Really liked "deformed girl", sort of liked the sisters (but in a lecherous way). Didn't want to like the junior bank robber, but had to admit his voice was okay. Don't expect any of them in the top ten.

Have adored Kristin C. since Pushing Daisies (her character was less adorable on Glee, but she'd have todo something gross and horrible, like raising fighting kittens, for me to lose my respect.

pt 2. Haved adored Kristin C. since Daisies. She'd horrid, like raising fighting kittens, to change my mind.

Cara hasn't bugged me as much this season... so far. .. partly because I still remember how great she sounded (and looked) when she performed at the end of last season. Paula who?

... and isn't Ellen Degenerate supposed to be judging?

Kristin is most definitely talented, and cute. Great guest judging choice.

Kara, well, I just can't get on that train. I loved Paula's crazy.

Ellen signed on after these auditions were filmed, so she won't be showing up until Hollywood week.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!

B--Best recap
I--I have ever had
T--The pleasure to
C--Completely LMFAO at
H--Hell, I can't think of something for the letter "H".

Or did I?

Lissa-

Shut your whore mouth. You are too sweet. You're going to make me cry. Well, not really, because I've got enough xanax in my system to kill a horse, but you know what I'm saying:) and for the record, that was the
Best. Comment. Ever.

Love you girl!

xoxo HH

All right. I HATE melisma and all of these cheap-ass singers who overuse it to hide the fact that they don't know shit about phrasing, timing pronunciation and actually using their voices to sing. And this is not just because I come from Jersey and that fat guy destroyed a Sinatra song. It comes from the heart.

Couple that with the guy's bullshit sob story -- yeah, right, autistic my ass. The reason there's been a 2000 percent increase in autism is because: a) they broadened the definition to mean pretty much anything and b) they did this because the drug companies are pushing yet another bullshit molecule that produces more side effects than benefits.

Ugh. No way he's going to make it through anyway, unless he magically slimmed down before Hollywood (he could spend some of his food budget on getting his kid a proper diagnosis -- spoiledbratitis - instead.

Also: I like Kara. I like her snaggle-tooth, I like that she's generous in the cleavage displays but not in the cleavage itself, and I like the way she always seems to be on the verge of launching a giant wad of spit (kind of like some of the gals in the raunchier porn vids they're making nowadays. Not that I like to watch those. I just watch 'em for research purposes). And anyway, I far prefer Kara to that giant Barney doll next to her and the other guy, what's his name, who making all the millions off this shitfest show.

Oh yeah, and I definitely agree, the guy goes to jail for holding up a bank? I'm supposed to sob for him? Fuck that. Sounds like a spoiled rich kid who landed on his feet. Betcha he still drives a Hummer too.

If they keep the deformed girl, they're going to have the same problem they did last year: how do they choreograph around that? And no way Ford's going to let that into their commercials.

Of course, Coke will let anyone suck them down, so no problems there. Whores.

Theo was too gay and freakish for my taste. I think those were cooties around his eye not sequins.

Love your email address for hate mail. Expect something from me.

I want to be Matt Lawrence's halfway house to love next time he's out on parole. He's a cutie even with that big cold sore.

HH....GREAT recap! I laughed the entire time I was reading. I can't believe Kara was such a bitch to the girl with the nerve problem. Her response "you were better than I thought you would be"...what a BITCH!!!

Will be glad when Hollywood week gets here and the real show starts.

I still hate Kara.

Fantastic recap HappyHousewife! however, I do feel the need to bring up the fact that you failed to mention the best part of the episode. After crazy guy was removed in handcuffs, Simon looked at the other judges and deadpanned "so is that a yes or no?" I almost rolled off the couch laughing, who knew he had a sense of humor! Anyways I loved KC as a guest judge. I just thinks she was superb in Wicked(defying gravity ya'll) and I loooved her appearance in Glee.

Happy Housewife, here's to you and white russians! This has been fun having so many guest writers for this (waste of) time before hollywood week. I still wish they would expand hollywood week and let us vote sooner for the top group . . . but no, then we would really have a choice.

