For the Bee Gees Tribute Medley, Doolittle starts solo but her mic isn't turned on. Then it comes blasting in way too high and makes her sound completely busted for quartet harmonies. SABOTAGE! The song was "Emotions", and I just know Beyonce was at home laughing her ass off while she applied cellulite cream. Every time someone tries to touch her on this show, they fail miserably. LaKisha's solo line is "I don't want to hear your goodbye." I don't want to say it, KiKi!
This is one of the worst medley performances this year, but some credit goes to the sound mixers. The harmonies are out of balance and painful to listen to. Blake brought the only entertaining angle. He didn't know his words or moves and kept holding the mic away from his face and muttering "watermelon peas and carrots".
Tink tried to get the Judges to rag on the contestants for singing so many unknown songs when the Bee Gees have a gold mine of hits, but the kids came through tonight and proved that they could hack apart the hits, too. Congrats!
Tink says that his night was made watching Bill Maher lip synch to "Islands in the Stream". Oh, Bill. What are you DOIN'?!? As usual, his date looks like she's twelve.
Back from commercial, Tink says that KiKi had been talking to herself all during break. Aw. She knows it's coming and she's losing it. I'm muttering to myself too and rocking back and forth with my thumb in my mouth. She says that she was giving herself a pep talk. If she was sent home she didn't want to forget the words and she didn't want to cry. He asks why she seemed so nervous last night and she said she had a bunch of drama before the show and was over analyzing and hoping Simon would kiss her again. EW. Tink says to watch her mouth because Simon's puppet is in the audience and we don't want to make Simon mad. Then he grits his teeth and says "Hey! You look beautiful! Congrats on everything!" Wow. The girl's young. She looks like a skinny Spanx. Chris Hansen's missing out on a goldmine!
Tink tries to get Blake to badmouth Simon after getting such a terrible critique last night but he refuses to go there. The tux t-shirt is a big enough F-you.
The contestants got to catch a sneak peak of the new Fantastic Four movie and Blake says that in the next film he wants to play Torch. That's the best idea I've heard all day. Who doesn't want to see Blake on fire? Tink goes into the audience to talk to the cast and Chiklis looks giddy to be off FX for a night. There's an empty chair where the invisible woman is supposed to be. You tricksters! There's Jessica Alba! She takes the mic from Tink and starts selling the movie like she's on a Michael Buble infomercial. She talks on and on about nothing and giggles awkwardly. Ugh. The chair had more personality. No wonder Paula felt threatened. America, we've found a new judge!
Tink shows clips of the kids reminiscing about their childhoods. LaKisha, Doolittle and Blake were all raised by single moms, and there has to be a trend there. I blame my parents' happy marriage for my failure in life. Blake talks about getting kicked out of choir (good call) and his awkward phase. When's that over?
LaKisha shows more personality than we've seen and I laughed my ass off at her mom story, even though there were some creepy hints at child abuse.
Don't f with KiKi's mom.
She eventually starts crying and says that she knows everyone has a story, but seriously, her life has sucked the most. Jordin cries too and says that she can't believe that people are "turning on their TV's to watch ME!" Ew. I can't either. The top three will go home and have a video done about their family and their roots, and even though it's looking pretty doubtful, I hope KiKi moves on tonight because I want to see her mom in action.
Results time, and the four are in a huddle that they refuse to break. Aw! Solidarity! Wow, Blake has a huge butt.
Spanx is allowed to have a seat but before the rest of the results, we get AI's newest plan to rule the world! The producers are launching a new show that's like American Idol but for bands. Now you can sell out in groups. Hoorah! Please let Constantine back. It's been a long time but I still want to see that "band" he was always using for rock cred. Pleeeaaaase.
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Comments (20)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love that my happiness made you sad! GO BLAKE!!!
;-)
1 of 20 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 12, 2007 4:19 PM
Not to be cruel to Flipit, but I totally agree with Pegster. Flipit's evil ways have come back to haunt him! Karma!
2 of 20 | Posted by dacoyle
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Posted on May 12, 2007 6:14 PM
I have scrunchies in every color.
