Funny ass recap, Flip. Here are my thoughts on last night, from best to worst:

1. Dave Cook - what can I say, I'm a fan and I liked what he did with the song. I still don't think a rock singer can win (Bice, Daughtry) but I can see him making it to the finals.

2. Carly - She absolutely kicked ass. Certainly she had an advantage since by her own admission she's been performing "Come Together" as part of her bar act for a long time. Best of all it was nice to see a little personality and performance out of her. She's really cute when she smiles.

3. Chikeze - Dude rocked the hell out of that song. LOVED IT. I even kind of liked his Cuba Gooding Oscar moment when his good reviews from the judges came in. If he can stay away from the cheesy R&B ballads he'll be around for a while.

4. Amanda - I have not been a fan thus far, but she did a great job. I also have to say I have never found her remote attractive before, but she looked downright adorable, and I'll dare say, hot. Whatever they did with her makeup and hair she looked about 20 years younger than usual and she was actually smiling. It also looks like she's been hitting the weight room or the yoga studio or something.

5. Brooke White - I love this girl. Just girl at piano singing works for me. She connects with her songs in a way many do not. You could see her visibly reminding herself to look up from the piano and into the camera every couple seconds, which was distracting, but this girl is definitely top 5 bound.

6. Castro - It didn't wow me, but this guy has beautiful vocals and comes across as sincere, where someone else doing the acoustic guitar ballads might not. He gave his fans what they want and expect, so he'll be fine for quite a while.

7. Michael Johns - I have found him to be medicore and overrated ever since Hollywood, but he did a nice job this week. He'll hang out comfortably in the middle of the pack and should have at least 5-6 weeks before he has anything to worry about.

8. Ramiele - Nothing spectacular, but a solid effort. I liked it more than the judges.

9. Syesha - Sweet girl, gorgeous girl, destined to be a model/actress who is a also a decent singer but she's not going to make a living off her singing alone. Flip, your critque of her was dead-on.

10. Kristy Lee Cook. First of all, she has the perfect name for an assassin or serial killer. It was just bad, really bad. Also every time she tried to do a run she fell behind the music. Really a mess, but she's hot and seems really nice so she should be ok this week.

11. David Archeuleta - Wow, the boy wonder REALLY screwed the pooch this week. It was just awful, and he knew it. Lucky for him, he'll built up a LOT of good will and should have no worries tonight.

12. David Hernandez - Flip, I can't believe you didn't make fun of his little bio piece where he talked about working at the "Pizza Bistro", when all of America was tuning out and getting uncomfortable mental images of him giving lap dances at Dick's Cabaret. His performance was completely theme park cheeseball, and poorly sung at that. He's so gone tonight.

After laughing about the judges comments about this being the most talented group yet, I have to say now that the real clunkers from the top 16 have been dispatched, it is a better top 12, top to bottom, than any other year I can remember. Even though Hernandez sucked it this week, the kid is pretty good. There really isn't anyone who has no business being there. Even Kristy Lee Cook, with the right song, is pretty decent.

Two words for Kristy Lee... Rodeo Clown!

David A. was shockingly bad. Hope this wakes him up.

I (heart) Kristy Lee in every way except her singing this week. Only David H. was worse.

David H. should be gone for a number of reasons, but mostly because there can only be ONE "David!".

Great recap! (Also yours, Jason)

I am sad that I missed Ramiele's performance. "In My Life" is my favorite Beatles song EVER, but I was busy flipping between AI and Biggest Loser. Ah, well.

I love Carly. So much. She can actually sing and she seems very humble. I'm also a fan of David Cook, but WHAT was going on with his hair last night? It was like he flat ironed it, then plastered it onto his head. On second thought, that's probably exactly what he did.

I love Michael's voice, but I always forget about him. Amanda looked awesome last night - she's only, what, 23? And she always looks like she's close to 40, but last night she actually looked her age. I think it was her hair.

I still love Little David, even though he made my ears bleed with that song. I think they'll make him sweat a little at the results show, but he won't go. Hopefully he can redeem himself next week.

Awesome recap Flip!

Did anyone else noticed that Jason Castro was the only one who had nats swarming around his head during his outdoor interview. Oh well, I still think he is gorgeous even if he hasnt washed his hair in years. I would hump him if he had bees swarming around that mop.

