There are times on American Idol where you're left saying "Well, that was quite a shocker", and there are times that you're throwing Little Caesars at the TV and screaming "ROOBBBBBBBBBEEED!"
Guess what kinda night this was for me?
Did you do enough to save your favorite Idol, America? That question at the beginning of the results hour has always really pissed me off. Well, Tink, I've devoted a minimum of TWO HOURS a week of my life and countless dollars (seriously, no one could count the amount I shelled out) during Idol Gives Back. Now I'm supposed to feel guilty that I somehow didn't SAVE one of these bozos from a life of dinner theater reviews in Branson, Missouri and shelling out complimentary massages at Relax the Back stores for the rest of their lives? Get off my ass, fairy! I did my part! I have a little Brooke doll that I stick pins in and chant nonsensically at week after week. I've seen my entire adult life what voting brings...
Screw that. Now I'm using positive visualization.
My point is, I'm not drinking any more of your guilt juice!
You mean to tell me Aloha's crushed dreams were all my fault? WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Things are as they should be tonight. Randy's in a jacket 30 years too young for him, Paula can't clap straight, and Simon is cuddling up to her and acting mortified that the fairy just kissed him on the mouth. Don't worry butch, I don't imagine gay America will be clamoring to get you at our rallies any time soon.
I was hoping that since it was Andrew Lloyd Webber week, the little virtuoso would stand center stage and sing "Everything's As If We Never Said Goodbye", Norma Desmond's belt it to the rafters number from "Sunset Boulevard" but no luck. Well, kinda luck. It looks like Nigel's sprung for a homely little crooked toothed puppet of the master for an Avenue Q tribute.
Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes...
The boys start off the "All I Ask Of You Medley" in their falsettos and it hurts. Cook winks and eye caresses the camera, Castro tries to find a pocket to stick his thumb in as he twitches for his notes, and Fetus is dead fish eyed as ever. Last night I kept screaming "Don't make him open his eyes! It's his only escape from his daaaaaaddddyyy!" No one could hear me from my shoebox apartment in East Hollywood, and now the Fetus is traumatized. I hope you're proud of yourself, ALW!
The girls are up next. Syesha is "animated", which as we learned last night, means that she has an eyebrow raised really high up as she stares into the camera like the "working actress" she is. Carly is firmly on it tonight, and she sounds so good that it's off, because she's the only one out of the six who seems able to handle the song. Brooke still blows chunks, and her shortcomings are way more obvious sandwiched between two actual real life singers.
Reeeeach! That's all I ask of you. And I don't care what anyone says, that is not a 24 year old neck.
Andrew Lloyd Webber is absolutely hilarious to watch. I wish Brooke would, because she would see that he's playing the piano WITHOUT STARING AT THE KEYS. Imagine that. He's both proud of his music and amazed at his own talent as he performs, and he follows the roaming camera like it's just swooping around all these brats to get better shots of him. Oh, Andrew. There's no such thing as a better shot of you. I have to give him some credit here, because he doesn't look like having anyone fired for turning his work into a lifeless, choppy Christian-radio sounding song, so cheers, ALW.
The best part of the number comes at the end. By now, he's singing along with them and trying to get the idols to understand rhythm and they are all off. He has no problem giving them a dirty look on stage. LOL, ALW. Maybe they were confused by the teeny bopper extras in the mosh pit, who still haven't figured out how to sway their raised arms to the beat. Key change! HAHA is that really necessary? The audience starts screeching, and I figured they were probably running for the exits, because it sounds like a nuclear warning siren just went off. Love it. I hope you sold some Phantom tickets in Vegas, tiger. I hope you sold out.
Right. Left. Right. Left. Still no? Moving on.
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Comments (11)
thanks for the speedy recap, Flip!!! Great analogies, and tho I zipped at the speed of light the minute the dark lord and his minion hit the screen, seeing your screen grabs, I am reminded of the song, "Backstabber" "they smile in your face"
I have some old, dirty needles of mine shipping to you express, maybe they'll be just the thing for your voodoo doll!!!! I say backlash next week, are people really going to stand for this!?
ps. I think Warble's hubby is the younger guy with more hair just off screen--who had a telling look on his face at one point . . . my coworker says Warble's recorded full lengths are great--anyone ever download one?
Fetus is getting creepier, yes!?, they don't need to make a bobble head, he already is one . . .
1 of 11 | Posted by juddan | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:23 PM
"never really had her breakout moment."
But she was given plenty of chances to have that moment...both in this show and with her previous recording contract.
