Results! Dim the lights, turn up the music:
- CHIKEZIE-MAH-NEEZIE: BOTTOM 3 (SHOCKER!)Obviously, Chikezie-mah-neezie didn't do so hot the night before for being too throwback, and Brooke and Carly's satisfactory efforts proved more than effective. America, you gots taste!
- BROOKE: SAFE (NOT A SHOCKER!)
- CARLY: SAFE (NO SHIT)
Commercial break. Ford, anyone?
More results! Dim the lights, bring in da funk:
- ARCHULETA: SAFE (DUH)Clearly, tonight is Seinfeld's Bizarro World where talent gets the ax and the rest prevail; everything else seems as expected as sun proceeding moon.
- DAVID COOK: SAFE (SANS GUITAR!)
- SYESHA: BOTTOM 3 (WTTTFFFF!!!!!!??)
- GRANDPA MICHAEL JOHNS: SAFE (Shoot me now.)
Back from commercial, FOX redeems itself with its new Results Show Q&A segment. I don't know about you guys, but I effing LOVE this segment. It's like those awesome Q&A pages in Bop! and TigerBeat. I didn't say that. Miley's favorite color is pink.
First question: "Chikezie, are you single?"
His response: "Yes. Very, very single."
What he's really saying: "I need to get laid."
Second question: "David Archuleta, why'd you sing that song that you sang last night?"
David's response: "I love this song. I love this song. Everything about this song is something I love about this song. I love this song."
What he's really saying: "No, seriously, I fucking love this song."
Third question: "What can I do to take Ryan's job and work for you, Simon?"
Simon's response: "You don't need a lot of talent, so there's a chance for everyone."
What he's really saying: "You REALLY don't need a lot of talent, so there's REALLY a chance for everyone."Last question: "Brooke, who would you want to collaborate with?"
Brooke's answer: "John Mayer."
What she really wanted to add: "...Then I'd like to sing with him."
After some few years of sinking into the waters of Idol obscurity, Kimberley Locke came back to sing her new single, plug her restaurant, and talk about her weight loss. The producers even threw her a video segment where we were flashbacked to the good ol' days:
LOL@BIGHAIR
Anyway, Kimberley looks BANGIN', and her voice seems to have improved, too:
Smokin'.
Once America got rid of its collective erection, the results returned to little expectation of having Kristy Lee Cook in the dreaded BOTTOM 3 for the bajillionth time.
BOTTOM 3: Chikezie-mah-neezie, Syesha, and Kristy Lee Cook
In what might be the biggest Idol upset in the past 7 days, Douchecrest passed the farewell torch to the incredibly talented Chikezie. His mother was all proud 'n stuff during his swan song, and I almost shed a tear, and it was super duper sad. Tonight, America died a little. So sad. So sad.
...KRISTY LEE COOK, YOU'RE SO TOAST, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
The face of artistic integrity. Make an album, STAT!!!
« That's Amore!: Yager-Bombed | Main | Top Chef: There Goes the Neighborhood »
Comments (10)
Kristy Lee wasn't in the bottom three this week -- Jason was.
1 of 10 | Posted by murphena | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:15 PM
I am so sad Chikezie left, I almost shed a tear too. He's gone, but boring Kristy, Ramielle, and Jason are still there WTF?
At least Chikezie kept this interesting, practically everyone else does safe performances except David Cook. America WTF?
2 of 10 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:20 PM
Love your biting tone, Hugostop!!!
This year is impossible to predict . . . who is voting for Ramiele . . . she's soooo boring . . . and how in hell did Syesha end up in bottom 2--it makes no sense!!!!
It was ridonk that Fetus, being the one person on the show able to crack the 90's goes with that song . . . okay, I just searched beloved and plugged Itunes for the 1990 top (they only had 72 of the top 100) and besides "nothing compares to you", he could have done "Love will lead you back" taylor dayne--"Close to you" Maxi Priest (my personal fave for him) "Here and Now" by Luther--and right up his PC alley "Praying for Time" by George Michael--a great song IMHO! I'm sure all those peeps would have been happy to have him breathe new life into their forgotten tunes . . . and make a little dough of potential downloads . . .
And hey, guess I'm one of those songwriting suckers--My song is soooo not going to be picked, but I love it and can't help myself . . . Fetus might like it in his "Imagine" "Another Day in Paradise" PC way . . .
3 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 28, 2008 2:11 PM
Even though murphena already pointed it out, Kristy Lee was NOT in the bottom three, nor do I think she deserved to be there in the first place. She was much better this week, and will probably be going home soon anyways...
And as far as Kimberley Locke singing her new single, "Fall" is a country song by Clay Walker. It was a new single for him last year. Perhaps she is covering it on her album though.
4 of 10 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on March 28, 2008 6:13 PM
I just can't let the Lisa Rinna comment go because . . . I am TOTALLY THERE with you!!! Please make her go away!! Great recap!
5 of 10 | Posted by kdfinjpn | Posted on March 29, 2008 12:45 AM
funny recap....i think Kristy's been in the bottom 3 so much that she's just sort of expected to be there. Unfortunately, she was smart enough to choose a song to sing about her patriotism, and I'm sure the red states went wild with their nonstop votes for her. Whatev. Please take her and her weird bug-eye-thing-when-she-sings off my TV.
6 of 10 | Posted by serjen | Posted on March 29, 2008 5:42 AM
i could not STAND chikezie.. omg.. sooo full of himself.. soo arrogant and cocky.. i couldnt stand his personality.. he was a decent singer but not nearly as amazing as he thought he was.. he always had a smart remark that made him look like even more of an ass
so i was thrilled to see him go, couldnt stand him since the minute i saw him in the top 24
not to mention that he is 22 and looks 45
7 of 10 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on March 29, 2008 10:03 AM
I really liked Chikezie - including this week's song - and thought he went home before he deserved to. His arrogance was part of that.
Talent and performance are only two of the reasons people get votes. If it were really a talent (or singing) competition, "America" wouldn't get to decide.
If AI really wanted to know who would make them the most money, they could just charge to download the songs each week - and use that tally as the basis for who is eliminated.
8 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 30, 2008 9:43 PM
Great recap! Chikeze need only look in the mirror when he wonders why he's off the show so early. He just HAD to "follow his heart" and do another generic, boring, tired R&B ballad that sounded like any of hundreds of singers could have sung it. Well instead of following his heart he should have followed Simon's advice. He was never going to come close to winning this thing, but manic-James Brown Chikeze could have stuck around another 2-3 weeks.
BTW, Lisa Rinna will never go away because by now most of her parts are non-biodegradeable.
9 of 10 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on March 31, 2008 6:55 AM
Good one JasonR! I don't care if she biodegrades or not, there's a landfill w her name on it!!!! If they stick her down by her lips she wont be going anywhere . . .
Just Jessie, thanks for reminding me about Kimberly--I'm so happy AI is using the show as a promotional vehicle for the idols, winners and not, I would love to see Kimberly do better with her career--she's very vesatile and the album with " world wonder" had a bunch of good songs. I plan on supporting her more too! Go Kimberly!
10 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 31, 2008 12:23 PM