Hey gasmii. I posted this about an hour ago before realizing I had accidentally not saved the last four contestants. DUMBASS.

Thanks for your patience, and thanks QueenV for clueing me in.

HEART

PHEW. I was afraid with all the changes around here, there wasn't going to be an Idol recap. Thank the good lord for Flipit.

I agree - Brandon should go. Even though Haley forgot her words too, I kind of admired her for being real and kind of breaking down after she screwed up. Better to react like a real person than pretend that your performance was just fine.

Sligh needs to bring glassesback (yeah). His face looked too small without them. In other style news, Phil needs to either grow a little fuzz on his head or lighten his freaking eyebrows because he scared me when he was yelling "I'm gonna MAAAAAKE you love me!" He has a decent voice but his look doesn't match it.

Like the rest of America, I like Mel-Doo and KiKi, but I bet one of them will go home early this season (a la JHud) because their styles are so similar and the votes will get split between them, with one on the short end of the stick.

wait, what heppend to b side? :(

he's dead. you haven't heard?

Sligh looks like Grimace without the glasses.

oh schoonie you're so cruel. i love it.

i think brandon's a goner. i really hope haley gets better because i love her.

Flipit
no need to be nervous, that was a very funny recap! I loved the banter between Ryan and Seacrest. Ryan should have come "out of the closet" long time ago. he is not fooling anyone. Oh, and either Brandon or Gina is going home. Sanjaya is not going anywhere. He has a country of about 1 Billion people behind him (India). They would love to have the first Indian "American Idol".

hes not dead.....................omg is he

mags,

B-Side left to travel to London. When he comes back he is focusing on screen writing opportunities that have opened up for him.

MYL

To me, Phil looks like that funky squeeze toy, the one that if you squeeze it, the eyes and ears pop out. You know, one of those Martian Poppers (http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/opg_1941_18769588).

Some favorite moments in a kind of dull evening:
- "Pronunciate"?? Ms. Ross, even Paula got that right (enunciate)
- Melinda and LaKisha: great renditions of songs I didn't know.
- Paula telling Gina that "Lovechild" is a feel-good song. Have you ever listened to the lyrics, Paula?

FlipIt, great recap! Lots of out-loud laughs for me, especially with "Diana hugs her and Gina farts."

ahhh good, at least hes not dead

sorry, im gullible

ok american idol..... i really liked this recap flipit, a lot, it made me laugh.

and i completly think ryan is gay

haha he would be tink the twink

Brandon and Sanjaya suck, but they don't really bother me. They both seem nice, so whatever.

Phil, however, bothers me on levels I can barely articulate. I hate the sight of him, I think he sings like my cat when I step on her tail, and I would rather listen to Abdul's incoherent ramblings for an entire hour than even 1 minute of Phil Stacey. That dude sucks ass, looks like ass, acts like ass. I bet he smells like ass, too. Ew to Phil Stacey. Just ew.

I can't believe people thinking Chris R is the Justin ripoff when Blake is there, stealing JTs act and passing off as his own every week. Dude, the beatboxing was done on NSync's "No Strings Attached" tour, and Justin does those James Brown/Michael Jackson moves way better than you. And Flock of Seagulls would really appreciate it if you gave back their synthesizer. Original and fresh? Maybe if this were 1982. Plus, he looks like Ellen Degeneres and Mike Booger had a kid. He's my 2nd most hated.

I could go on, but I'll save some bile for next week.

Okay, first off all its SunDANCE not SunSHINE. FYI.

Overall, good recap. I do miss B-Side more than I should, but that's a different story. I felt last night was really boring. In no way does this season even compare to last season, in my opinion.

Sanjaya needs to go, now. He is awful!

anybody doing a House MD recap? =[

bahahahahahha 'sunshine' made me lol

*slits writs for saying lol*

Add my kudos as well to ya flipit - very funny and very quick recap - fills in the time waiting for TAR recaps. Laughed out loud with your great insights - keep the good work going and I'll vote for you every week.