And to Randy: of course this is a popularity contest. That's what the entire entertainment industry is. You have to be popular to sell...and you get popular by being charming, interesting, and likeable IN ADDITION to having some talent.
But being a "loser" on this show doesn't mean no career. Plenty of early exits have been followed by great success. (Clay Aiken, Tamyra Gray, Kimberly Locke, Bucky Covington, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry.) You just need to know how to expand your exposure once the show is over.
2 of 11 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:47 PM
I was so happy last night because both Jason and Brooke took ALW's music and pissed all over it, and I thought that there was NO way America was dumb enough to not vote one of them off, since everyone else got rave reviews.
I was FLOORED when not only were they not voted off, but neither of them were even in the bottom.
My guess is that people got all asshurt because "Jesus Christ Superstar" sounds really sacreligious, but SERIOUSLY. Jason over Carly?
Carly was my favorite person that was left, too!
Now I hate everyone left but Syesha. And sort of David Cook. I've liked him from the start, but knowing he's becoming the next Fetus really kills it for me.
3 of 11 | Posted by gildedlulz | Posted on April 24, 2008 2:38 PM
Hey Flipit,
Tell me where to send the money for your Brooke's "Hit" fund, I'm IN!!!!!
4 of 11 | Posted by ecthelion | Posted on April 24, 2008 3:28 PM
I can't be the only one who noticed that carly said "and i remembered all the lyrics!" at the end of her bottom 2 performance...
5 of 11 | Posted by aidennme | Posted on April 24, 2008 5:42 PM
i can't be the only one that noticed that carly said "And I remembered all the words" at the end of her bottom 2 performance... LOL
6 of 11 | Posted by aidnnme | Posted on April 24, 2008 5:44 PM
Great recap!
I think Brooke's husband is the 4th guy in.
I am sad that Carly is gone, but she as much as admitted she wasn't herself, and so never connected with the audience. When she was herself, I liked her -- and she clearly was close to many contestants. She has the raw material, she just gets in her own way. Oh well.
Brooke has to go, though. I'm afraid she is going to have a meltdown on stage.
Jason, well, I love him. Not Tuesday night, he was bad, but I have a total crush on him (I'm sad to say) and I am 25 years older than he is. I'm not sure why, 'cause I don't like the stoners, not a fan of the dreadlocks, and find him annoyingly inarticulate. Yet, I love him. He won't win, and 3rd is his best possible outcome, so anytime now he will be leaving me.
Of course, I don't vote, so don't blame me if you want him off.
7 of 11 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on April 24, 2008 9:55 PM
My dumbass actually shed a tear when Carly got voted off the show. Poop on me. I feel sad and let down... I really liked this season 'til now.
8 of 11 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on April 25, 2008 1:22 PM
I'm so glad that there are others who hate Brooke as much as I do.
This was posted on the LA times blog by someone who was at the results show :
"The high jinks however, took a more dramatic turn after Brooke White and Syesha Mercado took their turns on the stage. Once Angel of Death Ryan Seacrest gave Brooke the all-clear, she rushed to collapse on the couch, lying face down once the show went to commercial and openly weeping, a spectacle that summoned Paula to the stage to comfort her and raised many an eyebrow about her seeming bottomless well of neediness. Meanwhile, across the stage, Syesha, alone on her death stool, turned her back to the audience to let her tears flow, clearly thinking, I gave it my greatest performance and I’m still here on this damn stool. What more can I do for you people?"
WTF? Get that self-centered drama queen of my TV screen now. I'll pay for the therapist myself.
9 of 11 | Posted by Casiopee | Posted on April 25, 2008 10:17 PM
If it hasn't been clear this entire time how much the season sucks and now with Carly going home on her best performance, it surely is clear now.
With having all the intersting people been voted off, we are left with these zombies on stage namely Jason, Brooke, and David A who have been doing the same boring ass performances since week 1.
The only interesting person left is David C. and maybe Syesha. How awesome would it be if that robot kid David A. got eliminated in the top 3 and Syesha and David C. were the final 2. I know that won't happen, but one can dream.
10 of 11 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on April 26, 2008 11:27 AM
I didn't think either of the bottom two should have been there. I thought Carly and Tink chatting while Syesha sang was REAL rude and wanted Karma to nail Carly (thank you, Karma).
I agree that Carly's song choice lost her a tatoo parlor full of votes. Sort of the reverse of the famous ""Proud to be an American".
Things beyond AI control are having an effect on ratings - the election low-hijinks, the gas crisis, the housing crisis, possible food shortages, the resumption of "quality" programming, start of bikini season - America only has so much time and energy to go around.
Vote early and often.
11 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on April 28, 2008 12:31 PM