3 of 20 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on May 12, 2007 6:33 PM
Oh Chooch.Why am I not surprised? JHa.
4 of 20 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:14 AM
Hey flipit, did I mention:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Go Blake.
Hear.t
5 of 20 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:28 AM
I mean
Heart.
6 of 20 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:29 AM
Ok. I've been reading you all this season Flipit. But I finally have to break my silence and admit the truth- I'm a Mom AND a grandma. And I'm a Blakergirl! Melinda can sing, sure. But she has no visible neck. She also seems old to me. Jordin is young, pretty, and has a great voice. But alas - maybe too young. and inexperienced. And then theres Blake. I have probably listened to You Give Love Bad name at least 12 times this week. I love it. And as soon as his CD releases - I'm there to buy it. So win or lose- he's a star. And a bigger one than either of the women standing beside him right now. Cause baby, he's hot. And I get that way everytime I watch him.
GO BLAKE!
7 of 20 | Posted by Amythyst
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Posted on May 13, 2007 5:41 AM
chooch- HILARIOUS
amythyst- you have been a quiet little bird. glad to see beatboxing did some good and made you vocal!! i hope one day we are next to each other at a stop light while you blare your music and i blare stayin alive by lakiki so we can give each other dirty looks.
and dacoyle, you are walking on thin ice, mary. be careful. watch and learn. this is a vid of me and Pegster having it out. do you really wanna go there?
LOVE
8 of 20 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 13, 2007 10:05 AM
I only started watching this damn narcissistic succubus of a show again because of the Sanjaya stuff. But I will most definately have to stop watching if Melinda Doolittle wins (just as I did when Fantasia won).
Being a singing star isn't just about having a good voice (and I have yet to see Melinda do anything that would ever make it on the radio) its about looking good too. Sorry but large-mouthed bass/radish-head Fantasia didn't do too well, janitorial-looking Taylor is sucking it up, and Melinda Doolittle, who looks so much like a hamster/guinea pig I can honestly imagine her no-neck lapping up water from a rodent bottle is just the most irritating thing to ever be on idol!
That said, go Jordin! She's hot and she can sing. Blake is whatever. He's not hot (in my opinion-- yes I am a girl) and he can't sing that great, but no where near as irritating as hamster girl.
I think the show takes itself way too seriously when it tries to choose the best singer regardless of commercial value.
9 of 20 | Posted by shia0bundan
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Posted on May 13, 2007 10:50 AM
Ha. I didn't know anyone recorded our cat fight. Are your breastesess fake?
I am quietly gathering my army of Blake lovers and will take down all you haters!
His ass does look a little bubbly though, in that pic. I blame the poor lighting.
10 of 20 | Posted by Pegster
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Posted on May 13, 2007 11:58 AM
Nothing wrong with a bubbly ass. Just makes you want to squeeze it.
11 of 20 | Posted by Amythyst
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Posted on May 13, 2007 1:24 PM
Great recap - I was laughing so hard I forgot to hate on Jordin - she annoys me for some reason, and I feel that she is being groomed to be the winner, guess for commercial purposes she would be fine but I wouldn't buy her CD.
I root for Blake - he'll be probably as forgettable as Taylor Hicks but his choices work for me on AI - after all, just like ANTM, the show is geared to get ratings, not talent.
12 of 20 | Posted by morandi
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Posted on May 14, 2007 10:31 AM
I seriously don't get the infatuation women have with Blake. Yes - I am a female...
I don't think he is good looking or "hot" as many put it. His singing is okay and I do think he is original - just not sexy at all.
However, I had an unhealthy infatuation with Constantine so go figure.
AI messes with people's minds.
13 of 20 | Posted by eellsinoc
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Posted on May 14, 2007 11:53 AM
14 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:56 PM
15 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on May 14, 2007 12:58 PM
eellsinoc, I also liked Constantine a lot. he was very sexy - it was his eyes. When he sang the line "sleepin with me must have damn near killed ya" that lustiness came thru in his eyes.
