I keep pressing pause to get funny screencaps of Clay, but there are just too many. I'm freaking out the DVR.

Picture 10-9Picture 11-5
Will Wonka and The Fudge Packing Factory

Picture 12-4
Clay does Cook

Picture 13-4
...I was mistaken for a tranny three times.


Oh yeah, and Tamyra Gray is also interviewed, but as usual I can't hear a thing she's saying because I'm paying attention to someone else. Since they won't let ALW sing (boooo), we are treated to the winner of 2006's X Factor, Miss Leona Lewis. Simon takes full credit for her raging success (of course) and then gives a shout out to Clive Davis, too. You know, the guy who actually does the work.

I have Leona's album (gay as day, yessir. Step off) so I already have guilty love for her, but I have never seen her perform live before. I googled her before her song started and the first article that came up was about being a success in the US meant getting Mariah's trainer. LOL. Since Leona has been called the new Mariah, the reporter went to the diva herself. The article quotes Mariah as saying "Honestly, there has been so many, 'This is the new her,' and I'm like, 'OK, show me the new her. And I'm not particularly talking about this girl Leona, because I only heard her once and I didn't really hear a true similarity, particularly in the style of music." Now I have loved me some Mariah over the years, but after watching her performance last week on this show, I am very thankful there are no similarities in the styles of music and I am equally as thankful that Leona is willing to come out an belt her ass off in three octaves instead of trying to reinvent herself into something palatable for a different generation than her own.

Leona sings her face off beautifully, even though the song's a little cheesy, and there's not one contestant on AI this year (or in the past three) that can hold a candle to her. When huge pillars of fire erupt during her performance, all I can think is:

Picture 14-3
Smoke it if you've got it, Mariah. You're gonna need it.

Back to reality. Brooke and Syesha are out next. Tink reiterates all of Syesha's kudos, and then he makes a big L with his hand and puts it to his forehead when he talks to Brooke. Syesha says that she was so much better last night because musicals let her be someone else, namely "someone fun". HA. Brooke sticks up for her choice to stop and says that she's making more of an effort not to sassafrass the judges. That's real big of you. SHE'S SAFE!!! WTF???? Syesha slaps her hip and doesn't even try to hide that fact that that's total BULLSHIT. COME ON!!!! Brooke apologizes to Sy, who's like "shut up, ho. Go pout in the corner and give me my stage time."

Picture 15
But I thought America had all the power! This isn't right!

Picture 8-13
Oh yeah. Never mind.

Is this Brooke's husband?

Picture 16
Now this guy I believe has never seen an R rated movie.

Paula tells Syesha not to feel bad. She should be used to being in the bottom three by now and should be proud to be on that stool. Umkay, thanks dear. Syesha smiles at first, but once she's on that stool she's visibly pissed. I am sending her my Brooke voodoo doll. When we come back from break, she's crying. Awww.

Carly and Castro are last. Tink reminds Carly that Simon finally liked her work and Jason whispers to her "Probably the kiss of death". HAHA, and most likely. Carly says that she chose her song because she has been choosing songs to showcase her singing ability instead of having fun like she did last night, so from now forward she will be having fun. Pretty confident there. Castro's not. Tink keeps reminding him how much he sucked and instead of sticking up for his song choice, he just says "I don't wanna sing it again." HAHAHAHAH. Sure, Castro bit it last night, but he's done some nice work so far in general and come on, he's good times. HEY! I was being nice cuz I figured he was in the bottom, but HE'S SAFE!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. Fuckin tweens.

American Idol: You Must Hate Me, America Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4 

« The Bachelor: Matt's Greatest Day EVER | Main | Hell's Kitchen: "The Dinner Service Massacre" »

Comments (11)

juddan:

thanks for the speedy recap, Flip!!! Great analogies, and tho I zipped at the speed of light the minute the dark lord and his minion hit the screen, seeing your screen grabs, I am reminded of the song, "Backstabber" "they smile in your face"

I have some old, dirty needles of mine shipping to you express, maybe they'll be just the thing for your voodoo doll!!!! I say backlash next week, are people really going to stand for this!?

ps. I think Warble's hubby is the younger guy with more hair just off screen--who had a telling look on his face at one point . . . my coworker says Warble's recorded full lengths are great--anyone ever download one?

