May 22, 2009

American Idol Finale: Skara Wins!

Tonight, it's finale time!! There are lots and lots of senior citizens shaking their man boobs and playing meemaw anthems on their banjos, and even some surprises! Let's join hands one last time. Making fun of children on TV is the road to world peace. And THIS. Is American Idol!

200905220220
Sorry, but you still LOSE.

Posted by Flipit at 3:01 AM | | Comments (31)

May 20, 2009

American Idol: Ham or Twinkies?

Tonight, it's between a gay ham and a yawny twink. I CAN'T BELIVE IT'S ALMOST OVER!

200905201613
I will miss this sideways face.

Posted by Flipit at 4:47 PM | | Comments (17)

May 14, 2009

American Idol: Bite My Apple

Tonight, dreams do come true, but not for bat boys.

200905142105

Posted by Flipit at 9:29 PM | | Comments (36)

May 13, 2009

American Idol: Trishoutalon

Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady Gokey is so painful to watch dancing that he does this to a woman's face.

Picture 7-93

Posted by Flipit at 2:29 PM | | Comments (13)

May 8, 2009

American Idol Results: Church Lady Can Suck It

Tonight on American Idol Results, Daughtry's still a midge, Gwen takes an aerobics class, and Paula is still too old to be crawling on the floor in a bustier on national television.

200905072342
When in Doubt, multi-task.

Posted by Flipit at 12:00 AM | | Comments (31)

May 6, 2009

American Idol: Rock Isn't Dead, but it Could Use a Haircut

Tonight on American Idol, Church Lady screams like the Wicked Witch in the rain and Paula doesn't do drugs. Booooo!

200905061729
Have you seen my puppy little girl?

Posted by Flipit at 5:33 PM | | Comments (18)

May 1, 2009

American Idol Results: Hicks, Hams and Toothpic Gams

Intensity. Drama. White people doing runs. Judges using the word "brilliant" way too much. Jamie Foxx saying things like "five people who shocked the world" and "throat Olympics ". Choir directors who look like lesbians with glued on chin hair.

200904302127

This. Is the end of the world. And THIS. Is American Idol Results!

Posted by Flipit at 2:06 AM | | Comments (21)

April 29, 2009

American Idol: Rat Hacks

There are five Cylons. But who are they? And should they be allowed to breed with humans? And why does the AI stage look like the Into the Woods set? Join me as we watch the final five visit the graves of the Rat Pack and stomp on them as hard as they can. This. Is American Idol !

200904291013
I wish...

Posted by Flipit at 2:39 PM | | Comments (27)

April 24, 2009

American Idol Results: Moon Over Miami

Tonight on American Idol Results, some woman named Freda puts a tent in my boxers.

200904241736

Posted by Flipit at 9:56 PM | | Comments (14)

April 22, 2009

American Idol: Fevered Disco

Tonight on American Idol, America made this face:

200904221330

Posted by Flipit at 2:09 PM | | Comments (41)

