Jel-Lo comes out to do her number dressed like Stevie Knicks on a Mexican holiday. She has really gotten into the whole Spanish superstar thing, complete with fireworks and thick backup dancers with too much makeup, silver pleather motorcycle jackets, and leather daddy caps. She's wearing more money on her right arm than all of the girl's costumes combined. Her diamonds and white gold sparkle into the light and hypnotize me. Suddenly I am naked and sobbing. Dammit, Jel-Lo! You made me feel something again! Damn you!
When Tink asks her how she felt about the Judges' comments last night, she says that she comes from the Paula school of judging (and gnarly patterned tops) and that "positivity and rightness make more rightness". Uh, two wrong rightnesses don't make a right, Jel-Lo. The stage is still filled with smoke after Jel-Lo's variety hour, and Tink says much more of this and everyone's lungs are gonna look like Simon's. Ah, Cowell's a chain smoker, eh? That's hot.
Powder's safe! High ho, high ho. It's off the show you go. Haley cries as she watches her remember when montage, and I suddenly feel horrible for all the mean slut jokes I have lobbed her way. Really, is that necessary? Then she hacks apart "Turn the Beat Around", blows a donkey, and cuts Tink for walking onto her turf. I feel better now.
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Comments (14)
Sangina is a boy?!!
holly crap!
1 of 14 | Posted by heehaw
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Posted on April 13, 2007 11:36 AM
It's all downhill from here.
Lakisha will be making her seductive faces and showing off more and more of her melons in an attempt to stay in.
Doolittle will be giving the same performance 7 more times.
The losers will vote for Blake cause he makes them feel cool.
Who else is left?
Ugh.
I can't wait to see Sanjaya do country.
2 of 14 | Posted by soflat | Posted on April 13, 2007 11:58 AM
Ugh, this season really blows! Sanjaya will probably win, it totally sucks.
I love "compli-diss"!
3 of 14 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on April 13, 2007 12:20 PM
HEY, LAKESHA HAS BACK BOOBS!
so so sexy!
4 of 14 | Posted by Marty | Posted on April 13, 2007 1:28 PM
sorry sanjaya...jel-o is already married to a penis lover!
this show is getting worse and worse, but flip-it keeps getting funnier!
5 of 14 | Posted by tulip618
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Posted on April 13, 2007 2:48 PM
I want to see Sanjaya sing Shania Twain's "Man, I feel like a woman".
You give great recap, flipit. Love you.
6 of 14 | Posted by may1 | Posted on April 13, 2007 2:49 PM
With Haley Ho gone... I see Lakisha taking over the role of "Sexy Girl".
Dolittle is too demure, and Jordin too young. Lakisha is the only one left to entertain the men of American (hope Haley left her the short shorts).
I can't wait to see what AI has instored for us on Country Night....
7 of 14 | Posted by Dyllani
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Posted on April 13, 2007 3:29 PM
That J-slut disease wasn't even singing. There was so much going on to distract the audience from her lip synching: the smoke, wind, fire, cha cha outfits, hair flips, all a lame attempt to throw the public off. Not me, J-whore. I know you weren't singing. What a piece of trash she is.
Oh, and speaking of ragged out sluts, Haley was one performance away from a wardrobe malfunction involving her cooter. If those shorts got any shorter.....
KH
8 of 14 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on April 13, 2007 3:45 PM
yay! KH--A cooter reference!!!
I actually did think miss Lo sang live, but it was blended with so much back-up voices (recorded, live?) that it didn't sound thin and awful like her last note . . . I'm not a hater, she made me feel something, I'm just not sure what it was, as I'm weak in spanish and was refreshing my cocktail for most of it--loved the eye shadow too!
Guess it's safe to pick Powder next week in the pool here at work (which I am so bad at this year! ugh!)
Thanks again Flipit, I promise you my first born!
9 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on April 13, 2007 3:59 PM
Idol Cares is cancelled. HA! flipit you slay me.
I look forward to the results recap every week just to see Idol Challenge screencap!
You're the best!
Oh, and May, I'm still hoping for the Sanjaya in Dolly drag for country week! Fingers crossed.
10 of 14 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on April 13, 2007 9:59 PM
heehaw(#1):
Maybe(totally NSFW!)
http://perezhilton.com/topics/sangina/if_you_are_easily_offended_20070412.php
11 of 14 | Posted by busybee68
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Posted on April 14, 2007 12:54 PM
This kinda sucks, I like everyone who is left!
12 of 14 | Posted by Rock Star
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Posted on April 14, 2007 3:13 PM
"Jel-Lo comes out to do her number dressed like Stevie Knicks on a Mexican holiday."
I just spit coffee all over my monitor. Absolutely hysterical.
Fantastic recap!! I am definitely a reader more than a comment-er. However, I knew I had TVgasm addiction problems when I saw Paula's outfit and my first thought "holy crap. Flipit's going to have a field day with this fiesta del failure!" :)
Thanks for making my morning!
13 of 14 | Posted by jenn | Posted on April 16, 2007 7:29 AM
Anyone else feeling like it is okay to miss a show this year? Without Haley...there is no reason to watch anymore...at least with her you could hope for a clothing malfuntion....now nothing! My only hope is that she will talk to Pickler and "buy some shoes" and come back on the show.
My money is probably on Blake, as he actually entertains. "What who me?"linda and Lakisha are the best singers, but not entertaining at all.
Sparkly Jordan, bless her heart, is too sweet and bubbly to probably make it.
Sanjaya....gross.
Powder....trying to be Ace....more like Chicken Little...ya still got the tour and metal to play with...
Chris....needs a good backhand. We get it, Justinesque....vocal running of the mouth....Mommy still dresses you (in your grade school clothes, apparently)....let him go, Indiana...let him go.
Like I said....boring this year. Not really pulling for anyone (just want Sanjaya to hike up his skirt and prance home).
However, they should have gotten Billy Ray Cyrus for country week. That would have been train wreck funny!
14 of 14 | Posted by Curvewatcher
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Posted on April 17, 2007 8:26 AM