flipit, I LOL'd my socks off through this whole recap. The pregnant man observation was brilliant, as was this: "If he wants his audience to relate to him, he should sing songs about the tax codes or some shit." hahahaha!!! There were a dozen more gems, but if I copied them all, this comment would be 7 pages long.

C u tomorrow for Lost chat!!

Not only was last nights AI hard to hear because of all the bad choices for songs but also hard to watch!! Someone fire the hairdressers and fashion stylists ASAP!!!

AWESOME recap flip. You are seriously the best, and I love how quick you are.

I'm disappointed with Scott's new look b/c I miss your descriptions of his hair. Oh well, at least we still have his facial expressions!

Megan NEEDS to go home. Itchy, not even you can defend her this week, lol. and while the boobs may have looked good, she is not rocking anything nice from behind.

I haven't finished the recap yet (takes a long time when you have to stop and laugh every few seconds), but I do want to thank you for the photo of Megan singing so fantastically well. I especially appreciate that you cut off her tat arm, so I can focus on her awesome singing.

Hooray for Boobies!

KRIS WAS AWESOME!!!! (Even if he does resemble the pregnant man.... BOOOO!!!) His singing is so smooth and effortless, despite the occasional bumm note. He makes me all tingly when he sings. Kris, if you ever wanna try gay, call me!

Why does Hambert feel the need to shriek like a banshee. Someone should tell him that he sounds like he's being anally raped.

Danny = Taylor Hicks... WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!

I think by 'my fans' Megan was giving a shout out to the VFTW crowd. At least she's not fooled about where her votes are coming from.

I admit I'm enjoying the fact that Megan's just tanking it worse and worse from week to week. In fact, I'm enjoying that part of her performances even more than the way she looks.

And yeah, purplex, you're right...those jeans were doing her no favors. Maybe Lil' can lend her a little padding?

I listened to the show through headphones (and I was working so not really paying attention). And I swear, when Gokey came on I thought he was spitting directly in my ear. By the end of the song, I was afraid he was going to drown in his own phlegm.

Ugh. These people all suck. I mean, I realize that if you compare them to each other, some of them seem to sing okay, because the others suck so much more. Which is why they put Church Lady after Anoop and Megan, of course. But take 'em out into the real world and they all just...suck.

It's crazy. How many people did they audition in order to come up with this bunch of truly lousy singers?

But then, I only watch this show for your recaps, Flipit...and I think you hit a high note this time out.

Man boobies! Girl boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!

Oh GAWD!!! I'm so thankful for your speediness, Mr. Flip, and pandering to the booby crowd. I'm okay with Church Lady's moobs, and I still like the tone of his shouting, but PYT thing was the high he hasn't hit again.

Lil is making me nuts, Girl, what's happening with you . . . for her for me, I ain't feelin' it . . . Mary J is the bomb, and if she can sound alike, why are we getting this . . . bad songs, bad pitch, shouty and strainy, TG for the adorable kid. Her look week one, also the bomb, so what happened here . . . what's with the prom dresses and bad wigs . . . C'mon girl, they want you in the top, can you help them along . . . and of any song to pick, that dreck! Ugh!!!!

I heard Ham had to change his song on Mon, so all is forgiven . . . wish it had been approved, coz that is a never no don't song!!!

Felt bad for Matt, nerves again, and perhaps he's not a stah here, but I hope to hear more, and it'll be discusting if he goes before Caw Caw!

And Miss Caw, well, I hate that she keeps mentioning her fans feeling it, esp if she's shouting out to VFTW--how does she know what they're feeling, coz of Itchy, we know what they'd like to feel, but seriously, girl ain't even trying, bad choice, no stage prowess and even worse singing, ZZZZZZZ . . .

I also found Anoop to be annoying, and Scott to be the best he's done, but still Snooze, and he can still be a dandelion, just in a strong wind . . .

Loved the first half of Allison's and hope to hear more songs that stay in that vein--she could win, if you ask me . . .

xoxoxo

Brilliant job recapping a truly horrendous episode of AI. Ugh. My ears still hurt from all the screaming last night.

I just don't get it. There are loads of really awesome songs on i-Tunes I'm sure they could the rights to sing, so why did the "idols" pick some of the lamest songs out there?

For reals, people. I would much rather have heard Adam sing "I Kissed a Girl" (No. 4 last year) and Church Lady sing "Don't Stop Believing" (1st i-Tune to reach 2 million downloads). Wouldn't that have been fun? And Kris could have sung "Unforgettable" -- b/c he isn't. And Gums

Anoop's vocals were nice. He's a great singer, but Flipit is so right, Anoop just isn't that sexy. Usher is sexy. And ne'er the two shall meet.

Megan. Bob Marley? WTF?, part one. Sorry itchy. Can't do it. That was incredibly painful. Meganjaya, please go away.