Fetus is getting creepier, yes!?, they don't need to make a bobble head, he already is one . . .

cattyfan:

"never really had her breakout moment."

But she was given plenty of chances to have that moment...both in this show and with her previous recording contract.

And to Randy: of course this is a popularity contest. That's what the entire entertainment industry is. You have to be popular to sell...and you get popular by being charming, interesting, and likeable IN ADDITION to having some talent.

But being a "loser" on this show doesn't mean no career. Plenty of early exits have been followed by great success. (Clay Aiken, Tamyra Gray, Kimberly Locke, Bucky Covington, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry.) You just need to know how to expand your exposure once the show is over.

gildedlulz:

I was so happy last night because both Jason and Brooke took ALW's music and pissed all over it, and I thought that there was NO way America was dumb enough to not vote one of them off, since everyone else got rave reviews.
I was FLOORED when not only were they not voted off, but neither of them were even in the bottom.

My guess is that people got all asshurt because "Jesus Christ Superstar" sounds really sacreligious, but SERIOUSLY. Jason over Carly?

Carly was my favorite person that was left, too!
Now I hate everyone left but Syesha. And sort of David Cook. I've liked him from the start, but knowing he's becoming the next Fetus really kills it for me.

ecthelion:

Hey Flipit,
Tell me where to send the money for your Brooke's "Hit" fund, I'm IN!!!!!

aidennme:

I can't be the only one who noticed that carly said "and i remembered all the lyrics!" at the end of her bottom 2 performance...

aidnnme:

i can't be the only one that noticed that carly said "And I remembered all the words" at the end of her bottom 2 performance... LOL

rjfrankel:

Great recap!
I think Brooke's husband is the 4th guy in.

I am sad that Carly is gone, but she as much as admitted she wasn't herself, and so never connected with the audience. When she was herself, I liked her -- and she clearly was close to many contestants. She has the raw material, she just gets in her own way. Oh well.

Brooke has to go, though. I'm afraid she is going to have a meltdown on stage.

Jason, well, I love him. Not Tuesday night, he was bad, but I have a total crush on him (I'm sad to say) and I am 25 years older than he is. I'm not sure why, 'cause I don't like the stoners, not a fan of the dreadlocks, and find him annoyingly inarticulate. Yet, I love him. He won't win, and 3rd is his best possible outcome, so anytime now he will be leaving me.

Of course, I don't vote, so don't blame me if you want him off.

dani2526:

My dumbass actually shed a tear when Carly got voted off the show. Poop on me. I feel sad and let down... I really liked this season 'til now.

Casiopee:

I'm so glad that there are others who hate Brooke as much as I do.

This was posted on the LA times blog by someone who was at the results show :
"The high jinks however, took a more dramatic turn after Brooke White and Syesha Mercado took their turns on the stage. Once Angel of Death Ryan Seacrest gave Brooke the all-clear, she rushed to collapse on the couch, lying face down once the show went to commercial and openly weeping, a spectacle that summoned Paula to the stage to comfort her and raised many an eyebrow about her seeming bottomless well of neediness. Meanwhile, across the stage, Syesha, alone on her death stool, turned her back to the audience to let her tears flow, clearly thinking, I gave it my greatest performance and I’m still here on this damn stool. What more can I do for you people?"
WTF? Get that self-centered drama queen of my TV screen now. I'll pay for the therapist myself.

bigjr6633:

If it hasn't been clear this entire time how much the season sucks and now with Carly going home on her best performance, it surely is clear now.

With having all the intersting people been voted off, we are left with these zombies on stage namely Jason, Brooke, and David A who have been doing the same boring ass performances since week 1.

The only interesting person left is David C. and maybe Syesha. How awesome would it be if that robot kid David A. got eliminated in the top 3 and Syesha and David C. were the final 2. I know that won't happen, but one can dream.

fire@will:

I didn't think either of the bottom two should have been there. I thought Carly and Tink chatting while Syesha sang was REAL rude and wanted Karma to nail Carly (thank you, Karma).

I agree that Carly's song choice lost her a tatoo parlor full of votes. Sort of the reverse of the famous ""Proud to be an American".

Things beyond AI control are having an effect on ratings - the election low-hijinks, the gas crisis, the housing crisis, possible food shortages, the resumption of "quality" programming, start of bikini season - America only has so much time and energy to go around.

Vote early and often.

Post a comment

Post a comment

60