The safe kids move towards a defiant Fetus. Castro also shows his solidarity by plunking down next to David Cook, but Carly's screwed because of her skirt. Seacrest gently demands that Fetus gets up, because Fetus' sit-down/protest is getting more attention than him.
Duck, duck, goose, dumbass.
Phew. This means another week of seeing Carly's husband, Tattoo Face, in the audience. Awesome. Speaking of which, here's Carly insulting the Catholic Church while hurling potatoes.
Dude, the bottom three this week was my pick for last week's elimination! Does that count for anything? No. I still wish Brooke would just get the eff off my TV, though.
Did America get this right? Paula says it's down to the point where it's tough, she's proud of all of them. Randy declines to state his opinion, and Simon accurately predicts that it's Kristy's time to go home. Paula protests, "It could be Ryan!" Right.
Seabreath has the safe kids take a seat, and Carly mock strangles the Fetus. Let your true feelings out, we know you want to kill him for ruining your second shot at stardom.
Triumphant after mounting a three week comeback, Kristy's all, "At least I made it to the top 10, y'all, and I didn't even have to swallow . So there." Syesha is quickly dismissed to the safe couch. No surprise there, your turn is coming, girly. After the nationwide vote, our favorite autistic savant is safe...damn. Brooke starts crying again (Ramiele, much?), as if she's the one being eliminated, while Kristy Lee tries to shake her off. Montage of the tomboy's journey from obscurity back into obscurity. Shut up, Ruben Studdard. I do not want to be celebrated home for the umpteenth time. Getting kicked off AI is nothing like coming home from Iraq. Kristy's swansong is dedicated obviously to Simon, as she perches on the judges table and practically slithers into his lap. Ew. Someone's going on MILF Island in a few years.
Goodbye, Kristy Lee! I hope you find your pawn shop receipt for that pony!
P.S. I Ken Lee , if living is without you guys!
xo, T.Vo
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Comments (18)
this was sick and demented and i loved every moment of it, down to the burning-guy-sitting-down/duck-duck goose joke.
t.vo/obama
-hugostop (treasurer)
1 of 18 | Posted by hugostop | Posted on April 18, 2008 1:57 AM
Dear T.Vo.,
I am sorry but I don't understand what you said...
"nor do I have a TiVo"
Please explain yourself....you mean you at least have a DVR right? right? Please say it is so...the thought of anyone watching LIVE tv causes me to feel a panic attack coming on.
2 of 18 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:04 AM
No Tivo or equivalent? You watch this live? Then this is an even more impressive recap than usual!
Re: Brooke. Did you see the video about the making of that Ford commercial? (it's on the AI Fox site, I think). When she says, "We are supposed to be marionettes, which is a big word for puppets", she earned my antipathy -- before that. It's like she is the nanny and we are the 4 year olds learning a new word. Or, maybe, she just learned the word herself?
I actually loved Kristy singing directly to Simon during her singout. I wasn't a fan of hers, couldn't forgive her for the manipulative song choice a few weeks ago, but I thought that showed a strong personality with a sense of humor and irony we hadn't seen before. So now I like her.
3 of 18 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:36 AM
eelsinoc and rjfrankel:
The rumors are true -- although T.Vo is my name (it actually is, although I like to preserve a teeny bit of my mystique and not give away my first name), I do not have a TiVo or a DVR nor do I ever employ them when recapping.
I watch the show LIVE. EVERY WEEK. With full commercials and everything. I can't fast forward through anything, or beam myself to the near-distant future where I can make a clone of myself who can get the screencaps while I write up the recap. I type really fast (carpal tunnel and me = BFF), so I manage to get down my live thoughts as the show goes on, and note what scenes will make for funny photos while sitting with my laptop in front of a TV that is definitely going to stop working on February 17, 2009, when everyone goes digital. During commercials, I do hand exercises to stop the wrist pain and also jot down more thoughts.
Then, while re-watching and pausing the episode in a totally legal manner, I note the subtle stuff I missed in the live watching/recapping, get the screenshots I want, caption them, and revise it all to make some sense.
And then I go churn some butter and raise a barn or two. All in a day's work, you know?
Love!
4 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 10:04 AM
I re-watch and pause the episode in a totally legal manner on my laptop, not a TV, btw.
...and I don't actually own a TV, other than a dinky 5 inch version that my parents presented with me when I moved into my first apartment post-college in 2006, the type that's supposed to be mounted underneath your kitchen cupboards to watch while washing dishes (in 1998 or something). I balanced it on an Ikea table and sat on the floor to watch it.
So when I watched the first season of "Heroes" it was on a screen the size of two index cards next to each other. Now I rely on my roomie's TV or the boyfriend's roomie's TV. Perhaps I should start up a charity fund?
5 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 10:14 AM
Sounds like some of the proceeds from Idol Gives Back should come directly to your electronics advancement fund, T.Vo!
6 of 18 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 18, 2008 11:25 AM
You TVgasm artists should be paid - maybe with a little button we can click to acknowledge how much we enjoyed your work - so the best writers would make the most.
No way Kristy Lee will get that horse back - not for the amount the buyer paid her, anyway.
While I still think the average talent is better this season (no Sanjaya, for example), there does not seem to be any one huge talent that blows me away week after week.
The viewer questions gimmick is really lame.
7 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on April 18, 2008 12:21 PM
lame!?!? no way, it's the best gimmick ever!!! i'm totally submitting a question.
8 of 18 | Posted by hugostop | Posted on April 18, 2008 1:27 PM
Color me duelly impressed Tvo!!! Excellent and speedy recap, and how you give for your art!!! Now I needs to see some Flipit interview! Thanks for the link!
Personally, I thought Carly was obnox on the show, the beconing to the safe side, and "Simon, I think you've been a bit hard on me" as if she's all that and hasn't been scraping the bottom . . . Anyone still a fan? I'm okay with Brooke going . . . keep boning it girl, and it shall be done!
9 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 18, 2008 5:17 PM
Wait a minute, was Flip it the bartender!? And where was Simon . . . . trickery, I say . . .
10 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 18, 2008 5:32 PM
juddfan --
You don't like getting rickrolled? Check out some of the other links, they're actually not all identical. Sadly, the linking took longer than some of my screencaps, haha. You're the best!
11 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on April 18, 2008 7:26 PM
Can someone, anyone make Brooke go AWAY??? I am willing to pay.........
12 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:05 PM
Can someone, anyone make Brooke go AWAY?? I am willing to pay........
13 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 18, 2008 8:07 PM
Did ecthelion just order a hit?
14 of 18 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 19, 2008 8:13 AM
KEN LEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I love that video in so many ways.
The subtitles make it 10x better.
Anyways, I can't believe I'm saying this, I REALLY can't, but I honestly don't think Kristy deserved to go home. I totally thought she wasn't even in the bottom three. Maybe I'm just crazy [and totally biased against Brooke], but I hated her song more than usual.
15 of 18 | Posted by gildedlulz | Posted on April 19, 2008 12:46 PM
Not quite DP but ask me again next week, I may change my mind if she makes it through again, lol
16 of 18 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 19, 2008 6:56 PM
Gah I've been Rickrolled!
17 of 18 | Posted by pixiegal262 | Posted on April 20, 2008 8:40 PM
This recap was completely ruined for me by this statement:
Syesha The Horsey Hair
You know what's really old, unoriginal, and racist? Comparing black people's hair to unfavorable things, like sheep's wool, brillo pads, and yes, horse hair. Thanks T. Vo. Really thoughtless, really disappointing.
18 of 18 | Posted by Rock Star | Posted on April 23, 2008 7:17 AM