May 22, 2009:American Idol Finale: Skara Wins!
May 20, 2009:American Idol: Ham or Twinkies?
May 14, 2009:American Idol: Bite My Apple
May 13, 2009:American Idol: Trishoutalon
May 8, 2009:American Idol Results: Church Lady Can Suck It
May 6, 2009:American Idol: Rock Isn't Dead, but it Could Use a Haircut
May 1, 2009:American Idol Results: Hicks, Hams and Toothpic Gams
April 29, 2009:American Idol: Rat Hacks
April 24, 2009:American Idol Results: Moon Over Miami
April 22, 2009:American Idol: Fevered Disco
April 18, 2009:American Idol Results: SAVE!
April 15, 2009:American Idol: More Gore, Please
April 10, 2009:American Idol Results: Dandelion in the Wind
April 8, 2009:American Idol: Cutting the Ham
April 3, 2009:American Idol Results: Simon Loses His Ca(w)Ca(w)
April 1, 2009:American Idol: Yell Art
March 28, 2009:American Idol Results: Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Smokey
March 26, 2009:American Idol: Uh...Notown
March 21, 2009:American Idol Results: Whore it Up at Home
March 18, 2009:American Idol: Country Crocks
March 14, 2009:American Idol Results: Your Lazy Eye is Out
March 11, 2009:American Idol: Dear Michael
March 6, 2009:American Idol Results and Wild Card: Not the Best Voice We've Heard... so You're In!
March 4, 2009:American Idol: Relevance
March 1, 2009:American Idol: The Return of Open Wound White
February 26, 2009:American Idol: Can't Get No
February 21, 2009:American Idol Results: Dreams of My Chicken Fingers
February 18, 2009:American Idol: Nigel, Come Home Baby
February 14, 2009:American Idolts: Stuff Happened and Then Salma Hayek Breast Fed Someone Else's Baby
February 12, 2009:American Idol: Four Rooms Full Of Crazay
February 7, 2009:American Idol: Don't Forget the....wait, what was I saying?
February 5, 2009:American Idol: Hollywood's Not For Sissies. Wait. Never Mind.
February 2, 2009:American Idol : Condensed Crazies
February 1, 2009:American Idol: The Merry Old Land of Osmonds
January 29, 2009:American Idol:Jacksonville:Home of the Dawg
January 25, 2009:American Idol: Louisville Sluggos
January 21, 2009:American Idol: The Wrong Rectum!
January 17, 2009:American Idol: Kansas City Is NOT In Kansas, Please Stop Singing "Over The Rainbow"
January 16, 2009:American Idol: Whore-Ass For Hollywood!
May 22, 2008:American Idol: Donna Summer Wins
May 21, 2008:American Idol: Fetus Bites Cook's Ear Off, Proceeds to Sing in Ear with Robotic Perfection
May 16, 2008:American Idol: Tapdancing Penguins: 1, Syesha: 0
May 14, 2008:American Idol: Dead Horses
May 8, 2008:American Idol: America's Most Smartest Idol
May 7, 2008:American Idol: Gang of Four and Songs of Ganja
May 1, 2008:American Idol: And Then There Were Four: Voodoo Dolls Really Do Work!
April 30, 2008:American Idol: Maybe Dolly Parton Week Wasn't So Bad After All...
April 24, 2008:American Idol: You Must Hate Me, America
April 23, 2008:American Idol: Brooke White and Restartgate
April 18, 2008:American Idol: Top 7 Results, Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth, or Something Like That
April 15, 2008:American Idol: Tonight Was Brought To You By Randy Jackson
April 10, 2008:Idol Gives Back 2: Give Me the Two and a Half Hours You Stole From Me and I'll Send My Own Goddamn Mosquito Net
April 9, 2008:American Idol: Top 8, The Future Belong$ to Tho$e Who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dream$
April 4, 2008:American Idol: Results: Jesus, Gravity, and Sticky Rice
April 2, 2008:American Idol: Dollywood Stock Just Plummeted
March 28, 2008:American Idol: Tonight, America Dies a Little Inside
March 26, 2008:American Idol: Billie Jean is Not My Cover
March 21, 2008:American Idol Results: Back to the Flat Bed
March 19, 2008:American Idol: Please Don't Wake Me, Peter Frampton Is Pissed
March 13, 2008:American Idol: Results: Horton Hears a Whore
March 12, 2008:American Idol: The Assassination of John Lennon
March 7, 2008:American Idol: Mom Jeans
March 6, 2008:American Idol: The Boyz -- Boss or Buggin'?
March 3, 2008:AMERICAN IDOL: RESULTS, AND ARCHULETA CRIES
February 28, 2008:American Idol: Hopelessly Crazy If You Leave Me Now, Wayward Son
February 27, 2008:American Idol: The Feat of the Fetus
February 22, 2008:American Idol: Results: Out Like A Fat Kid in Dodgeball
:American Idol: Grrrrrrl!
