Ryan tells us that by 9am, San Diego pulled 12,000 hopefuls. 11,972 of whom will never make it past today. First in line is Tatiana Ostopovish. Italian, I think. She tells the judges she's super excited and will be singing "Someone to Watch Over Me." She nails it, as most cute girls they feature do, and Paula seems... disenchanted.

Or is that a lazy eye?

Simon tells her she isn't as good as she thinks she is. Ooh! Someone woke up on the sassy side of the bed today! They tell her she's in and, for some reason, Ryan jogs down the hallway with her. Seriously, you get MORE than enough facetime broseph. Step off.

Next up we have our first sappy story of the night. A cute little girl tells us her Papi is going to be the next American Idol. Sure, sweetheart. Dare to dream. Perry Cataldo is from Arizona and introduces us to.. his SON?! Well that, sir, is a bold faced lie. Anywhoodle, Perry tells us he is a single father because his wife left them in January 2005. According to Perry, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people doing the wrong things. Ohhhh.... Cancer. It'll get ya.

How tragic to force "Boys on the Side" on a child...

He tells us he's cleaned up his act which I think means he started slicking his and his daughter's hair back and buying them matching chains. Actually, he used to be quite the bad boy himself. He was arrested a few years back for carrying a concealed weapon into the bar he had just had been kicked out of for fighting. DUDE, PERRY! You were totally going to shoot someone! How horribly badass! I mean, wrong and inappropriate...

When he gets in front of the judges he knocks out a little "I'll Make Love to You" by Boys II Men. Whatever happened to Boys II Men? They spurred my sexual growth in middle school!

The judges love it. Paula shakes her head slowly, Randy snaps along, and Simon smirks. He was great and heading to Hollywood. I hope his daughter knows how to cook herself breakfast.

Next up we have a 28 year old Aussie who sings an Otis Redding favorite "I've Been Loving You A Little Too Long" and I swoon my pants off. Michael, questions: 1- where have you been all my life? And 2- can I have an article of worn clothing?

I'm a sucker for an accent...

A man in a ruffled shirt sounds like he's deaf, a skinny boy squeals and Randy laughs in his face, and a crazy looking girl makes some noises you would expect to hear on that Yoga DVD you bought and have yet to take the plastic off because buying it was good enough intentions for you to have bought yourself a couple more months of not working out. Not that I would know anything about that...

Ryan tells us what we need is something new, something fresh, someone like, Mariah Carey. That's funny Ryan, because the two words I would chose to describe Mariah Carey would be stale and old. Valerie Reyes is a plump girl who doesn't really look anything like Mariah and tells us she's going to be the next American Idol. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, eh Gasmii? She has a hard core girl-crush on Mariah and tells us that she'll be singing her tunes out loud walking down the street (you know, like the crazies on the L that you avoid direct eye contact with?). Allegedly, people will stop her and say "woah, did you like, have Mariah playing?" and she'll say "no. That was me." And I swear to you, she says it with the most serious face I am fairly certain she's paid people to ask her that before, because after the audition I'm pretty sure no one ever has seriously.

If anything, it was probably a form of "who sings that song? Lets keep it that way, zing!"

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Posted in American Idol by Pachita at 3:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: angie on Jan 25, 2008 08:46 AM.