Okay - Phil Stacey really, really scares me. I can't decide if he looks more like Gollum or one of the people in those Cancer Treatment Centers of America commercials. His voice is okay (not my style tho') but I actually cringe when I see him...he strikes me as a tad smug too.

LOVE Melinda. She is my fave of perhaps all the seasons of Idol.

Kiki rocked in that dress too last nite.

Had such high hopes for Blake and he just didn't impress last nite.

Oh well - I think Brandon is going home tonight too, tho wouldn't surprise me if a slight shocker and Stephanie goes - that love hangover tease really p.o.'d me...but then again I still think I'm in a gay disco, ca. 1978 some nites...

fb22

hb- where are you?

i hate that phil guy

he looks like a giant penis

Great recap flipit...I laughed out loud several times.

Why,oh why, are we subjected to listening to Sanjaya sing every week? Honestly, if he doesn't go home this week I think I will scratch my ears until they bleed because that would be better than listening to him next week.

Two hours seems like a ridiculous amount of time for this show when there are only 2 people (Kiki and Doolittle) in this competition.

I'm glad you picked this recap up because I was worried with B-Side leaving. I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next week.

P.S. Phil Stacey's eyebrows creep me out!

Flipit, you are the ONLY one left here that I would want to read a recap of AI from. You, my man, rock....
We all have those feelings about B-Side but we do have to go on and you are bringing us along in style...
I just imagine you recap after recap sitting in your bed rewinding and writing..rewinding.... do you use your livingroom at all?

It is nice to have it so quick and well done, but with the kick off show tonight I guess you had to turn it fast... don't have a breakdown....

Great recap and my money is on Brandon taking the leap into the flames tonight.

Hi Flipit, I just wanted to say that I love all of your recaps and was so happy you did AI. You make me laugh SO HARD! I miss B-side, but I think you're hilarious.

Am I the only one who thought that Sligh's version of 'Endless Love' was really good? (minus the coldplay like openning). Sligh is, in my opinion, one of the best male contestants ever on AI, and it's really too bad that Doolittle and Lakisha is (unintentionally) stealing his spotlight. He's so underrated, and the judges are too hard on him. Reminds me of Anthony Fedorov from season 4.

I also think Doolittle is WAY better than Lakisha. She just seems like a watered down whitney wannabe. Don't get me wrong, she's a very good singer, but in terms of originality, she has none. Doolittle on the other hand. I mean, do I even have to say anything about her? She's the best idol contestant since Fantasia.

If Sanjaya remains, I'm going to scream and bash a lamp through my television. He ws good in the auditions, WTF happened?!

Great recap Flipit!

roleepolee-really? Anthony Federov? REALLY?? I don't remember him being able to carry a tune, but Chris Sligh can, so it seems a weird that you would compare the two. I do think his rendition of Endless Love was way better than the original.
Flipit your recaps are worth reading, I laughed out loud more than a few times! AI is NOT worth watching. i was bored as hell last night. Then i realized it's cause Diana Ross's music is boring as hell. The only good song is Reflections (which she didn't write anyway, much like most of her music)and no one sang it. Maybe it'll be better next week.

Well done, Flipit! I especially enjoy all of your jokes implying you're a compulsive overeater.

Between this and VM, you're quickly becoming my favorite recapper on the site!

Here is my take on last week and this week:

Sunshine - out because the first week he sang “yewwww” like Pikleher did last year….a second week performance didn’t pull his ass out of the fire….he never recovered. Too bad, because his wife was kinda next door girl hot.

Jared – I want to keep calling him Jarhead…and that’s not right. He was too Gumble for me. Just quit smiling and sing…too late. He’s done.

Antonella – Another “too bad”, she was hot. Unfortunately, it is a singing competition and lack of pipes only gets femmy girlie haired pre-pube boys in the dance. Right, Sanny? The only upshot to her staying was more naked photos appearing….DAMN YOU AMERICAN PUBLIC!!

Sabrina – NO SHE DI’INNT…..yup she is gone….classic if only for the tongue in O face she gave as she was axed….She thought she had it won too early for her to survive…go back to the Hilton party and complain.

