Thanks for the Ace pic, Quidam!! HEART
I mean CHOOCH!!! Not remembering your porn supplier is seriously bad form. sorry. I owe you a Coke.
**edited

What, no video of Ryan Seacrest making the jerk-off motion onstage? (While talking to Chris S. about Simon taking the mic.) How disappointing - it was a classic moment.

Great recap, Flipit. I agree with everything pretty much - Blake could not hit those high notes to save his life (he should have just done them falsetto) and he looks a little dead in the eyes when he's singing. I know this isn't Top Model, but he needs to connect with the camera a little more.

Jordin was awesome, LaKisha was kinda boring, I just want to push Melinda's shoulders DOWN, and you're absolutely right-on with Gina's "rock" persona. I don't get Chris R's appeal - his voice is nasally and I don't see how that was such a great vocal last night. I don't like Justin Timberlake for his slow songs, so spare us the ballads from now on, please.

Haley - there's this rule with fashion where you're supposed to show either leg OR cleavage, not both at the same time. I'm counting your entire back as cleavage in this case, so go knee-length or turtleneck next time please, so I stop feeling bad about myself and eating my feelings.

Ummm who else? Powder still freaks me out (please tone down the eyebrows or put on a hat!), Sanjaya made me feel extremely uncomfortable and that little girl made me feel even more uncomfortable. I like Sligh even though he's been breathy lately - I agree, he should just stand there and sing his chubby heart out. Since I forgot about Stephanie and the judges weren't so positive with her, she's my pick to go.

I promise this is the last thing - does anyone else hate when Seacrest asks the contestants awkward questions about the judges' comments? Like the whole thing with Gina - he kept putting her in a weird place where she could either defend herself or offend the judges. Just read the phone numbers, little man.

pbjunkie, I thought my head was in the gutter and I imagined that. So glad you brought it up.

Flipit, great recap. Haley's bangin body (who knew?) will keep her ever so safe this week. Bottom three are going to be Stephanie, Sanjaya and Penishead Phil, and Phil will deservedly go home.

P.S. how could you not mention that shot of Sanjaya's smokin' hot sister in the audience in her low-cut "Team Sanjaya" t-shirt, displaying her most impressive rack. Why oh why didn't she make the cut instead of her pathetic brother?

Speaking of Sanjaya, I have to say I enjoyed his performance in all its awfulness. He was terrible, but damned if I wasn't entertained by it! It was fun watching a guy who has pretty much accepted that he sucks and doesn't give a shit anymore. It was good enough to stay another week, as there is no way Phil has any kind of fan base, and certainly not the young girls who do most of the voting.

Great recap, flipit!
Sanjaya can't sing, and throwing himself around onstage doesn't make him sound any better.
Paul sober isn't any fun.
Go Lulu!!

Am I the only person who is terribly bored with Melinda? I mean, yeah, she's professional, good voice, yadda yadda, but she bores the hell out me!

I meant Paula. Geesh, I can spell.

Come on Flipit - no mention of "Hi Dave!"?

Overall an ok recap - you've had better nights though.

pbjunkie...couldn't agree more! I couldn't wait to read the recap after seeing that last night, and much to my disappointment, no mention at all. Didn't Simon even kind of say that he would talk to him about something at the break...that's gotta be what he waas talking about.

Simon looked like he was gonna scratch Peter Noone's eyes out!

And who was that crying girl?? I'll feel bad if she was a Make-A-Wish kid, but it seemed like she cried harder when the camera was on her.

Awesome recap, Flipit.

You deserve so much better than Top Design (which, sadly, I cannot bear to watch anymore); finally you have some real material to work with!

This is one of the best recaps ever. It was so funny and you pick up on almost every noteworthy happening. It was like I was reliving it all.

Well today was FAR better than I thought it would be. A big surprise, pretty much like 50s Week last year. Old songs = Awesome, apparantly. With only two exceptions, and one of them was not Haley! Crap! Here were my individual thoughts:

Haley Scarnato - Surprisingly, she actually did a good job, even if it was still boring and I still hate her. She might just squeeze through to the Top 10 now, sadly. :/ Oh well.