February 21, 2008:American Idol: Three Davids, Jeff Spicoli, and a Jacuzzi
February 15, 2008:American Idol: Hollywood Week Results Show
:American Idol: TVgasm Pops My Idol Cherry
February 9, 2008:American Idol: Let's Get This Show on the Road Already!
February 6, 2008:American Idol: The British Invade Hotlanta
February 3, 2008:American Idol: Miami - Swirling Wind of Ruin
January 31, 2008:American Idol: Poppin' Cherries
January 29, 2008:American Idle: Confessions of a Hollywood Week Failure
January 24, 2008:American Idol: San Diego
January 23, 2008:American Idol: Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places, and Plenty of Damn Losers
January 19, 2008:American Idol: Dallas, Land of Brotherhood
January 17, 2008:American Idol: Philly Cheese
May 27, 2007:Recap: American Idol Finale: The Final Squeeeeze!
May 23, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Finally
May 21, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Booalittle
May 16, 2007:Recap: American Idol: We Snooze, You All Lose
May 12, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Why, God?
May 9, 2007:Recap: American Idol: "You Can't Kill the Boogie, Man"
May 5, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: BFF
May 2, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Rock-y Road
April 29, 2007:Recap: Idol Gives Back: Shake Your Booty, Africa!
April 25, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Give a Little
April 20, 2007:Recap: Amerian Idol Results: Buh-Bye-Uh!
April 18, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Country Mourning
April 13, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Idol Cares, but Do I Have To?
April 11, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Make a Run for the Border
April 5, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Fourth Time's a Charm!
April 4, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Old School
March 30, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Love Your Hair, Hope it Wins!
March 28, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Faux Rock Pony Hawk
March 22, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: When In Doubt, Jiggle Like You Mean It
March 21, 2007:American Idol: LuLu Invasion
March 16, 2007:Recap: American Idol Results: Bottom Boys
March 14, 2007:Recap: American Idol: The Top Two (And the Other Ten)
March 2, 2007:Recap: The Girls Are Still Better Than The Boys; Plus, Eliminations
February 28, 2007:Recap: The Boys Are Back In Town
February 23, 2007:Recap: American Idol: The First Cuts Are The Boring-Ist!
February 22, 2007:Recap: American Idol: White Girls Can't Sing
February 21, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Sooooo The Guys Kind of Suck
February 15, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Meet The Semifinalists! (We Guarantee You've Never Seen Them Before)
February 14, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Hollywood Up To No Good
February 8, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Milking The Auditions One Last Time...
February 7, 2007:Recap: American Idol: The San Antonio Spurned
February 1, 2007:Recap: American Idol: California Dreamin'
January 31, 2007:Recap: American Idol: High On Auditions
January 25, 2007:Recap: American Idol: New York, We Got A Hot One Tonight!
January 24, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Memphis Grizzlies
January 18, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Starless In Seattle
January 17, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Is Idol Back? You Betcha!
January 15, 2007:Recap: American Idol: Top 10 Most Annoying Idol Finalists
January 14, 2007:Classic Recap: American Idol: High Standards
January 5, 2007:Classic Recap: American Idol: Soaring Vocals, Gratuitous Cameltoes
January 4, 2007:Classic Recap: American Idol: Bright Lights, Sin City
November 3, 2006:Newsgasm: The Real Reason Why The Mets Lost The Pennant
October 26, 2006:American Idol Or Porn?
July 28, 2006:Proud To Be An American....Idol - Giveaway!
July 12, 2006:Fox Announces Seven Chances to Embarrass Yourself
July 10, 2006:Snoop Dogg Pushes the Limits of Street Cred
June 14, 2006:Andrea Bocelli Concerts are a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR A YEAR INDUSTRY
