The audience goes wild, and the sound of that many little girls screaming at once makes my dog put her head under the covers. Randy says the beat boxing gets a 10 out of 10, but the singing was just ok. Paula thinks Randy needs to get his ears cleaned out, because that was way better than it was over at CBS. Simon says he's not the best singer, but he's definitely the best performer they've had. Tonight.
The rest of the top 12 cheers together in the audience, and it's good to see Powder pandering to the American public again, even though he was kicked off weeks ago. Doolittle looks like she hasn't recovered yet, and stares off into space trying to figure out where she went wrong.
Tink recaps the Judges' comments. Simon liked it, Paula referred to the other studio, and Randy is unpopular. Hilarious. What a tool.
Not to be outdone in the gumption department, Spanx opens with Christina Aguilera's "Fighter". It's amazing when you see someone take a song so far out of their grasp and bring it home! This was not one of those times, but it's awesome when it happens. I just heard Christina Aguilera snap her fingers and snake her head around from across the city. Jordin looks beautiful, eye fucks that camera like she was born to do it, and works the stage confidently. Unfortunately, she can't do a single Christina riff, and when she goes into her upper belt she fights like a champ, but squeaks and cracks. I hope she's got some "Land Before Time Theme" comin' up, cuz the little girls are gonna need more than that.
The crowd goes insane, even woot wooting and chanting her name. Audience, will you marry me? I've got a killer rendition of "Everybody Hurts" that I've been dying to try out, but my room mate keeps banging on my door and telling me I suck. Randy points out again that tonight is about the great entertainer against the great singer. Her performance wasn't that great, but her voice was stellar. What, not great? Brilliant! Paula knew this was gonna be the best finale (that she can recall) ever, and Jordin and Blake proved it. "Stellar!" Stelllaaaaa! Simon starts with the good. He's glad she chose a song that was more age appropriate, because she's only 19. Wait. How old is she? He thought her vocals were shrieky and is shocked that the audience booooos. He gives Round 1 to Blake, and Constantine Maroulis agrees.
Paula takes 3 gibberish sentences to call it a tie, and Randy says Spanx wins on vocals, but Blake takes it on performance. The woot woot guys chant her name, but then they suddenly taper off, and I imagine Nigel standing up and shaking his finger at them. Tink shows us a clip of Blake telling us the story of how he started beat boxing. As a little boy, he asked for a drum set every year but his dad kept eating up the Christmas money. Finally, he met this guy who beat boxed during his senior year in college and was inspired to learn the art form in just one week. WOW. I would have thought those mad skillz took decades to master.
One person Blake knows he can out sing is Adam Levine, so choosing "She Will Be Loved" was a great move. He takes the stage in his trademark argyle and I have to hand it to this guy. He sticks to his guns. He's consistently off key and poorly dressed, but consistent's consistent. He touches hands with the throngs of little girls as he crucifies the song. He has trouble in his regular voice, and it gets worse with his strained falsetto. Painful and waayyy off key. I get choosing sides and picking a favorite and all that, but seriously. Would you play this for your friends and brag about having voted for it?
Randy said he loved the song and the pure sound of Blake's voice. Ricky Schroder agrees, vowing to make an appearance on every single creatively ailing FOX show.
Paula giggles and pretends she doesn't like Simon's hand on her knee. She was glad to see Blake ease into this song after such an energetic first number. Simon says it was good, safe, and a bad choice for the finals because it won't make much of an impact. Have to disagree with him there. I'll bet it made a huge impact.
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Comments (22)
"We'd have to say our favorite moment in last night's American Idol was that audience shot of Academy Award-winning actress Marlee Matlin applauding enthusiastically. She's deaf."
LOLOLLLLL love him or hate him, tb goes there.
1 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 23, 2007 7:46 AM
This is a PLEA to the parents of American teenage girls...
PLEASE TAKE HIDE YOUR HOME PHONE AND TAKE AWAY YOUR DAUGHTER'S CELLPHONES NEXT SEASON
Because, dear parents, THEY are the idiots responsible for allowing a mediocre- AT BEST-entertainer like Blake into the finals.