Chris Richardson - He also did surprisingly well with a good song choice, but I still hate the crap out of his nasal Timberlake voice. It's not nice to listen to. At all. Brandon was better to listen to even when he tanked.

Stephanie Edwards - She still sounds great, but the song could have been sung a lot better. She continues to sort of sink a little every week... I'd hate for her to be surpassed by much worse singers like Sabrina was.

Blake Lewis - Good ol' Blake. Much better arrangement than last week, this time he really worked. It wasn't world-shattering, but I liked it. He's Blake! Weee!

LaKisha Jones - Surprisingly, not a very strong night for her. I think she should have picked the other song she was torn on, because she sounded good, but the song was not a very good choice.

Phil Stacey - This was a fun little performance. I like the song, and Phil did it just fine, plus it was an interesting song choice for him. I'm afraid Simon's comments may doom him, however.

Jordin Sparks - Knocked it out of the park here. She definitely chose a big song as everyone said, but she was simply fantastic! She's quickly surpassed Stephanie and the fallen Sabrina now, which is not as surprising as one would think.

Sanjaya Malakar - Props for surprising all of us with the song choice, but it was one of the worst things I've ever seen on this show. I don't know why Randy and Paula liked it, and I'm very surprised Simon didn't tear him several assholes and just let him get off with a single almost confusing comment.

Gina Glockson - Ick... That just didn't work at all. She sounded a lot better when she was singing in front of Lulu, but on stage, she pretty much tanked the performance and yelled off-key a lot. I didn't like it much at all.

Chris Sligh - I loved how he spent extended time in the crowd, actually. I say it was another good performance and solid vocal from him, even if the high notes sounded a little off once or twice in my ears, especially toward the end. Also, he has balls the size of planets for shouting out to VFTW.

Melinda Doolittle - I'm not sure if I dig the new haircut, but once again, she's knocking up another 12/10 performance and shotgunning everyone else in the competition. She's just nuts!

Yeah... Very surprising week after the train wreck we saw last Tuesday. If I had to guess who is in the bottom 3, it could be anyone, but I'm thinking Phil, Gina, and Stephanie could land in it, with Sanjaya and Haley as other possibilities. I could very well see Phil eliminated this week, but here's hoping it's Sanjaya, ay? Or hell, could they disqualify Chris Sligh unjustly for his shoutout? You never know.

Great recap, Flipit. :) I never noticed the "Chubby" sign so thanks for screencapping it! I got a nice laugh.

Does anyone know what was on Phil Stacey's shirt last night? When they did the parade o' idols at the beginning of the night, I thought it might be sweat, but it was still there during his song an hour or so later. It looked like he was repairing his car right before he went onstage and had to wipe his oily, greasy hands on the front of the shirt. It's not like it could be hair goop from running his hands through his hair. heehee Plus, if you watched his performance, he kept feeling up his chest in the same area that the marks were. By about a quarter of the way through the song, I totally started obsessing about it and dammit, I still can't stop thinking about it. This is pathetic.

Seacrest was so gay-ed out tonight, especially his Blake hug and dancing. Also, Seacrest saying 'who's your daddy'? C'mon! This is great.

Phil Stacey frightens me. Anyone else?

KH

oh i remember i forgot lakisha...um, i thought she did good but maybe she should have sang the song lulu wanted her too. Usually when people don't take the advice given them it doesnt work out well

Hey Smoke_Rulz or Jairocon (or anyone else who may know): Can you point me to when/what specifically Chris S said? I heard him say "Hi Dave" and then he kept repeating "Fro Patro" (ha -- funny once). But I never caught the VFTW shoutout or why it's bad to say hi to Dave??? I must rewatch the Tivo.

Okay, I am officially convinced that Gina reads the 'Gasm, my comments about her in particular, and has decided to make me hate her with a voracity that has no equal on this earth. You succeeded, you poseur. I hate you so bad. How dare you ruin such an awesome song? The nerve of some people! God, I just want her to be hit by a truck or something. Bitch can't sing rock songs. Get over it, you're not a rocker no matter how much dye is in your hair. Maybe if she had like, neon green bangs and shaved the rest of her hair off, I'd be a little easier on her. But then of course, she'd still be signing shit like evanescennesenseerece (whatevs) and wearing stupid clothes. So no dice!