Ha ha, I totally noticed that donnac ... and I still love him as well :) He's just got the natural, not-forced thing about him that makes me go awwww.

I love David Cook as well. And as his performances get better, I am finding him more and more attractive.. strange ;)

I totally don't get what everyone loved about Chikezee Eze, but whatevs.

WOW.... you really did burn the midnight oil to get this recap up so fast. Cudos to you!... just don't work to hard... the stress can raise havoc with your complexion.

JasonR is right on the money again this week.... he should replace Simon.

Cheez-it and Carly were my favorites and I liked Brooke's simple piano rendition.

Great recap Flipit....funny and insightful as always....

love
chooch

Ah, so good to see an in depth evaluation, JasonR. And Donnac923, I saw that too! I thought the same thing!

So here's my countdown.

1-Chickezie--Not a big fan to date, but that rocked, he channeled Paul McCartney's rock voice on that second half, and unlike wig boy, he was rock w/out having to wear a costume or say so!

2 David Cooke--another hot one this week. One of my all time favorite songs, and I was hoping to squeeze a few if someone did it, well, that didn't happen, but by the chorus, my hat was off again! I'm expecting him to go all the way!

3 Brooke--maybe just for this week, but I like her connection to the music, and I think she's a good musician, and I like her broken voice in places.

4 Amanda--not a fan so far, but so much better for me than her other nights, and yeah, she was lookin' hot! I do love her, just not always the singing.

5 Carly-- I'm really not a fan, and I think she's over hyped and over praised, but she delivered tonight, and I don't dislike her--Kelly she is not . . .

6 Kristy Lee--ok, so maybe I'm the only person in the world who thought that was good, but I did. So much better than her other stuff, better voice, better moves, and so what if she made it country--I know there must be others who liked it too--after they dropped the anvil on her, I suspect she'll get a lot of votes.

7 MJ-he's still just okay, I don't like his stance, it's faux to me, he's good-looking, and nice enough, but the people above on this list are definitely stepping up much more!

8 Jason--I like that he knows his voice, and I found his falsetto pleasant, I'd like him to find a range he can belt a little tho.

9 Syesha--not too bad, but just ok. Pretty, pretty, pretty, but once again, serious stepping up required to continue.

10 David A-- I didn't totally hate it, but bad word forgets, and QUIT W THE TONGUE, Dude! Do you need to vaseline the gums or something . . .

11 David H -- Totally boned it, I do not think he should do gender specific songs, gay or not, I wasn't buying the she's and hers--stick to "you" Davy--and work the bod, bud, what's with the 80's untucked white shirt and the Annie Hall vest!? Hope he doesn't go, but maybe . . .

12 Ramiele--sorry, this is 2 weeks now of utter bore snore, she should have gone last week instead of Asia'h or Danny, who likey or no likey were not boring!!! She doesn't get it, and wont in time---talk about disconnect, after all those tears, this is what you sing in homage to your fallen queen friend . . . I hope she goes, coz I'm done w her, but I don't dislike her.

This year I'm all about not being bored. Glad chik stepped up, and Kristy, as they would have been my picks for first to go.

So I'd love to hear what you all think--I like that each week is changing!

And Flip, thank sso much for the lightning fast recap!!!! Ping pongs, heh heh!!!

Okay, that little dude dancing at the beginning of the recap utterly CREEPS me out!

Great one, as usual, Flipit! I look forward to them.

I felt bad for David Archuletta. You could tell before he even sang (in his interview) he3 was nervous.

And who in the hell dresses Amanda??? U-G-L-Y!

David Cook is kind of growing on me....and I still like David Hernandez, even if he works the stage like a cheap pimp.

Looking forward to the results show.

I have read this recap and everything ended cordially.

giff has been drinking from Paulas cup again.

jesus that little boy/man dancing was creepy. is it a boy, or a tiny man? that'll haunt your dreams.

flipit you are the funniest man ever, love your recaps.

was it me, or was tink acting like he had been drinking from paula's cup???

Our local paper called David Cook "skeevy," but I can't help but like him. He does have hair troubles but you have to admit, his hair has come a long way since we first saw him.