His performaces are laughable, tedious and downright shitty. If you can't do Maroon 5, you shouldn't be on a stage anywhere that doesn't include a playlist book, slips of paper, pencils and 20 beer drinking patrons.
American Idol is disappointing. Jordin is good, but I'd have rather seen a Lakisha/Doolittle show down. Everything else is a little to pink cotton candy-ish for me. I suppose this is a sign that this show is not for anyone with TASTE in music.
BTW - Chris had loads of eyeliner, mascara and shadow on during his performace. WAY TO ROCK IT KID!
2 of 22 | Posted by MTV4ME
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:31 AM
Did anyone else catch the reaction shot of Melinda and LaKisha while Jordan was singing that horrible last song? The look on Melinda's face was particularly great - anger missed with disbelief that she was sitting there with Powder and Timbycake, mixed with a little bit of "Furreal? THAT Ho?"
Awesome.
3 of 22 | Posted by DMNY66
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:37 AM
ooops... meant "Anger MIXED with disbelief"
4 of 22 | Posted by DMNY66
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:39 AM
I almost threw up when Spanx had the fake breakdown at the end of the song. She has a great voice, but I just really hate her personality.
And can't they pay Diane Warren or Max Martin or anyone remotely professional to write these songs??? That was really the worst finale song ever--something I never thought they could top after "Do I Make You Proud."
5 of 22 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:54 AM
EmancipationofGigi (#5), the whole idea of the song contest was to respond to the criticism of how bad these Idol winner's songs are, especially after "Do I Make You Proud" hit a new low last season. However, this year's song proves that amateurs can write crap songs just as trite and sacchirine as the professionals. I LOL watching Blake and Simon struggle not to call the winning song a piece of crap right there on live tv.
Flipit, great recap. Hope you'll be picking up another show for the summer (perhaps you'll be on the BB8 recapping team?)
As for Blake, last night's song proves that he's much better off NOT winning this thing. He should be able to sell a lot of CDs, and I could see him having success as a producer for other artists, since he really seems to be into arranging songs and being in the studio.
6 of 22 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:17 AM
. . . oh, and "Sittin on the dock of the gay"? LMAO!
7 of 22 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:19 AM
Wow, that finale was just.... bad.
Seriously.. Blake and Jordin???
Blake is totally not right for the show. As has been stated before, he's a total performer, definitely not a singer like this competition is supposed to be about.
And Jordin... I actually never thought she was faking her bubbly annoying personality until last night when she squeezed out those tears during that crap song.
8 of 22 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:38 AM
I thought Blake did a horrible job on all his songs. He is GREAT at performing and getting the crowd involved, just not vey good at singing. I think Jordin has this one. She did good on her songs, but I thought she was trying to make people feel sorry for her by singing Christina's song and fake crying on the last song. By the way it was horrible. Blake agreed that the song was hard to sing and I agree that it sucked. He really just didn't seem like he was giving his ALL. Why not give it your all? This is the finale, you are suppose to go all the way. I think Jordin should win for trying. Blake is great and all, and even if he doesn't win, he will be somebody just like all the runner ups on this show. They all eventually made records. It won't be the last of who ever loses. I hope I see Chris Richardson come out with something soon. He reminds me soooo much of Justin and sounds just like him, with out the looks though!!
9 of 22 | Posted by sillage
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Posted on May 23, 2007 10:23 AM
I just have to say...as others already have...
That original song sucked - BIG TIME!!! That was by far the worse yet. Seriously. I thought the reason they had the song writing competition was to find something great - IT DID NOT WORK!!!!
10 of 22 | Posted by eellsinoc
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Posted on May 23, 2007 10:35 AM
i'm going to go with jordin, just based on that horrid song at the end. seriously, one of the worst ever. but she did a great job.
my big reason for commenting today? to say THANK GOD for flipit. seriously, i have a few recaps i read religiously on this site. and flipit, you are the only one who is even remotely prompt (while continuing to be witty). and for that, i thank you.
