matt/Anoop on a good day. His idea of crap is fun, slightly pornographic and very sparkly. Paula's disco ball beltlace agrees with me. :)

Gums. All I am really getting from AI tonight is that Bryan Adams is lame. There's your "Bryan Adams sucks" comment, sayhuh, although I secretly like Bryan Adams. Dude will get laid for the rest of his life on that lameness, unlike Gums and his boring Baby. Step it up, Gums/Baby.

Danny. "Endless Love." Otherwise known as how to send jennaboa into a fit of sputtering rage, obliterating happy-bunny thoughts she had been having over her tax return check. Thanks, Hokey. You ruined a perfectly good high with your self-masturbatory bullshit and dead-wife pandering. Thanks, Simon, for almost saying something not-so-positive about Hokey.

Krispy. Aw, he's cute! Who is he again? What is he singing .... zzzzzzzz.

Lil. "The Rose." Well, the song choice could have been worse. I'm just thankful it wasn't "My Heart Will Go On" b/c after two lame-ass slow songs and two Bryan Adams' songs, who needs Valium to go to sleep? And then Lil screeches and I realize I need Valium and she just needs to go home already.

michigan: Thanks for telling me where to buy the Tim Gunn bobblehead. I can't wait for his head to fall off, so I can stick it under his arm and still have it yell out "Make it work!" like the Headless Clothes-horseman of NYC. Awesomeness.

Okay, first things first: great recap as usual flip!

Silvio (the soprano dude with the scarf in the audience): that was Stevie Van Zandt and his wife Maureen (who also played his wife on the Sopranos). He's the electric guitar player in Bruce Springsteen's E Street band. Yes he is!

That out of the way, (I brace myself for a barrage of rotten fruit hurled from itchy's, jennaboa's, and flipit's computers) why do you all hate Danny so much? Every week I try to see some kind of angle that you see, and I don't think he's the ass you think he is. And he actually has a good voice. He's not my pick though. I've had Hambert picked for the end since Hollywood week. I honestly think the finale will be Hokey and Hambert.

The frustrating thing about Lil is that if she would just let somebody who actually knew something just order her to sing certain songs and take the whole "decision" thing off her hands, she could be a good artist. Just don't ever let her pick her songs.

All that friggin' money... can't they buy some damn pop screens for their microphones? Honestly! Every time someone says the letter "P" it's so loud.

I also like Danny, and don't understand all the hate heaped on him. I'm hoping for a Danny/Allison final. Yes, Hambert can sing...but he is not a pop star. He belongs on a broadway stage.

I sent a note to Flipit to this effect, but I had hoped since it was movie week, Hambert would finally break out some Judy or Liza. With this next week being disco, perhaps he'll reprise his Cher from Hollywood week.

As for Quentin, I think he could possibly be on of the top 5 ugliest men currently breathing. He is ghastly and over-rated...a lethal combination.

I don’t know why I’m watching this show anymore. Uh, I liked Adam and the 48 year old British lady. Flipster, you’re such a big SOFTEE. Crying? Jeez, man up girlfriend! (Okay, I cried too but in a very MANLY way that in no way inferred any sort of girly-ness and I gave somebody THE FINGER while I was crying so that kind of counteracts the crying.) Not a fan of Little but I do like her wigs! I think she should wear a blonde wig or a blue wig before she’s booted from the show. Uh, she should also look for a dress that makes her ass look smaller. (It will have to be a miracle dress because her ass is SO BIG!)

Timberwolf: I can only speak for myself, but I don't like him because he comes off faker than Ham's hair color and is a one-note singer. Yeller, at any rate. He has a nice voice, but it leaves me dead. I've never been a fan of people who yell at me during soft songs. I also think his songs sound the same every week. Boring. He needs to work on his appearance, too; he came off really smug to me in the results show. It could also be that I don't have any connection to him at all and much prefer Matt and Adam.

Then again, I love Queen, Mika, Within Temptation, Queensryche, Panic at the Disco, and other theatrical bands, which is why I have to say Ham is my favorite. He commits totally to whatever song he does, even if I don't like the performance, I can feel that passion. The only other singer left in this competition (to me) who can do that is Allison and something Matt.

Thanks Flippy!!! I got the spoilers on the songs and I was sooooo hella pissed that Glam was going to do that song, what was she thinking!!!! Girl can sing, but talk about yo-yo choices--ugh!!! It would be nice if she sang just one song normal without falsetto or screeching . . . just once . . . it does always make me and my friend titter when she wails on those Axl notes.

I kinda thought Little did what they asked for in "gospel-ing" or "Blige-ing" the Rose, but she is weak, and hasn't hit one since week one. I see no reason they couldn't have at least given her credit for trying, but delivery, not so much . . . she's now got the support of VFTW, imagine . . .

CL is a mixed bag for me, love the tone of his voice, but he's def getting meh at this point, and he seems smug to me too, but sadly, I'd still do him . . . argh!!! Is his dead wife gonna come after me now . . .
"You flaming homo, I'll get you!!!"

Sorry for that . . .

Humbly, I admit, Anoop was the standout on this one, and that's hard for me to say, but he sang that one like the angel Susan Boyle, who I say is the reincarnated Eleanor Rigby!!!

Jennaboa, wouldn't you know it, I just saw Mika at an accoustic show last night, he was great live, and the audience sang along quite a bit--new songs sound good too, but of course I can't remember anything about them--glug-glug!!!

I think Paula took that diamond studded monstrosity from her dog she tripped over. She was on Shecrest's show this am, and she sounds just as medicated in the morning.

