Carly comes out to mixed reviews and doesn't think she held back at all. She also snipes that Simon's been a bit hard on her, calling Paula and Randy lovely. Simon tells her it's tough love. Dur. Carly's sent to the left with Castro.
Kristy Lee's next (gotta love the Moment of Truth soundtrack pulsing in the background). Did she blow anyone yet, because her time is almost up. She joins the other Cook to Seabreath's right.
Well, there's no way Fetus can be ushered out till last, because his side will obviously be the winning/safe side. But first, trickery! Another Idols/Ford commercial involving puppetry. It's like *NSYNC but worse.
Art imitates life, don't it?
Fetus sings "Everything I Do" at a Make-A-Wish Fundraiser in 2005
Elliott Yamin has been to Africa and is crooning "Free." He looks quite rabbinical tonight and could also use a good shave, but his mom just passed away at the end of March, so I admire him for still going out there and singing since this is the first time his mom isn't in the audience. Even though the song really, really blows. Did you know he's 90% deaf in his right ear? It's pretty impressive that even with that handicap, he's more in tune than half of the remaining contestants.
We know David Cook is safe, 'cause Yamin cribbed the Sharpie-hand message gimmick. Only his is definitely less obnoxious than Cook's.
My other hand still says "Free Tibet."
Meanwhile, Seacrest has taken over hosting a revival of The Newlywed Game with the weirdest couples ever.
Where is the weirdest place where you have ever made whoopee ?"
Syesha's next. Come join...Jason and Carly! This is obviously not the bottom three, with Brooke still left.
Seabreath gently reminds Brooke that she was dubbed a meatless hamburger by Simon, and Brooke, being the person who can never just take criticism, retorts that some vegetarians would appreciate that. Honey, vegans wouldn't have wanted your hamburger. Also, the Heartland (the majority of the voting bloc) likes their cows dead and patty-shaped. She's also on the verge of tears again. WAHHHHHHHHH.
Brooke is asked to join the Cooks. Fetus is bewildered and wants to know what the heck is going on, because gosh darn it, he has some scales to sing and some homework to do! How awesome will it be to see the auditorium erupt into a riot of bra-strap grabbing and hair-pulling if Fetus ever gets kicked off? Only in my dreams.
On Seabreath's left, we have Syesha The Horsey Hair, Carly, and Castro. Syesha is so over it.
On Seabreath's right we have Two Cooks, one Brooke.
Any other guy would be thrilled to be in this situation.
Fan Question Filler Time!
We learn that Kristy was not able to buy her horse back from the guy who bought it from her. Well, duh, now that you've made it this far in the competition, he can make bank on giving pony rides to little girls who aspire to be just like you, Kristy! She holds back some tears as she pleads for her horsey back. Whomp whomp whomp. My cholesterol and blood pressure skyrocketed after I started recapping this show, and I'm only 23. We all make some sacrifices for American Idol.
See? Half her face is still paralyzed.
Someone elderly-sounding asks the judges what's the first record they remember buying.
Randy: Uh, Led Zep, Beatles, James Brown
Paula: The Jackson 5, Earth Wind and Fire, and Carole King's "Tapestry"
Simon: He was ten, and it was Paula Abdul's "Straight Up."
Also, we learn that the song that best describes Paula's relationship with Simon is "Opposites Attract." After a teenager proceeds to say hi to every single male contestant on the show.
A few more retarded questions later, Simon's about had it. There are no words for his expression and open mockery of the question-asker. Case in point:
dk; dc*
(*Don't know, don't care, LOLLERSKATES)
Want to see Flipit interviewing Simon in 2002, back when this show was brand spankin' new? I do. Flipit + Simon = A-MAZING
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Comments (18)
this was sick and demented and i loved every moment of it, down to the burning-guy-sitting-down/duck-duck goose joke.
t.vo/obama
-hugostop (treasurer)
1 of 18 | Posted by hugostop | Posted on April 18, 2008 1:57 AM
Dear T.Vo.,
I am sorry but I don't understand what you said...
"nor do I have a TiVo"
Please explain yourself....you mean you at least have a DVR right? right? Please say it is so...the thought of anyone watching LIVE tv causes me to feel a panic attack coming on.
2 of 18 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:04 AM
No Tivo or equivalent? You watch this live? Then this is an even more impressive recap than usual!
Re: Brooke. Did you see the video about the making of that Ford commercial? (it's on the AI Fox site, I think). When she says, "We are supposed to be marionettes, which is a big word for puppets", she earned my antipathy -- before that. It's like she is the nanny and we are the 4 year olds learning a new word. Or, maybe, she just learned the word herself?
