The audience boos him and he tries to get support from Paula, but she's laughing with Randy and waving at the audience like she's on a float. Blake gives a shout out of thanks to all the fans in the audience. Aw. I like everything about this guy except his vocals, his clothes, his hair, and his tongue tricks. I smell a winner!
Jordin has been singing since she was 8 months old and feels lucky to have the chance to "do" her dream. Thanks, America! No, really. THANKS. For her favorite song of the season, she's chosen Martina McBride's "With a Broken Wing". Smart, because she kicked ass on this one the first go round. This time seemed a bit rushed and emotionless, but her vocals were much stronger than the first song and she was solid toward the end. When she finishes, she bows her head and tries to well a few up while he audience goes bonkers.
Randy says that he's loved her from day one and this performance was flawless and better than the original. Age has nothing to do with it, but she's 17! HOLY CRAP! She's 17 years old!!! Paula tells Jordin she is adorable and in "really, really great vocal voice tonight". Way to do your dream, Spanx! Simon says "Now that was good!" No tears necessary, Spanx. You won that round. Humble as ever, she mugs out 27 different cutsie faces at the camera in less than 10 seconds.
Tink goes into the audience to introduce us to the winners of the song writing competition, but he tells the taller of the two to sit because he makes him look small.
The winning song is called (drumroll...) "This is My Now". I take a fourth ibuprofen and shake my head. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than "Inside Your Heaven". Blake sits on the lip of the ginormous screen and puts his leg up. A real artist isn't afraid to show their thunder thighs. This is probably the worst American Idol Song ever written, and it's by far the worst vocals Blake has ever turned in. He couldn't hit one solid line of notes, and his pitch problems were intensified by the huge group of tuneful back up singers. It's pretty unfair, because the song was obviously chosen for a Doolittle/Spanx showdown. Once again, though, he played to his audience, shook little girl's hands, and stuffed what looks like a grapefruit down the front of his pants. A boy's gotta do what a boy's gotta do.
Randy says he knows it's not the type of song Blake (or anyone else) would choose to record, but he did a decent job and shouldn't feel too bad about it. Uh, thanks. Paula thinks he was in great voice and did a great job, and Simon says that it wasn't a good song for him and he seemed frustrated as he jumped around the stage. Thankfully, there were two other numbers that were much better. He adds "I always said there was talent in Seattle, and I was right." There is no sarcasm in his voice, but I can agree with him. He was right from the beginning about Seattle. Blake says it's the first time he's heard Simon lie. LOL, Blake. You win.
Jordin comes out and wipes the floor with Blake. She actually made the song sound like it was good. If you just ignored the lyrics. And the music. She felt it, emoted it, and wailed it to the rafters. She started a little soft and shaky, but she really brought it home. My cynical ass even got tingles. This is your now, Spanx! I am firmly on her side until she cracks on her last note to try and convey tears that aren't there. Stop faking it, Shirley Temple! You owned that song! You got me to feel something, and I took 7 ibuprofen! Even the most evil doll in the world loved it.
Randy said that this is the best singing competition in the history of television and she deserves to win it all. Paula calls her an angel and tells her parents they have a lot to be proud of. Simon admits to Jordin that last week he didn't think she was good enough to win and publicly apologizes to her. He tells her she wiped the floor with Blake (hey! That's what I said! Pinky shake!) on that one and she FINALLY squeezes out a real tear. Atta girl! She came through in the last second and showed some true staahhh quality. Or I'm wasted.
It looks like Spanx is gonna take home the Mustang this year, but you never know with this show.
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Comments (22)
"We'd have to say our favorite moment in last night's American Idol was that audience shot of Academy Award-winning actress Marlee Matlin applauding enthusiastically. She's deaf."
LOLOLLLLL love him or hate him, tb goes there.
1 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 23, 2007 7:46 AM
This is a PLEA to the parents of American teenage girls...
PLEASE TAKE HIDE YOUR HOME PHONE AND TAKE AWAY YOUR DAUGHTER'S CELLPHONES NEXT SEASON
Because, dear parents, THEY are the idiots responsible for allowing a mediocre- AT BEST-entertainer like Blake into the finals.