Now the final 12:

Gina – God help me…I LUV her! She can’t really sing all that great, but she reminds me of that girl in college I wanted to date because she would put out….you know…the one that thought I was a tard. She won’t last too much longer, though.

Haley – She figured it out….if you can’t sing well…*cough…Pickler…cough* …show your boobs! She’s too good looking to axed right away….she’s got a few more weeks.

Balke – Still looking for Cousin Larry…..Is beat-boxing a skill? He sucks with a capital “F”. It is standard for short guys to dress like Metrosexuals?

Brandon – Trying hard to be cool….he’s a band nerd…you can see him in a uniform, can’t you? Voice is whiney….and he looks like if Webster and Nadia from Season 4 had a love child. That’s just plain wrong.

Jordin – She has the McFeever that Kat had at the beginning….she will do well. McSparks? Can’t fault her for being bubbly….she exudes talent….finals bound.

KiKi – Excellent voice, but I agree she will be Mandisa-ized – 4th place

Chris Timberlake– Can he be getting any more gay? (Not that there is anything wrong with that)…He doesn’t seem to have an original bone in his body. Even young girls are starting to think he’s creepy, not dreamy. Mcgone….

Chris Sloth – I like him for an underdog…but last night he blew a big goose egg. I couldn’t even tell if he was singing endless love or Copa Cabana….Just wait until that Bennet kid from last year that loved Manilow gets hold of him! Needs to sing a song that has meat and a little sadness….that’s his niche.

Mel D – She is the front runner, but her (I agree) “what me….am I that good?” face is really, really, really, really, really old……really. Save if for the acceptance speech, baby. You are good….*prayer hands*…just cheer, Torrance, just cheer…

Stephanie – girl version of Timberlake…only Beyonce….we have that be”once” already….hopefully gone soon.

Phil – I want him to do well, but he bugs me. Seems like he is one bad song from ending up on the Alien 3 (or 4?) episode on the prison planet. He is not as good as he needs to be….he ain’t no Sanjaya…

Sanj"I can't sing like a guy"uh – wow….and he is still here because……?
His hair can’t save him…..I think that he should have done a tight afro for Diana to remind her more of MJ….course then she would have had to remember farther back than last Thursday. Bring his sister back…she could sing and was hot….for right now he gets the quicky mart vote….did I say that?.....wake up folks….can you here him now?....how about now?......still?......now?......the only way he redeems himself is to drop out on his own accord.

As for the judges:

Dog….trying to be tougher…needed to be…doing ok

Paula….get the stick…c’mon girl….get the stick….

Simon…..same…good….needs to be there

Yay, Flipit is recapping something I watch!

I miss B-Side more than I think could be called normal but if anyone call fill his shoes, you can.

Please, God, make Sanjaya go home. And I know I'm alone but I don't like the JT wannabe either. Or Phil Stacy.

I say lets just give it to Melinda and be done with it.

Ryan -- why would any of us want to go into your closet? Besides, I think the door is locked and you have swallowed (ahem) the key. We are all aware of your persuasion and there is nothing wrong with that.

Now for the show:

Melinda is great ... but when is someone going to tell her she needs to stop dressing like a matronly school teacher? For real -- she needs a different stylist other than her friends who lay out her outfits for her.

Some of these contestants might actually start playing an A-game if they weren't aware they only had to perform better than one other person. Perhaps they should start telling them on performance night that if they don't get an X-number of votes they will be going home -- let's do away with the one-a-week quota. We might actually see some performances this way.

How bad is it that Brandon sang a song that was performed better by Carmen Rasmussen?!?

Blake performed a song with an EXCELLENT track record on AI. "You Keep Me Hanging On" was performed twice before on this show -- by Vanessa Olivarez in season 2 the week she got sent home and again in season 3 by Leah Labelle the week she got sent home! And I have to add ... each of these contestants performed this song on WEEK 1!!! Hello Blake!?! How do people NOT learn on this show? That was a rather unbecoming screencap of Blake's family -- didn't the band 311 take some slack for having a racist name (which is his "favorite" band) and now his family hails Blake as if he is the next fuhrer. Blake was likable at one time ...