Church Lady, I am so done with this joker. He sang well enough, but his smarmy, smirky face and irritating "When people feel" crap really chapped my hide. That's right, people, I'm pulling out my Texan, and I am chapped down to my hide. And people, that hurts. Just like my ears when Danny yells at me through the screen. This song started low, for what? Two seconds?, and then he was off and belting it out. And I almost liked him for a moment there, whew! Then he had to go and impart his great knowledge to us and tell us how we feel. Wanker. I felt annoyance and pain. And then I had to go listen to the original of the song a zillion times to wash that turd blossom out of my ears.

Allison. Aw. "Don't Speak." And don't sing, either. Yell! Yell! Yell! I liked her, if only because I used to dress like Angela Chase, too, and I would sing this song at the top of my lungs jumping up and down on my pink bedspread. Granted, I never went out in public like that, much less sing in front of millions.

Dandelion did Billy Joel. With his piano. Wow, way to breakout of that piano man mold, playing a song by The Piano Man. Too bad you didn't do "The Piano Man." *This* was like watching paint dry. No, it's not. It was more painfully boring than that, b/c sometimes a fly will get stuck in your paint right? And you have to get it out without ruining the drying paint's finish? And that can be challenging. The only thing challenging about Scott is staying awake.

Flipit, Gums must be reading your recaps! Notice, he surrounded himself with underage girls covered in acne. So smart! He was probably too scared of the morality police to grab himself in front of so many tweens. And the sheer amount of zits in that crowd? Totally full of ProActiv commercial extras to distract from his Unicorn. Win! even if the song was Fail.

Lil. Yeah, judges, I would have loved to have heard "One" Mary J-style. Great idea! One of my favorite tracks. But, because she lacks the ability to pick a song she can actually sing, she goes w/ Celine. WTF? No. Just no. I surrender, stop singing. Why does someone always have to sing Celine? Becaue Celine should be the only person aloud to sing her songs. Not b/c they are great -- I am *not* a fan -- but she can really hit those notes. Who the hell else can? Maybe Ham in this crowd, but not Lil. (Oh, I would love to have heard Ham sing "My Heart Will Go On" falsetto; I would have ripped off my ears by the end, but it would have been worth it. Boyo is the closest thing we have to a castrato in this day and age.)

Ham knows how to work it, doesn't he? And he had a lot of fun. I would be having fun too if cute blond boy in the audience was going to be waiting in dressing room after the show? Grrooowwlll! At least his going over the top was better than CL's version from Country Week.

Damn, I nearly forgot Kris again. And he did so well! By not yelling and giving my ears a rest, he wins my "yay!" vote. Yay! Kris for being completely forgettable but cute as a button!

Sorry about the book, but I haven't quite gotten over the assault these tossers mounted on my tender little ears. Besh, send Megan or Dandelion home, please.

Awesome recap Flipster! This: "Church Lady tells Tink that he's singing "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. That's a chill, sweet song. I had never wondered what it sounds like shouted, but now I'm totally curious."

And this: "Simon thinks it was his best performance by a "country mile", which is like a city mile only scarier and filled with more cow poo."

...were just two of the things that made me laugh my arse off over here. The whole recap was hilarious.

As for me:

Kris -- I LOVED him last night. And he even looked less Magilla Gorilla than he usually does. Great performance.

Allison -- I really like her but ugh, the clothes and hair are a joke.

Little -- over it. The look, the sound, the trotting out the kids for sympathy votes (yeah, I know Tink did that, but it still peeves me). There is definitely an enemy in the camp for her re: song choice and her look. Watch out, Little.

Church Lady -- Shouty McShouterton needs to dial it back. I think he might have a nice voice in there somewhere if he'd just STOP YELLING!!!1one

Adam lambANT-- He bugged me at first, but the last few weeks he's grown on me for some reason, although he too needs to reign in the shouting.

Gums Mcgraw -- sucked last night but I hope he doesn't get sent home because of it. I love his voice and I don't know WTH that was last night.

Tat Lady -- Give. Me. A. Break. Here, I'll say it like Kara, who loves to ask and answer her own questions as she "judges": Are you pretty? Sure. But can you sing? Um no. That was truly frightening.

I know I skipped Dandelion and Anoop and probably someone else, but that's because they really don't stick out in my mind.

Okay, novel over. Thanks again for the great recap Flip!

I love you Flipit! This was the best. I laughed all the way through! I love it when I laugh so hard I get tears in my eyes! Awesome job!

Mmmm. Shoulder pads and purse straps. Anyone have a boner yet?

GENIUS!

[sniff]

oooh, I haven't watched the results show yet, but I'm thinking I know what itchy is sniffing about....fingers crossed!

is it just me, or does anyone else think Kris resembles a younger Freddy Rodriguez??

if i had drink in my mouth when i read the "butt hair" comment i would have spit it out. i dunno why that was just so funny to me.

when i heard matt was doing the fray i was like "yay" because i love the fray and i love matt... but matt doing the fray, uhhh not so much. kris was def my fav of the night. he grows on me more and more each week.