His performaces are laughable, tedious and downright shitty. If you can't do Maroon 5, you shouldn't be on a stage anywhere that doesn't include a playlist book, slips of paper, pencils and 20 beer drinking patrons.
American Idol is disappointing. Jordin is good, but I'd have rather seen a Lakisha/Doolittle show down. Everything else is a little to pink cotton candy-ish for me. I suppose this is a sign that this show is not for anyone with TASTE in music.
BTW - Chris had loads of eyeliner, mascara and shadow on during his performace. WAY TO ROCK IT KID!
2 of 22 | Posted by MTV4ME
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:31 AM
Did anyone else catch the reaction shot of Melinda and LaKisha while Jordan was singing that horrible last song? The look on Melinda's face was particularly great - anger missed with disbelief that she was sitting there with Powder and Timbycake, mixed with a little bit of "Furreal? THAT Ho?"
Awesome.
3 of 22 | Posted by DMNY66
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:37 AM
ooops... meant "Anger MIXED with disbelief"
4 of 22 | Posted by DMNY66
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:39 AM
I almost threw up when Spanx had the fake breakdown at the end of the song. She has a great voice, but I just really hate her personality.
And can't they pay Diane Warren or Max Martin or anyone remotely professional to write these songs??? That was really the worst finale song ever--something I never thought they could top after "Do I Make You Proud."
5 of 22 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on May 23, 2007 8:54 AM
EmancipationofGigi (#5), the whole idea of the song contest was to respond to the criticism of how bad these Idol winner's songs are, especially after "Do I Make You Proud" hit a new low last season. However, this year's song proves that amateurs can write crap songs just as trite and sacchirine as the professionals. I LOL watching Blake and Simon struggle not to call the winning song a piece of crap right there on live tv.
Flipit, great recap. Hope you'll be picking up another show for the summer (perhaps you'll be on the BB8 recapping team?)
As for Blake, last night's song proves that he's much better off NOT winning this thing. He should be able to sell a lot of CDs, and I could see him having success as a producer for other artists, since he really seems to be into arranging songs and being in the studio.
6 of 22 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:17 AM
. . . oh, and "Sittin on the dock of the gay"? LMAO!
7 of 22 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:19 AM
Wow, that finale was just.... bad.
Seriously.. Blake and Jordin???
Blake is totally not right for the show. As has been stated before, he's a total performer, definitely not a singer like this competition is supposed to be about.
And Jordin... I actually never thought she was faking her bubbly annoying personality until last night when she squeezed out those tears during that crap song.
8 of 22 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on May 23, 2007 9:38 AM
I thought Blake did a horrible job on all his songs. He is GREAT at performing and getting the crowd involved, just not vey good at singing. I think Jordin has this one. She did good on her songs, but I thought she was trying to make people feel sorry for her by singing Christina's song and fake crying on the last song. By the way it was horrible. Blake agreed that the song was hard to sing and I agree that it sucked. He really just didn't seem like he was giving his ALL. Why not give it your all? This is the finale, you are suppose to go all the way. I think Jordin should win for trying. Blake is great and all, and even if he doesn't win, he will be somebody just like all the runner ups on this show. They all eventually made records. It won't be the last of who ever loses. I hope I see Chris Richardson come out with something soon. He reminds me soooo much of Justin and sounds just like him, with out the looks though!!
9 of 22 | Posted by sillage
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Posted on May 23, 2007 10:23 AM
I just have to say...as others already have...
That original song sucked - BIG TIME!!! That was by far the worse yet. Seriously. I thought the reason they had the song writing competition was to find something great - IT DID NOT WORK!!!!
10 of 22 | Posted by eellsinoc
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Posted on May 23, 2007 10:35 AM
i'm going to go with jordin, just based on that horrid song at the end. seriously, one of the worst ever. but she did a great job.
my big reason for commenting today? to say THANK GOD for flipit. seriously, i have a few recaps i read religiously on this site. and flipit, you are the only one who is even remotely prompt (while continuing to be witty). and for that, i thank you.