11 of 22 | Posted by sweetjane
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:50 AM
I'm not gonna lie...I do think Spanx has a great voice, but I was laughing at the TV last night while I was saying Flipit lines like..SQUEEZE and TIC TAC when she was fake crying and doing the wide mouthed thing. I know she's "ONLY 17", but she can be really annoying with all of the cutesy look at me moves she does to the camera. While I won't say that I dislike Blake, he was definitely way out of his league last night...I thought it would be a LaKisha/Doolittle/Spanx final 3...but every year I choose people who don't make it til' the end. Perhaps I should pick up a phone and vote?? :)
12 of 22 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on May 23, 2007 12:31 PM
I love you, Flipit! I hope you will be recapping something new when Idol ends.
Kinono...lol.
13 of 22 | Posted by timwakefield
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:39 PM
I love you, Flipit! I hope you will be recapping something new when Idol ends.
Kinono...lol.
14 of 22 | Posted by timwakefield
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:39 PM
Ugh... I can't stand Jordin; something about her just rubs me the wrong way. I think it might be her little facial affectations and her cheezy/corny/insincere personality.
Anyway, I'm sure she'll win, but my prediction is that Blake will outsell her. Blake sing the kind of music that is big right now: dance type stuff with heavy, driving beats. Also, I just don't see how marketable Jordin could be... she's too young to appeal to an older crowd, but looks too old to appeal to the teens. And she really doesn't have that pop-star image either.
When the dust has settled, Blake will move more records, so I guess he'll be the real winner.
15 of 22 | Posted by NateTheOkay
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:48 PM
'Fess up, Flipit, which BlakerGirl's picture did you steal to get that "I voted" thing at the end? Someone from here, right?
"Sitting on the dock of the gay" made me choke on my bong hit.
LOVE YOU FLIPIT!
16 of 22 | Posted by brendahamLincoln
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:14 PM
THANKS you guys. brendaham, that was taken back when I voted for Dukakis.
Any special plans for the finale tonight? You know it's gonna be craptacular. Can't wait. LOVE
17 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:28 PM
Screencap: Blake's Future = Cruise Ship Nightmares
Dear Flipit, to whom do I send the bill for my new keyboard and monitor? There is a fine sheen of Coke Zero all over mine now, because of that.
And Dearest Flipit: YOU+HELLS KITCHEN IN JUNE!!! PLEASE! Do not leave this to a lesser god!
18 of 22 | Posted by killbondnow
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:46 PM
My plans for tonight: a cool buzz and tasty waves. And I mean airwaves. I was thinking of crashing the big viewing party in Glendale, but I'm afraid the first snicker or snide comment about Jordin's phony attitude would bring down the wrath of a thousand soccer moms and 11 year old girls. And as ugly as they are, those crocs shoes hurt to get hit with. They're just glorified nana chanclas.
killbondnow, I think flipit should recap EVERY show, but he's already gonna do Top Chef, I don't think he can handle G-Ram on top of that. Oh, if only I had talent, I'd do it!
19 of 22 | Posted by brendahamLincoln
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Posted on May 23, 2007 5:17 PM
bLarf...
Wth was that? If that wasn't a dud of final two, I don't know what one is. I knew Blake wouldn't stand a chance with that last song when I heard the title. I guess I was hoping too much that they'd try to make it a little exciting.
I loved the "You call that an eye f-ck" caption. I was thinking the same thing. I feel dirty though... and not the good way. :-(
20 of 22 | Posted by raggedy_andy
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:53 PM
Flipit..please recap Hells Kitchen! That is my summer reality show indulgence, and you would just make it so much better!
21 of 22 | Posted by Cary
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Posted on May 25, 2007 9:04 AM
thanks, cary! i am recapping top chef this summer. treadingonme will be doing hell's kitchen. thanks for thinkin of me :)
22 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 25, 2007 9:55 AM