Think about the classic TV shows throughout the ages. Seinfeld. Friends. The Simpsons. Now remember your favorite episodes. Without hesitation, you're able to answer "the clip show." Tonight, American Idol capitalizes on that love of things that have already happened and may not have been important enough to show previously to give you their most phoned-in show ever!
Also, I'm used to Flashforward, so I apologize if every minor detail is pulled apart in a search for hidden answers. And I cut my teeth on the timesuck monster that is America's Got Talent, so I'm also not used to an audition show that people actually care about. But forget about all that, it's Idol time!
So after that standard weird opening that I've always detested, in which random CGI-people prepare to sing with all the excitement of someone about to take their turn at Kylez Karaoke Bar and Buffet, Ryan starts us off by seeing how many hyperboles he can cram into a single sentence. THE LONGEST OF JOURNEYS. THE MOST FAMOUS ARENA IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION. THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE WE'VE EVER SEEN. I guess like everyone else, good old Seacrest probably suspects this is AI's last season and has to use it or lose it with the melodrama.
"But what does everyone remember?" ominously intones Ryan. I hope you've been taking notes America, because it's quiz time.
Ah, yes, Mr. Pants on the Ground. Really, Idol? We're two minutes in and you've already had to resort to this guy to prove the auditions were memorable? Idol has decided tonight is a perfect time to show us a montage of people with too much time on their hands performing their own versions of "Pants on the Ground." And when a BLOGGER is accusing you of having no life, you're really in trouble.
So this is a nice segue into a montage about picking the right audition song. What is this, 2002? After nine seasons, I'd like to think we've moved past this Day One stuff, AI. But, in a reflection of hopeful singer stupidity (or a testament to the unflappable American spirit), apparently it's still a problem here in 2010.
We're reminded of some chick who brought her lips into audition last year and sung a Joplin song to no avail, and then returned this year to sing a Simon Cowell original. A very clever move to show both research skills and general kiss-assery. The punch line is that Jessica sounds pretty damn good, but Posh Spice wants to hear more about Cowell's song-writing career. After anything entertaining that the guest judge could possibly say is steamrolled as usual, Jessica is given her ticket and becomes Lesson #1 for anyone out there ambitious/fame-whorish enough to try out on The X Factor next year.
Ryan reminds us AGAIN that they've saved the best for last. Because nothing says "best" like a show made up entirely of warmed-up leftovers deemed too boring to previously include.
Now we're going to talk about standing out from the crowd, because you have to remember that Kelly and Carrie only got where they are today because of their wacky outfits and shock-value songs. Ryan meets up with Amanda who plans to show him "how to grab attention," which is a lot like Lady Gaga wanting to know how to change up her wardrobe a little. Amanda does a weird Britney impression and some ventriloquism and says that just in general she loves impressions.
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Comments (8)
They actually have gone on location to someone's house who got turned down. Remember Alexis Grace?
Well, the first year she auditioned, when she was wearing an entire container of body glitter on her cheekbones, they went to her house where she lived with her mom.
I don't remember if they've done that with anyone else though.
1 of 8 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on February 7, 2010 3:21 PM
Sorry, I meant Alexis Cohen.
2 of 8 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on February 7, 2010 3:24 PM
Carrie U., if you're reading this, I'm sorry to end it this way. Our love can never be. That entire weekend we spent in the sack was mindblowing, and I didn't mind at all about the Water Bra, but ...look. The only thing we really had in common was that I saved you from that skeevy situation with Randy Jackson in the parking garage. We can't base a relationship on that.
I want you to be happy with what's his name. So, it's best if you don't sext me anymore.
Love Always,
NWMTV
3 of 8 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on February 8, 2010 1:33 AM
Why would anyone spend an entire weekend inside of a paper bag?
A couple hours, sure. But a whole weekend?
This just goes to show you what a bad influence American Idol is having on people.
4 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 8, 2010 7:59 AM
Oh. Wait. Sack. Right.
I get it now.
Nevermind.
5 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 8, 2010 8:00 AM
Speaking of Alexis Cohen, she actually died last year. It won't let me post a link but you can find it on Google.
Great recap!
6 of 8 | Posted by seejay42090@msn.com | Posted on February 8, 2010 10:33 AM
Hey Moorels--I like your tone here!!! Fun recap of the show that brought us nothing . . .
I think they do diary's on lot of the peeps, if I'm not mistaken, there was the kid who lived in the car and a kid on a tractor last year or the one before, and neither made it past hollywood week. I'm guessing the one's they show are the ones that came out good, or sad, depending on the edit . . .
TFG it's Hollywood tonight, I don't think I could have stood another minute, and wow, 181 down to 24 . . .. it's not looking good for the meh's they let through.
And, I wish we could vote on who we think will be top 24, but Lawd knows, we likely only saw half of 'em!
I still hope the big Italian guy from Boston makes it, at least to 24--heck, I'll even vote for him if that's what it takes . . .
7 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 9, 2010 2:22 PM
judd, imo this season's crop looks very promising. I admit that I peeked at the spoilers (I know who is in the top 24)...Some of them look pretty darn good.
Also, moore, I loved reading the predictions made in the recap and seeing whether you are right. Awesome recap.
8 of 8 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on February 13, 2010 4:49 PM