June 9, 2006:Giving Things Away Can Be A Drag
June 7, 2006:Katloaf Suffers from Debilitating Stage Fright!
May 25, 2006:One Idol To Rule Them All
:TVgasm Infiltrates the Official McPhee Viewing Party
May 24, 2006:American Idol Live Blog 5-24-06
:American Idol Music Special: Don't Judge Me Edition
May 23, 2006:Down To This
:American Idol Live Blog 5-23-06
May 22, 2006:Paradise by the Idol Lights
May 19, 2006:TVgasm Encounters Bona Fide Case of McPheever
May 18, 2006:Another Idol Phones Home
May 17, 2006:Take Your Pick
May 16, 2006:TVgasm...Live!
May 11, 2006:Checking Into The Heartbreak Hotel
May 10, 2006:It's Now Or Never!
May 4, 2006:Avert Your Eyes!
May 3, 2006:No More Favors
:Knocks Me Off Of My Feet
April 27, 2006:Paula and Michael: Face to Face
April 26, 2006:There's Other Calamari In The Sea
April 25, 2006:Can You Feel The Love Tonight?
April 20, 2006:So Long, Sucker
April 19, 2006:High Standards
April 12, 2006:Another One Bites The Dust
:Queen For A Day
April 7, 2006:The Sum of All Fears
April 5, 2006:Who Picklered That Prom Dress??
:WHAT!?!?
April 4, 2006:My Country 'Tis Of ZZZs
March 30, 2006:McPhierce Competition!
March 24, 2006:One Cingular Sensation
March 23, 2006:Ryan Cabrera: Trendiest Guy At Fuddruckers!
:Pray For the Soul of Humankind
:The Sky Has Fallen!
March 17, 2006:A Small Wonder
March 10, 2006:Yay! Top Twelve!
March 7, 2006:Dawg For A Day
March 3, 2006:Looney Tunes
February 24, 2006:Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
February 17, 2006:The Top 24
:Everybody Loves Twins
February 9, 2006:We're Back!
February 4, 2006:Don't Mess With Texas Texas Is A Mess!
February 1, 2006:How to not make it on American Idol: A Las Vegas Story
January 26, 2006:If You're Singing in San Francisco
:Brush With Greatness?
January 25, 2006:Everybody Dance Now
January 20, 2006:Who's That Girl?
January 19, 2006:It's Baaaack...
August 22, 2005:The World Finally Makes Sense Again
August 5, 2005:Please Constantine, We Dare You
June 30, 2005:Bo Gets Married, Constantine Still Sucks
June 1, 2005:Fallen Idol
May 25, 2005:Kiss This Season Goodbye
:Paparazzi Idol
:Sleeping the Dream Alive
:Ay --- It's a Bump!
May 19, 2005:The Vonz: The Jukebox Tolls for Thee
May 18, 2005:Bice and Easy Does It Every Time
May 17, 2005:3,478 Episodes Later...
May 12, 2005:Passions of the Bice - A Photo Essay
:Carrie Underwood's Secret Romance With Ryan Phillippe Revealed!
May 11, 2005:You Cannot Touch The Seacrest!
:Fake Bake Mistake
May 5, 2005:ABC News: Officially Pathetic
May 4, 2005:Survey Says: Fox Slipped Up -- Or Did They?
:Suckiness: Now Available in Red, Black, or Pasty
May 3, 2005:This Is Not Aight; This Is Not Aight At All.
May 2, 2005:Paula Abdul: Pills? Maybe. Hot for Idol contestants? Not likely.
April 28, 2005:Sweet Relief
April 27, 2005:I Want YOU... To Barf
April 22, 2005:For Everything Else...There's Claystercard
April 21, 2005:As They Say, 'Idol' Hands...Grope Each Other!
April 20, 2005:Constantine Brings New Suck to American Idol
April 17, 2005:WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE suck
April 14, 2005:Mystery Fan With Sign Identified
April 13, 2005:Vicodin to Paula Abdul: "Stop Eating My Family"
April 12, 2005:It All Makes Sense Now...
:Gasmini The Wondertastical...On American Idol
April 5, 2005:Hey Now, What's That Sound?
March 30, 2005:BREAKING NEWS - TVgasm Beats A Dead Horse
:Our Eyes -- They Burn! They Burn!
:As Long As We're Making Fun of Constantine...
:The Makings Of An Idol
:Barf Personified
March 22, 2005:UPDATE- Don't Call Just Yet
March 18, 2005:Paula's Rush, Rush Hour Mishap
March 16, 2005:Breaking News Heartstopper: Constantine Not So Bad
:Super Mario Appears On Letterman, Looks Very Short.
March 14, 2005:Mama Mia! Game Over for Super Mario
March 13, 2005:Vazquez is Out -- Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
March 8, 2005:Idol Mid-Season Break-Down
February 11, 2005:Hollywood: The Place Where Dreams Become a Reality TV Show
February 1, 2005:Bright Lights, Sin City
January 28, 2005:You Have the Right to Remain Famous
January 27, 2005:American Idol: New Orleans, Same Old Garbage
January 21, 2005:American Idol: Highlights from St. Louis, Misery
January 19, 2005:American Idol: Soaring Vocals, Gratuitous Cameltoes
May 26, 2004:Guided By Voices