11 of 22 | Posted by sweetjane
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:50 AM
I'm not gonna lie...I do think Spanx has a great voice, but I was laughing at the TV last night while I was saying Flipit lines like..SQUEEZE and TIC TAC when she was fake crying and doing the wide mouthed thing. I know she's "ONLY 17", but she can be really annoying with all of the cutesy look at me moves she does to the camera. While I won't say that I dislike Blake, he was definitely way out of his league last night...I thought it would be a LaKisha/Doolittle/Spanx final 3...but every year I choose people who don't make it til' the end. Perhaps I should pick up a phone and vote?? :)
12 of 22 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on May 23, 2007 12:31 PM
I love you, Flipit! I hope you will be recapping something new when Idol ends.
Kinono...lol.
13 of 22 | Posted by timwakefield
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:39 PM
I love you, Flipit! I hope you will be recapping something new when Idol ends.
Kinono...lol.
14 of 22 | Posted by timwakefield
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:39 PM
Ugh... I can't stand Jordin; something about her just rubs me the wrong way. I think it might be her little facial affectations and her cheezy/corny/insincere personality.
Anyway, I'm sure she'll win, but my prediction is that Blake will outsell her. Blake sing the kind of music that is big right now: dance type stuff with heavy, driving beats. Also, I just don't see how marketable Jordin could be... she's too young to appeal to an older crowd, but looks too old to appeal to the teens. And she really doesn't have that pop-star image either.
When the dust has settled, Blake will move more records, so I guess he'll be the real winner.
15 of 22 | Posted by NateTheOkay
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Posted on May 23, 2007 1:48 PM
'Fess up, Flipit, which BlakerGirl's picture did you steal to get that "I voted" thing at the end? Someone from here, right?
"Sitting on the dock of the gay" made me choke on my bong hit.
LOVE YOU FLIPIT!
16 of 22 | Posted by brendahamLincoln
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:14 PM
THANKS you guys. brendaham, that was taken back when I voted for Dukakis.
Any special plans for the finale tonight? You know it's gonna be craptacular. Can't wait. LOVE
17 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:28 PM
Screencap: Blake's Future = Cruise Ship Nightmares
Dear Flipit, to whom do I send the bill for my new keyboard and monitor? There is a fine sheen of Coke Zero all over mine now, because of that.
And Dearest Flipit: YOU+HELLS KITCHEN IN JUNE!!! PLEASE! Do not leave this to a lesser god!
18 of 22 | Posted by killbondnow
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Posted on May 23, 2007 4:46 PM
My plans for tonight: a cool buzz and tasty waves. And I mean airwaves. I was thinking of crashing the big viewing party in Glendale, but I'm afraid the first snicker or snide comment about Jordin's phony attitude would bring down the wrath of a thousand soccer moms and 11 year old girls. And as ugly as they are, those crocs shoes hurt to get hit with. They're just glorified nana chanclas.
killbondnow, I think flipit should recap EVERY show, but he's already gonna do Top Chef, I don't think he can handle G-Ram on top of that. Oh, if only I had talent, I'd do it!
19 of 22 | Posted by brendahamLincoln
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Posted on May 23, 2007 5:17 PM
bLarf...
Wth was that? If that wasn't a dud of final two, I don't know what one is. I knew Blake wouldn't stand a chance with that last song when I heard the title. I guess I was hoping too much that they'd try to make it a little exciting.
I loved the "You call that an eye f-ck" caption. I was thinking the same thing. I feel dirty though... and not the good way. :-(
20 of 22 | Posted by raggedy_andy
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Posted on May 23, 2007 11:53 PM
Flipit..please recap Hells Kitchen! That is my summer reality show indulgence, and you would just make it so much better!
21 of 22 | Posted by Cary
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Posted on May 25, 2007 9:04 AM
thanks, cary! i am recapping top chef this summer. treadingonme will be doing hell's kitchen. thanks for thinkin of me :)
22 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 25, 2007 9:55 AM