Now that all the beefcake is gone I'm starting to lose interest in this show. The only thing that could raise my interest is if the remaining male contestants performed naked. Not necessarily because I want to see them naked but I might look "down there" just to see what they got "going on." I could look at Anoop and say, "Boy, that's REALLY dark." Kris: "That's teeny-tiny, isn't it?" Gums: "Oh, you have "those" all over your body. How unfortunate."
Danny: "Isn't that what Flipit calls a Jay Jay?"

Somebody wake me when they get to the final 3. They really need to find more interesting contestants.

Loved Adam, waiting for him to do a Queen, Arosmith or even a George Michael song.

Thought the judges were too har on Allision because she has not looked good since the show started and I blame their review for where she fell in the voting.

Way past being tired of the Danny underserved praise. He still is flat when he sings in his lower register and had several off notes in his song.

Ryan when too for but I had to laught because Lil's younger daughter did have a look on her face that showed if any of them would like to hit Randy it she was the one. She did have that same mean look on her face that Lil has sometimes.

Hell, I'd like to hit Randy too. Dawg.

The singing was horrible, the recap was great. Mostly all i can remember of the show is the hair.Blind Guy had Randy Travis hair. Allison was wearing Adam's wig. Why does Little keep wearing those wigs that make her look old, her own hair looks way better. This show is getting boring.
My favorite was the audience person who yelled out BROKEN RECORD .

Hilarious recap. I actually fell asleep during the show (or did I go into a coma while Megan was "singing"?)and missed most of the performances... but, so what? Doesn't sound as if I missed much.

Just read the recap and ALL the comments. I made a promise to myself not to comment on the results show until FlipIt posts, but it's killing me. Be strong! Okay.

Flipit, that chick in the audience holding the Gokey sign? my wife and I rewound that shot over and over for the pure comedy that is that woman's face. When you wrote "a maaaaayuuun" I almost had an asthma attack. She looked like Big Ethel from Archie and you just know the hot chicks sitting with her are the decoys.

Scotty Mac: I don't get it. I give mad props to anyone who can play a piano without ever looking down, but am I missing something or is this guy really not that good?

I laughed hard through most of this recap. Thanks again Flip!

that anonymous comment above was me. Duh.

Mr Dangerous: Contestants performing naked could be fun. It would neatly answer the "Is Adam Liza/k.d. lang" question.

On the other hand, I do not want to see Danny naked under any circumstances. It would be like seeing Barbara Bush naked. Which is just wrong, right?

Babara wears pearls and ugly house-dresses that cost more than my rent with her steel helmet of hair; Danny wears many sorts of glasses and trendy clothes about a size too small with his super-smug expressions. Clothes should never be parted from either equation as they are vital to maintaining sanity. :)

Besides having the best recappers ever (seriously, is anyone out there remotely comparable to Flipit? Samantha's "a mayuuuuhn" LMAO), TVGasm also has the funniest posters. Yeah, I feel like you're all my boos or my peeps or whatever the young 'uns are saying out there nowadays. Even Itchy had me going today with the photo of Megan singing fantastically well (you dirty old man you, I bet you've been having some extra hot fantasizing after Kenley hit her boyfriend with a cat). And Juddfan, you're the best! A dandelion in a strong wind had me laughing my butt off (I wish, it's still there.)

Is it just me, or does Church Lady seem like Michael Bolton at church when he's doing ballads and like Michael Bolton auditioning for The Wiggles when he's doing uptempo numbers? And no, I don't like Michael Bolton.

I don't get the Lil thing at all. She sounds awful to me. Then again, I don't get the Celine thing at all, either. Another shouter who can't even fake an emotion. Plus, I saw her doing air guitar once and I still feel sullied.

Hambert entertains the shit out of me on TV, but I don't think I'd want to listen to him on the radio.

Poor poor Matt. He sounds wonderful when he's singing what the judges force him to sing (R&B), but what HE really wants to sing is Coldplay and The Fray. I weep for him and for our ears if he insists on taking that course.

The only one of this jokers I would listen to anytime is Krispy Twink (yay for people who don't need to spray the audience with vocal nodules, and Mr. Dangerous, don't destroy my fantasies! he's HUGE, HUGE, I tell you!), and probably Allison.

Thanks for the shout out, Sayhuh, I too am waiting for the "Caw Caw" recap . . . I can't stop saying that . . . I find it ironic that I even called her that before the results show, may she name her first record that . . . a new catch phrase for the generations . .

I would be okay with a naked church lady, I admit it, and I know hot coals should be shoved in my eyes, among other places, but I can't help but sorta dig the smug fuck with the doughy bod, imperfect teeth and religious zeal . . . what is happening to me!!!!!!! I think I need a maaayyyaannn desperately, could that be the cure, or a labotomy, whichever is cheaper . . .

See ya on the results recap!!!

The "catching change" picture of Scott made me lol...I saved that picture, edited it to add the quote in there, and set it as my background. Thanks for the laughs. Can't wait to see your recap of the results show...i think it was my favorite results show in forever.