I cannot look at Phil Stacey which is unfortunate because he does have a nice voice (which I hate admitting to). He honestly does look sickly ... which doesn't help on this show since he is NOT really sick. Perhaps he is trying for some sympathy votes from idiots.

I wish Stephanie were as good as she was during Week 1. She gives off a LaToya London vibe to me and I don't think she'll last long. When Randy was critiqing her and mentioned her forgetting some of the lyrics she looked cold and less likely to fess up to it than President Bush admiting some of his faults. You'd think she was just told she was awful.

Sligh's "stylist" must have been the same person who told Taylor Hicks to color his hair last season.

Sanjayugh ... he has a nice voice ("nice" not good) but he is so high school talent show. The cruel people over at VotefortheWorst.com are backing him so expect him to have a Scott Savol-like run into the top half of the competition.

It is actually unfortunate for all of these contestants this year because the show is already won by either Melinda or LaKisha. Jordin Sparks shines (and was quite a stunner this week) but she has absolutely no chance unless the masses get tired of the two front-runners.

I have no idea how America will vote but I'm thinking Brandon since he hasn't lived up to the judges's expectations yet. But it is up to American so ...

I just loved how stupid the studio audience proved to be last night. Paula slapped EVERY single one of them in the face last night with her "they don't know anything" remark and the audience ate it up and loved it since it sounded like a positive comment to a singer (seriously -- they are so F'n stupid).

Speaking of Paula, am I the ONLY person who thinks she makes sense this year? She isn't crazy or manic and she has actually spoken intelligently several times. I am thinking the "Crazy-Paula" jokes are so-last season.

Is it just me or did the "Ryan, come out of the closet" dialogue seem staged and prepared? When you look - Paula and Randy's reaction is mild to none. Unless they hear Simon and Ryan going at it constantly and it is old news for them.

Anyway, Flipit - really great recap! I liked it!

Absolutely hysterical recap for an absolutely boring episode of Idol. Your screencaps/captions were hilarious!

If I had my way, the bottom 3 would be Sanjaya (who my family calls Mowgli, like from the Jungle Book,) Haley and Brandon.
But since this is American Idol and not Alison Idol, I bet all of these craptacular singers will stick around to torture us for another week.

I hope Brandon or Sanjaya go home tonight. I LIKED Chris' "Endless Love" rendition.

Great recap, Flipit!!

gina! can't you take a hint. take out the stupid tongue piercing. that is why you can't enunciate.

sonjala, give it up... just put on a dress and get it over with.

cdrivanova: "Pronunciate"?? Ms. Ross, even Paula got that right (enunciate)

I totally meant to mention that too! How many times did Diana say "pro-nun-ci-ate", and she enunciated it so clearly! Ahh, the ironing is delicious.

Brandon shaved his chest. Lost half his cuteness and what little talent he sometimes showed.

Thanks Flipit for stepping up and taking on American Idol. I think you are the perfect choice. I too was wondering what was going to happen this week with all the changes and such.

Everytime I see Phil he reminds me of Nosferatu.

Funny recap!

Good catch, cdrivanova (#10) -- I can't believe Diana said "Pronunciate" and even "Pronunciation."

Isn't it tragic that no one ever told La Ross that those words don't exist?

Isn't it mysterious that Paula *did* know the correct term?

All those songs sounded like they were put through a bland filter. Gah! Sorely lacking in Psycho-Spector-style wall of sound and layered production.

I don't think Seacrest is gay; remember him scoping out that contestant's bum in the low-extra-low rider jeans? In any case, he's takes all the ribbing with good humour.

Sanjaya should go, that girl can't sing a note. She'd be a good hair model, maybe garnier fructis needs a new spokesgirl?

I love how Miss Ross is so professional. Its a far cry from when she was doing the VH1 Divas Live show.....

Anyway, I think that Haley chick is trying to be the next Katherine McPhee, exact same hair and wardrobe stylist.

That Chris guy really is awful. His voice is very irritating. Maybe he'll stay longer if naked pics appear on the net?