I actually loved Kristy singing directly to Simon during her singout. I wasn't a fan of hers, couldn't forgive her for the manipulative song choice a few weeks ago, but I thought that showed a strong personality with a sense of humor and irony we hadn't seen before. So now I like her.
3 of 18 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:36 AM
eelsinoc and rjfrankel:
The rumors are true -- although T.Vo is my name (it actually is, although I like to preserve a teeny bit of my mystique and not give away my first name), I do not have a TiVo or a DVR nor do I ever employ them when recapping.
I watch the show LIVE. EVERY WEEK. With full commercials and everything. I can't fast forward through anything, or beam myself to the near-distant future where I can make a clone of myself who can get the screencaps while I write up the recap. I type really fast (carpal tunnel and me = BFF), so I manage to get down my live thoughts as the show goes on, and note what scenes will make for funny photos while sitting with my laptop in front of a TV that is definitely going to stop working on February 17, 2009, when everyone goes digital. During commercials, I do hand exercises to stop the wrist pain and also jot down more thoughts.
Then, while re-watching and pausing the episode in a totally legal manner, I note the subtle stuff I missed in the live watching/recapping, get the screenshots I want, caption them, and revise it all to make some sense.
And then I go churn some butter and raise a barn or two. All in a day's work, you know?
Love!
4 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 10:04 AM
I re-watch and pause the episode in a totally legal manner on my laptop, not a TV, btw.
...and I don't actually own a TV, other than a dinky 5 inch version that my parents presented with me when I moved into my first apartment post-college in 2006, the type that's supposed to be mounted underneath your kitchen cupboards to watch while washing dishes (in 1998 or something). I balanced it on an Ikea table and sat on the floor to watch it.
So when I watched the first season of "Heroes" it was on a screen the size of two index cards next to each other. Now I rely on my roomie's TV or the boyfriend's roomie's TV. Perhaps I should start up a charity fund?
5 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 10:14 AM
Sounds like some of the proceeds from Idol Gives Back should come directly to your electronics advancement fund, T.Vo!
6 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 18, 2008 11:25 AM
You TVgasm artists should be paid - maybe with a little button we can click to acknowledge how much we enjoyed your work - so the best writers would make the most.
No way Kristy Lee will get that horse back - not for the amount the buyer paid her, anyway.
While I still think the average talent is better this season (no Sanjaya, for example), there does not seem to be any one huge talent that blows me away week after week.
The viewer questions gimmick is really lame.
7 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on April 18, 2008 12:21 PM
lame!?!? no way, it's the best gimmick ever!!! i'm totally submitting a question.
8 of 18 | Posted by hugostop | Posted on April 18, 2008 1:27 PM
Color me duelly impressed Tvo!!! Excellent and speedy recap, and how you give for your art!!! Now I needs to see some Flipit interview! Thanks for the link!
Personally, I thought Carly was obnox on the show, the beconing to the safe side, and "Simon, I think you've been a bit hard on me" as if she's all that and hasn't been scraping the bottom . . . Anyone still a fan? I'm okay with Brooke going . . . keep boning it girl, and it shall be done!
9 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 18, 2008 5:17 PM
Wait a minute, was Flip it the bartender!? And where was Simon . . . . trickery, I say . . .
10 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 18, 2008 5:32 PM
juddfan --
You don't like getting rickrolled? Check out some of the other links, they're actually not all identical. Sadly, the linking took longer than some of my screencaps, haha. You're the best!
11 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 7:26 PM
Can someone, anyone make Brooke go AWAY??? I am willing to pay.........
12 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:05 PM
Can someone, anyone make Brooke go AWAY?? I am willing to pay........
13 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:07 PM
Did ecthelion just order a hit?
14 of 18 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 19, 2008 8:13 AM
KEN LEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I love that video in so many ways.
The subtitles make it 10x better.
Anyways, I can't believe I'm saying this, I REALLY can't, but I honestly don't think Kristy deserved to go home. I totally thought she wasn't even in the bottom three. Maybe I'm just crazy [and totally biased against Brooke], but I hated her song more than usual.
15 of 18 | Posted by gildedlulz | Posted on April 19, 2008 12:46 PM
Not quite DP but ask me again next week, I may change my mind if she makes it through again, lol
16 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 19, 2008 6:56 PM
Gah I've been Rickrolled!
17 of 18 | Posted by pixiegal262 | Posted on April 20, 2008 8:40 PM
This recap was completely ruined for me by this statement:
Syesha The Horsey Hair
You know what's really old, unoriginal, and racist? Comparing black people's hair to unfavorable things, like sheep's wool, brillo pads, and yes, horse hair. Thanks T. Vo. Really thoughtless, really disappointing.
18 of 18 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on April 23, 2008 7:17 AM