Also, because last years winner was not featured at all in the auditions, they showed it after the fact at some point, and he and Glambert both declared they would be the next american idol.

Frankly, I don't think the industry can fit one more of these fuckers! And Blake Lewis doesn't suck, he's actually one of the better ones, IMHO, but he can't sell a record to save his life, and yeah, got kinda douchey in a JT way . . . .

I did like beat boxer, I liked deformed girl--like Eddie Money, but a chick, really liked the second shot guy and the last guy was pretty good, and hot like the pisano but both have strong voices I can't see going pop-or country in Matt's case. Kind of ridonk he did 4 years over a bb gun . . . is it me . . . granted, it's harsh for a 15 year old, but not sure 4 years of prison conditioning will help him launch much better. Anyhoo, chicks love the bad boys--in country too, he's just got street cred, but I was surprised how Simon liked him so . . .

Only disagree on two things, HH--Gaycrest is gay . . . he just is, there can be no other explanation I will buy, and I also think Simon is, could be more wishful in his case, but I don't think I've seen either with a chick who I believed was getting any . . . Teri Hatcher anyone . . . even she said, during the one kiss with Gaycrest, Paparatzi came out of nowhere--not suspicious at all . . . and hmmm, if I'm not mistaken, she was the one and only female he was on a date with . . . nath, he and Simon have traveled together (in that crazy nutty on again off again love hate thing they've got going . . . )

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Itchy-Spoiledbratitis...I fucking love that!! Greatest line ever.

Mr. Dangerous-I'll be waiting, love:)

Marijai--I want to start a I hate Kara Facebook page. I just might. Thanks for the awesome comment! Flattery will get you everywhere:)

Kittkatt--you are so totally right, and I apologize for that. I was finishing up this bad boy at 330 am and totally thought I wrote something about it. My bad. You can spank me later.

Juddfan-good to know about last year's declarations. Like I said, I don't usually subject myself to this nonsense, so an AI expert I am not.

I actually do like Blake Lewis, I just don't think he's superstar material. I saw him at the McMenamins in Mill Creek, WA (I live close to there in the BURBS), he's from there as well, and he was meh. Great personality offstage though.
It was probably the bank robbery more than the BB gun that got him four years. If he wouldn't have been a minor, he would have done even more. Idiot.

I think there's something in Simon's closet, but I don't necessarily think it's homosexuality...he dates really gorgeous women, then pays them off at the end of the relationship...so yeah, either they are well compensated beards, or he likes to cross dress or get choked or something juicy:)

I would bet my firstborn that Gaycrest is straight though. I've dated enough gay guys to know the difference, trust:)

Oh Happy!!! Interesting to hear about Blake--my friends got a remix of one of his recent songs and it kicks a major wallup, I think if you know his material, it might come across a bit more at a show--true for anyone, I think.

I think it's hysterical that you agree more about Simon, hee, hee. I know you're not an AI expert, but as Mr. D can attest, we are both majorly into the Matt BB types, and a few seasons back, they had the first one of those, Matt Rogers, who has gone on to some TV hosting success . . . while he was on, I was convinced Gaycrest was crushing on him, they played footsie a couple times, and Matt was always man handling his thighs and things (natch I was I looking because I liked Matt)

And to further disgrace myself and my obssessiveness, at the finale one year, they showed Gaycrest in Simon's dressing room when Matt came on from hosting one of the home towns, and I swear there was this huge Elephant in the room between he and Simon . . he also kept trying to close up Simon's shirt, as if he couldn't bear the temptation--it just seemed like Ex intimacy, if you know what I mean . . .

Anyhoo, I also really don't care, I used to hate ol' gaycrest out, but I've gotten immune to him . . . . gay, metro, a sexual or whatever!

I was catching up on my recaps tonight so I'm a little late to the party on this one, but I wanted to say I like your style, Happy Housewife. I was giggling through the whole recap and am now craving a White Russian.

Even though she's cute and seems sweet, I think the reason I find Kristin Chenowith offputting is no matter what she's still a musical theater geek and they throw their own kind of crazy energy into the air.

*is a proud musical theater geek, tyvm*