KH

Oh, and did anyone else get the feeling that those "Master Classes" with La Ross lasted all of 15 mins, tops?

Good first recap, flipit. You sure have a wealth of material to work with this season!

Hey, Die_MediaWhore - your description of Blake the poser made me LOL...especially the Flock of Seagulls reference! But Blake is only your 2nd most hated? He become my #1 last week when, in his little video intro, he introduced his "comedy" routine by saying "This is one of the characters that I do..." (Meaning that he has a whole repetoire of those "funny" faces!) I think his voice is weak and that he does the beatboxing and dancing to cover that up.

Well... I was completely oblivious to B-Side leaving. I suck. :( Oh well... Life goes on. Just kinda sucks there was no recap for the Top 16 shows & results where I could post my thoughts. Guess you'll all just have to be in the dark about my opinions you don't care about! :D Suffice to say: I think all 8 guys were major victims of song choice, Melinda was a shotgun blast to all 7 other girls, and Sabrina & Sundance should be here instead of Haley Sucknato and Suckjaya Malakar.

Anyway, Diana Ross week was absolutely painful. I partially blame the fact that it's DIANA ROSS WEEK (anyone remember last year's Top 12 show? Poor Stevie), but also that several of the contestants didn't feel like following her advice, or just plain sucked. I have 6 positive marks. That's HALF the contestants, ugh. Individual thoughts:

Brandon Rogers - Sucked. All of it. And he manages to forget the words, even. I thought incorrectly that he was eliminated 2 weeks ago, but THIS might finally spell his doom. He's been on a steady decline. His voice sounds okay in some parts of the song, and that just helps show his problem: His voice has not interesting. It's good, but he has no star factor, especially when he screws up the song to boot.

Melinda Doolittle - Still showing why she's the best vocalist in Idol history. "My Funny Valentine" is still my favorite performance, but she definitely was all over this song. I can't imagine her EVER having a bad performance this whole year.

Chris Sligh - Damnit... My first bad mark for Chris. I like Chris. Chris is great. This performance wasn't. I don't like Coldplay, and even though Chris sounded good for most of the song, the arrangement and the style killed him. No thanks.

Gina Glocksen - Barely a positive mark. She likely could have been a lot better, but Simon pretty much got it right when he said she's prone to shouting, and that the performance was in the middle, just "okay." Nothing much else I can really say.

Sanjaya Malakar - Horrible. I still sort of like Sanjaya, and I can identify with the fact that his voice is just fine, nice and in-tune and all. But like Brandon, he has no boom factor to his voice, or even his stage presence. And like Brandon, he just plain screwed up the performance. Bad song.

Haley Scarnato - Ugh. Sickeningly bad. Her voice actually managed to find some notes toward the end, but it still was off, and the whole rest of the song was total crap, AND she forgets the words! And America passed on Sabrina for her? God damnit all of you. I was actually very surprised by the fact that Simon chose to comment her (rightfully) on her stage presence rather than going the obvious route and tearing her ten new assholes. He didn't even mention how bad she was at the song! Has he been into Paula's meds?

Phil Stacey - Interesting song choice, but his voice hit a lot of the notes and sounded pretty good. Sadly, he is my only positive mark for the guys. That's a little crazy. I was bored, sure, but he can sing good at least.

LaKisha Jones - Easily her best performance so far. It was very good that she kept it controlled rather than belting it out with her powerful voice. Definitely did the song justice and put a bright spot in another wise bleak night.

Blake Lewis - Um... Well he sounded okay, but the entire song arrangement just sounded completely wrong. I was confused like Simon was. I don't think he should take anymore major liberties with songs like this.

Stephanie Edwards - Like Gina, this one is barely passing. The arrangement of the song sort of killed her, but she sang it well like always. She just needs to step her game back up so she can be in Melinda and LaKisha's league again.

Chris Richardson - This is the exact reason I hate the crap out of him. God-awful performance, that's all.

Jordin Sparks - At least we had a great performance to end the night, ay? Probably not the best song choice in the world, but she rocked it nicely and got a very big compliment from Randy. She deserves it.