I can't help but wonder about the sound system in that place, so much trouble with pitch going on in what I see as some great singers. The one thing I like about this season is how many raspy singers there are, I think Allison is the voice they've been lusting for for years.
I'd get her record, and maybe CL's if it was music I liked, even gum's I'd buy. I wouldn't necessarily go for Glam, but I'm sooooo happy to see a big girl in there representing!!!! Go Glambert!!!

Great recap. Not a good episode. If they are going to only allow two judges to comment, I'd rather see Randy, or Scara, or Paula and then always Simon. Better yet, drop Scara or put a kill switch on her mic.

I've been listening to the amazing Susan Boyle video for two days (yes, even former Marines cry). I can't imagine doing that over any of the American Idol contestants. (Simon's reaction was priceless - and, again, I can't imagine him looking at any of these kids the way he looked at Susan.)

Arg, the list is just too damn long...but not too worry, I don't hate the Church Lady in an actively seething with-I-could-reach-through-the-screen way, only in a 'this show sucks and since he's being pimped to win it, then he sucks too' way.

I don't hate Danny but I would like to see him burn in Hell.

If someone has a match I can start his head on fire.

LOL Mr. Dangerous. I love how you scold flippy -- it's very manly. That was funny!

^^^^I was referring to comment #14, btw. My comment seemed kind out out of context next to your last one, eh?

Hey, this is fun! Here's my version of "I don't hate Danny but..."

...I just never wanted to hear what Michael Bolton would sound like if his backup was Kenny G and his songs were picked by Dandelion McIntyre.

I agreed with Lil that she took a Bette Midler song and brought it into R&B territory, in a compelling way. Maybe "Not gonna Cry" from "Waiting to Exhale" would have been more the judges pick for her, but then she'd been called copycat. She has taken the Judges' constant advice to sing more like MJB and to sing less like MJB to heart and applied it here. That said she isn't my favorite and I don't think she has a chance.

See, the results show revealed the whole problem with Lil.

It's called: Jennifer Hudson.

JH is a real singer. Real talent. Even if I don't particularly like that style of music. She kicks ass (over ALL of this year's cast).

Next to her, Lil is a parrot. With bad wigs, a weirdly shaped face, terrible enunciation problems, and a whopper of a back shelf.

One more thing, seems like I'm in the minority here, but I loved little Kris' performance. Disclaimer: I love the original song to a try strange emotional degree. Still while he sang the beginning low in a place of his voice that's as rough as Glen Hansard's, he made the rest his own. Love how it starts timid, all cracky and aching, then gets stronger and more intense, and he totally throws himself into it, harmonizing with the backup singer beautifully. Loved it.

itchy,

I think you're right. She's only parroting what she's told to sound like or perform like. That Tina Turner performance last week is probably the best example of that. There's no real artist there. It's sad to see her stand there and give them what they asked for and not understand that that's her main problem.

juddfan: I'm terribly jealous that you got to see Mika. I *adore* Mika. :) You can really tell he has operatic training. Love it.

I wonder if Queen is considered disco? Too much of a stretch? I would really love to hear Ham do Queen. And Hokey to do Le Freak.

Seriously, why must they torture us with disco? Wasn't the entire point of disco to get jacked up on the drug du jour and dance it all out before hooking up w/ some guy with really horrid hair in an alleyway? If you are sitting on a couch eating ice cream, not so much the same effect, methinks. :)

itchy: Totally right about Lil v Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer is the total package. Lil has a lot of work to do.

By far some of the best picture recaps I have ever seen - you are one funny recapper! I like your twisted humor.

Hambert is one note away from busting out show tunes - that would be a show to watch...the trainwreck would be so pretty.

Disco, REALLY? This should be delightedly painful!

Torture us with disco?

Uh, disco is what it's all about, MAN. This will be the best AI week of the season. I hope Little does Evelyn Champaigne King's SHAME.

One of the reasons I'd chosen to go to school in Chicago was that they'd just had a big 'Death to Disco' rally.

"Cool," I thought, "that's the place to me."

Of course, I've since come around...not for listening to a bunch of bad singers hack it to death though.

Queen had a couple of disco-flavored numbers, so brace yourselves...

This two-judge format just sucks. Two ways to cut down on time: 1) Stop Tink from adlibbing his nonsensical tripe, and 2) Stop letting the contestants talk back to the judges. Really, it is just bad form.

Actually, there's probably a lot of crap they could cut without anyone caring. AI, just keep the basics -- singing and judging. And yes, I like Skara. She's a brilliant song writer and has an amazing voice herself. Although she can be boring at times, what she says is usually constructive and meaningful.

Ah, on to Disco! So, do you think Little will take on Donna Summers's "Last Dance"? She could come out in a glitter dress and big afro. Another missed opportunity to be herself.

God, I hope somebody sings "Boogie Oogie Oogie." LOL.

Count me as also hoping for an Adam/Allison finale!

I want to see someone take on Kiss' attempt at disco and do "I Was Made For Loving You". That would be great.

Thank you Itchy, finally someone speaks about Lil's obvious mental shortcomings! I first noticed it when she'd been given constructive criticism and Ryan asked how she felt about it, she repeated back what was said as her response to how she will go about fixing the problem. She obviously has no knowledge of music. The judges were sucked in by her Myna Bird impression. And wtf was she thinking trying to do The Rose? Idiot.

I wasn't happy with Alison singing one of my favorite love songs and didn't think she did it justice but it had more to do with her low tones not being suited to that song than Alison herself. Normally I like her just fine.

Love Adam's voice and ability to put on a show, but wasn't thrilled with this song choice. Having said that, he did a slamming job on a cheesetastic song.

Really enjoyed Kris' song but yeah, he had some iffy spots.

Anoop and Matt sounded nice, but zzzzzzzzz to both of them.