But - I also had a short infatuation with Chris Richardson. And Daughtry.
As for Blake- there are a lot of adjectives for him. Cute. a sweet kind of shyness - but craziness too. i can just see him doing shots at a bar. His looks are very appealing- at least to me. I like watching him perform. I guess I never analyzed it - I just enjoy him. And I think he'll sell more albums than Taylor Hicks. (Whom I never really got anyway)
And as far as his ass goes - its fine. lol It's funny that the big topic is Blake's ass.
Ok, I just realized I'm a middle aged woman intrigued by young men.....
16 of 20 | Posted by Amythyst
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Posted on May 14, 2007 2:37 PM
shia0bundan: Clearly, looks have nothing to do with being an American Idol, as evidenced by Ruben Studdard, Clay Aiken, Sideshow Justin, Fantasia, and Taylor Hicks. Amongst that company, the final 3 fit right in.
Amythyst: I wouldn't be surprised if Blake sold more records than Taylor Hicks. I could sell more records than Taylor Hicks, and I don't even have an album out. Americans will pretty much buy anything, if Ashlee Simpson's career is any indication. You have to be particularly heinous to have that kind of publicity and still not sell a record. But if anyone can undersell Taylor, I think Blake's your man. What a wholly untalented douchenozzle.
Not that the other two are much better, but out of the 3 of them, Melinda definitely has what it takes. Namely: she can sing. More to the point, she can sing any genre to perfection, which makes her a prime candidate for record-selling. Blake can't sing even marginally better than your average boy-bander, and plus Justin Timberlake already has his act, so its nothing new. Jordin is just too "up with people" to be taken seriously. Maybe she can get a job on the "High School Musical" float at Disneyland.
This assemblage of Idol asshats is perhaps the worst since Sideshow Justin's season, where there were exactly 2 good singers (Kelly and Tamyra) and the rest were some cruel joke foisted upon the American public just to see of we were stupid enough to watch (newsflash: we are). I think AI can still save itself from being a national joke by admitting that our choices this year are akin to choosing between a shit sandwich and a poop sandwich and declate them all losers. Either that, or prevent delusional fangirls with hearing and vision issues from voting 800 times a week.
17 of 20 | Posted by Die_MediaWhores
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Posted on May 14, 2007 3:29 PM
Die_MediaWhore: I so disagree - AI is not about talent "as evidenced by Ruben Studdard" - it falls into the reality show category - "Money, Money, Money" (ABBA)- remember that early Simon reference - wish they actually had to sing ABBA - would have been hilarious!
Don't take me seriously - I'm watching The Bachelor right now!
18 of 20 | Posted by morandi
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Posted on May 14, 2007 10:21 PM
I've been enjoying your recaps very much Flipit. Seems like I work all the time and have very little to brighten my meager & despondent existence.
I feel your pain.(Love the crying baby cap) Kiki wasn't my favorite,(He left the week before) but she was an improvement over Melinda. At least Kiki had some personality. Plus her voice was pleasing.
I have to agree with Shia(#9). Melinda needs to go home. I have yet to be impressed with any song she's done so far. Not to mention that awkward hunched over tip-toeing squat walk she does EVERY TIME she's on the stage. Simon has yet to comment on that tho, just like he overlooks the facial scrunching that accompanies the aforementioned squat-walk. Dear me, if she wins it will cap the year that AI jumped the shark. No, I take it back. It will be the year the great white from Jaws leaped up and bit Fonzie's frickin' head right off as he went sailing by. Sorry, (not really) I think I'm PMSing.
19 of 20 | Posted by SparkleEmotion
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Posted on May 15, 2007 4:39 PM
Reading some of the other comments.........Did someone say Buble ass. Blake has a Buble ass?.....Or did they actually call Buble an ass.
Hmmm.... I am PMSing. Just call me irresponsible,(But Call me!!!)and I admit I just like working Buble into the conversation whenever possible.
Gotta go..... It's almost TIME for AMeriCan Idol!
20 of 20 | Posted by SparkleEmotion
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Posted on May 15, 2007 5:00 PM