So yeah. Meh. Phil is the only guy to get a positive score out of me, and most obviously, Melinda shotgunned all the girls as usual, though LaKisha and Jordin were great to no surprise. I think the bottom three is gonna be Brandon, Haley, and Chris Sligh or Blake, which would definitely be interesting. I really want Haley Scarnato to go home (this year's Melissa, teehee), but something tells me she just might beat out Brandon in the voting, if only because of Simon's good comments.

Great recap, Flipit. Don't be too nervous about being a successor to B-Side, I much enjoyed your write-up, you're very funny. :) The Nazi pic was very funny in particular to me.

I thought you screwed up the recap and left out the last 4, but then I checked again, and it was good. I hope B-Side has a good trip to London. Anyways, I think the bottom 3 will be Haley, Brandon, and Black Ozzy, with Brandon getting the Daughtry send-off.

Flipit! I love you more now! You bring the lol's when you do the Top Design recaps, and you certainly brought them with your AI recap. You are now one of my favorite people ever, next to John Waters and my mom.

I purposely missed most of this episode because Diana Ross songs are boring as hell, and I hate almost every contestant, so boring + hate = me watching a VH1 marathon of AMTM. I tuned in right as Chris R. was making ears and eyes bleed across the country. God, he sucks.

Oh yeah, Flipit was dead on with the reasons he dislikes Gina so much. I completely agree with all of that. #31, heehaw, pointed out another reason for me to hate on Gina, the stupid tongue stud. Take it out, it does not look professional, it looks like you're ready to spend your hard earned money at Hot Topic. Also, she sang an evanesence song last week, and I don't know nor care if I spelled that right. There are 2 things I hate in this world, that shitty band and people who sing their songs at karaoke. Since I consider AI to be glorified karaoke, Gina falls into that second category. Go home already.

Am I mistaken, or was the results show moved this year? I thought they used to be on Thursday nights.

this is my first post and i think flipit ~ you have the best recaps out of everyone trying to take over his shows. very funny!

If simon cowell is threatening to quit if Sanjaya wins, Im shocked to hear there ist an uprising for the vote for the worst type of campaign. Kinda like the baldwin threatening to move to canada if Bush won in 2000.

Brendaham Lincoln, lmao!!!!!!

Curvewatcher...your post was the most painful thing for me to read in recent memory.

I didn't even watch this week (I had to work) but I really feel bad for Sanjaya. He seems like a really good kid, so it's kinda hard to watch him get ripped apart every week.

great recap, but you totally lost me when you said Chris R was a good singer.
What on earth are you smoking to EVER think that this guy can sing???
I haven't heard a single note come out of his mouth that has been onkey yet.
Actually I should say.. I haven't heard a single note come out of his NOSE....

He's worse than Ace was last year, and unfortuantly.. all of the people that were drooling over Ace's greasy lockes last year are drooling over the lemon-headed Chris R this year.

Shollia--- he is smoking Mary Jane.... you got a problem with that?

roleepolee, I also really like sligh's version of endless love. and i too thought federov was underrated. i hope sligh goes far.

I agree that Chris R. is horrible. We have a pool at work on who will get voted out each week, and my best friend thinks that he will win the whole thing! It made me a little upset she was my friend when I saw that.

In other news, I saw B-side this morning on the Today show, talking about AI nonetheless and how this Vote for the Worst website is really catching on. It made me love him even more.

I saw B-side on the Today show, too. It was very cool!

"My tummy lips smiled."

HA! You are hilarious, flipit. Looks like some B-side replacement recaps are still going to be very funny...can't say the same for a different one I read the other day...

Flipit you're hilarious. You will definately keep the torch going for B-Side. Tummy smile,Powder,morning pee, just stop it, or my appendix is going to explode. Keep it coming. You know who Sanjaya reminds me of...Justin from Ugly Betty but 1,000x worse. I will tune in every single week if Justin was on the show. Now that's a showman. All the boys need to get kicked out. They all suck.

Great recap. I really like your goofy style.