Tonight's show began with an insta-cameo, courtesy of Fantasia Barino, she of the "I'm gonna win Idol and then disappear forever" school. We then found hostess with the mostess, Ryan Seacrest, whose wardrobe took "The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" to new levels. Seriously -- I think he was wearing a gray bodice. Anyway, since tonight's theme was the music of Queen (and we all know that Ryan loves Queen music), Monsieur Seacrest then took us on a whirlwind tour of the band's career. Amusingly (or perhaps disturbingly) enough, the show kinda, sorta glossed over Freddy Mercury's death, simply saying that it shocked everyone. Yes, very shocking. Almost as shocking as if Maude from Iowa had to hear the words "gay man" and "AIDS" on TV! Anyway, we then caught a glimpse of the surviving band members now in their old and decrepit state, with Ryan referring to them as "seasoned veterans." Yes, emphasis on SEASONED.

Ryan then mentioned that the director of American Idol was the very same man who directed that seminal music video for "Bohemian Rhapsody." That would have been awesome if we had cared, but we didn't; so let's move on. Actually, we couldn't move on because not only did Ryan give the director a shout-out, but we then had to sit through an awkward and overlong bit where Ryan pretended like he actually was the director calling out the camera shots. This resulted in lots of finger-snapping (a standard for Seacrest, I'm sure) and then quiet, uncomfortable silences. Brilliant.

I am going to start calling Bucky's mustache the "Dirty Jethro"