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Pray For the Soul of Humankind - TVgasm

by B-Side

Horrendous news from the recording industry. Constantine Maroulis has departed from his trailblazing band, Pray for the Soul of Betty. This brings to an end a monumental era which saw a new dawn in the rock 'n' roll world. Fans of the band are reported to be "shocked" and "speechless" and "total idiots." Constantine announced his big move in People Magazine where he said, "With all of my solo projects speeding up, we just felt it was time to move on." Connie's future plans include recording a solo album, developing an ABC sitcom, and sucking in a general way. No word on whether or not he'll simply go away and disappear from pop culture forever, but we're confident that his annoying pout and sheer lack of talent will someday return him to the irrelevant scrap heap of society.


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Posted by B-Side on March 23, 2006 11:15 AM

Comments

I'm sorry, but let it be known I think this is the funniest thing you've ever written on TVGasm. Love you guys.

Posted by: stm007 [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 12:02 PM(#1 of 12)

Yes! I have been waitng for a reason to link to this, further showing what tool constantine is, please check this out, if you've seen it, its still good for a laugh, please watch constantine making an ass of himself(and falling)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yURaCArsToQ&search+constantine%20fall

Posted by: hardly@work [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 12:14 PM(#2 of 12)

Constantine is the Omarosa of American Idol.

Posted by: dredge [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 1:37 PM(#3 of 12)

Does anyone know what this alleged sitcom is about, or have a name or air date or anything? I have been hearing about this for awhile, and I am curious to know more.

Posted by: bluebell [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 1:48 PM(#4 of 12)

Fans of the band were reported to be "total idiots" -- pricelss, B-Side.

It was "so nice" to see Constantine return to the audience of the show that made him the superstar stud that he is today. When Ryan Seacrest complimented Chris' rock performance by saying "Constantine was rockin' to it" (or something like that) I don't think Chris took it as a compliment -- I wouldn't have either. I would have been like, "damn, I was that bad?"

Posted by: TWilliams [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 2:44 PM(#5 of 12)

This was funny, I thought this dirtbag was long gone. Wash that hair ConnieBoy!

KH
Not a fan of ConstantSuck Maroulis

Posted by: KatiesHole [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 3:48 PM(#6 of 12)

Thanks to American Idol, we now know why Constantine left the Betty band. Ryan Cabrera is his Yoko, and it just got to be too much for the lesser Bettys to handle. Now Constantine and Ryan can make their own sweet music together without the pesky band interfering.

Posted by: happy_gal [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 23, 2006 5:39 PM(#7 of 12)

Calling the Betty fans "total idiots" is putting it mildly. That pack is a deranged bunch of psychos!

Posted by: HurriCathy [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 26, 2006 8:59 PM(#8 of 12)

Dude. You don't even KNOW how bad the shizzle got on the day the divorce was announced. Ouch. Hell hath no fury like a Betty who was in denial.

That said? I LOVE him and you will be proven wrong! Forevah!!!!!!

Okay, that was a little over the top. I still have hope for him.

Posted by: Rori [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 27, 2006 7:39 PM(#9 of 12)

If you'd like to know what is really sending him back to the scrap heap of society, read it here:

http://itsgoodtobeus.net/phpbb2

Hint: he's doing it to himself!

Posted by: amazonho [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 27, 2006 8:02 PM(#10 of 12)

I recently came across a recording of Mike Dagger and the Moving Rocks, hell I can't remember their names because I've never heard of them before until yesterday, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and comparing it to the video of Consatntine singing the same song I can seriously say the tonal quality of Mike's voice and the arrangement is totally lame.
Believe me, I have a Master's of Music from Gallundet University and I teach a Music Appreciation class for deaf children, so my credentials are impecable.
You can try making fun of me and my credentials but I know a lot of people, in my group of internet friends, who agree with me. Go on, try matching wits with me at the AI fox forums. I am better than all of you when it comes to critiquing Music.
Constantine is the greatest gift to music since that guy Elven Priestly, whom I found out today was considered an icon of Rock and Roll, although I've never heard of him before.

Posted by: gogocarlot [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 28, 2006 6:48 AM(#11 of 12)

Last stop will be Surreal Life. Then hopefully we will no longer be subjected to him.

Gotta keep the 15 minutes going as long as possible.

Posted by: MtnWoman [TypeKey Profile Page] | March 31, 2006 2:37 PM(#12 of 12)