I'll also liking Michael Johns. I love the way he raises his arms up.

I was wondering if "Pizza Bistro" is code for "gay strip club."

Somewhere between Performance Bi-polarism, Mr. Bill reference and the Chuck E. Cheese (my nine-year-old calls Chikezie Chuck E. Cheese.)shooting, I think I had a tiny aneurysm from laughing. This is one of the funniest recaps I have ever read.

Well, many of us last week thought that Chikieze's days were numbered, but he totally owned the whole evening, having taken the stage and rocked out like no other this season.

It really blew my mind.

Plus, I have never before heard that brand of southern soul that he opened the song with. Far and away the best arrangement of the night.

I find myself really liking David Cook despite is weird hair and mutant looks.

Michael Johns is boring me to death - he's so wimpy! C'mon Aussie, c'mon!

I am extremely bored with one-note (Joplin) Amanda, too.

I wish Syesha would knock it out of the park. She's the whole package.

Brooke has a distinctive sound (Carly Simon, Carole King) and is also really attractive, so she will go a long way.

I am still liking Fetus, despite his misstep.

Carly needs to lift her game to win this thing.

Think about it -- the only true show-stopping, jaw-dropping performance so far has been Chikieze.

Oh, and I also saw all the gnats and flies buzzing around Milli-Vanilli love child's smelly head.

For crying out loud -- didn't the camera operator or somebody notice? Couldn't they have moved him out of the backlit sunlight and re-taped the segment?!?

How was that permitted to go to air?

DonnaMG--what do you think of Ramiele, and David H--just wondering.

I downloaded Eleanor Rigby, and it is a studio version of the song, full length, and in tune. It's quickly done, but pretty good. I imagine some of the others would be good too, but I don't know how much moola I want to give to the AI machinery . . . I am curious to hear a Brooke recording tho--anyone?

Ha-Ha -I didn't notice the gnats around Jason's head, but just because he has dreads doesn't mean his head stinks or that he doesn't wash it. You can and are supposed to wash dreads with non-residue shampoo every 3 days or at least once a week.

Oh and regarding David Archuleta. ETonline.com reports that David's dad is a bad stage dad and that he brought David to tears haranguing him about his singing at the Monday rehearsal So, I'm thinking David may have just been unable to overcome the pressure of his father. Or he could have screwed up to spite his father.

Well, I didn't particularly care for David H -- I just found him a bit too smarmy, to lounge-singer-ey and kind of off putting.

Little Ramiele is sweet and her voice is quite good, but she doesn't seem to have star quality nor anything distinctive about her.

I've said it before -- if Seacrest has any nous aka business acumen (which he clearly does), he'll produce a Sonny & Cher-style variety drag show starring Ramiele and Noriega for the SE Asian (specifically Thai) market, where they adore their "ladyboys".

Am I crazy, or did I see Danny Noriega with Ramiele's parents in the crowd wearing a shirt with Ramiele's face on it?

And why do people keep saying Syesha's vocals aren't up to par? Am I the only person who heard her sing "Chain of Fools"?
Tobacco Road was kickass, too. She's just doing horrible song choices since then that don't compliment her at all. She's one of my favies, so she'd better start doing better so she can stay on.

Oh, and THANK YOU, juddfan! Fetus licks his lips more than Mark Foley at a playground. It's really distracting. Of course, Fetus really can't do anything to please me anymore, since I long ago disowned him, but for god's sake; if you're going to spite me by staying on the show until the very end, buy some chapstick, dude. At this point, I think Fetus could just walk up to the microphone, burp, fork the bird at the cameras, and walk off and STILL get the most votes. LOL, according to dialidol.com, his majesty STILL got the most votes after fucking up his song.

Now there's a show, DMG!!! I wont be even a bit surprised if he "ish"ness ends up on some tired reality show, "Queer Eye for the Tranny Guy" perhaps!?

Your welcome, GildedLulz!!! Beyond the chapstick tho, having sung a few notes in my time, nerves make mouth dry as desert, but one lick should do, and frankly, more effect/affect/ively (go on, correct me . . . .) under the lip and along the gum, give it a try little one, and quit claiming you don't know the
Beatle's, "Imagine"!?