Hmm, what else? I still hate the people I hated last week (Haley, Chris R., and Blake) and still laugh uncontrollably at Sanjaya, even without the weepy little girls. On a side note about that, I heard my mom laughing in the other room and during a commercial break, I went to see what she was up to, she was laughing at the little girl. It's nice to know my mom is as heartless as we all are.

Dude, I thought Sanjaya rocked out with his cock out. Everyone just hates him so they will never say anything good about him no matter what he does.

Why is Haley in this competition? Seriously, why? Who is voting for her?

You know, I don't think Melinda is ugly at all. Interesting-looking, yes. Maybe a little strange looking, but I don't think she's ugly.

I HATE GINA GLOCKSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, I can sort of understand why she's in the competition. Why is Haley in the competition?

Jordin rocks. I just wish Seacrest wouldn't ask her questions. Because she's annoying. And I don't want to listen to her talk.

Why is Haley in this competition??!?!

sorry for missing the "dickmove", gasmii. i will have a video for you in the next recap. love

Love the last pic with the crying girl in Paula's seat... I almost peed.

i found this site only a month or so ago and am HOOKED (in a scary, cracky way)

i had to sign up so i could post that this is the funniest recap i've read on here so far...and trust me, i've had a ton of free time this past month.

hm.

Here's the seacrest jerk off video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ--U5ddNdI

Flipit, I have to give you props for making American Idol so hysterically funny now that you're recapping it! I think this past episode was one of the funniest EVER!!

First off, I think it's ingenious of you to give Ryan Seacrest the nickname "Tink" - kudos!! Yeah, and why was he wearing two mics?

As soon as Haley came out and shook her ASSets for Simon (and I saw him eyeing her up like the perv he IS) I knew she was going to get his stamp of approval - and that he would remember her name - FINALLY! Who knew the girl had such a great body? She was definitely making that double-stick tape work overtime with all that boob-jiggling!

Chris R. picked a sucky song. There were many better songs he could have sung but he chose a boring one - but he did nail it.

I think Stephanie picked "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" because she thought Dusty Springfield was black. In fact, all of the black girls had to sing a song from a black singer, did anyone else notice that? The reason I think she fell flat was because someone must have told her before she went out on stage that Dusty is in fact, white. HAHAHAHA

Blake is hot but he needs to grow and upper lip. I was glad to see that he finally sang a song that he could incorporate the beatboxing into. Tink needs to back off of my Blake!

LaKisha's song was boring and I think she should have taken Lushy LuLu's advice and sang the other song. I know now why Paula was so sober, they had to cater to the guest mentor, Lushy LuLu and give her all of Paula's stash... That bitch...

Jordin was friggin' awesome!! I love her eyebrow thing that she does!

Sanjaya was a train wreck but a very entertaining train wreck!! When they panned out to that little girl I saw her and thought that she was retarded!! Truly, I did!! I said to my mother, I don't think she's crying because she's in awe of Sanjaya, she's probably crying because no one has changed her diaper! And when they kept panning over to her I asked my mother, "what's the fascination with this retarded kid?" And she said (which was brilliance) "British Invasion?? Remember all the crying, fainting little girls?" She's right. And yes, by the end of the show every time they panned over to that little girl it DID seem like she forced herself to cry HARDER. So by then, I devised my own little quote: "Que the CRIER!"

I couldn't stop laughing at no neck Melinda and her "Gee Whiz, Me?" face... Yet another ingenious creation by Flipit. Thank you for such a great recap!!

P.S. I totally missed Chris S.'s shoutout to VFTW - what did he say exactly?

The little girl was on the Today Show this morning. When I saw her on AI, I thought she might have some developmental issues, seriously! They said she was 13 on the Today Show and she seems about 8. I don't think it was fair to exploit her and also to show her 6 times during Sanjaya's performance even though she was probably crying for others as well (we saw her crying for Melinda at the end).

Melinda--she's great but seems very old. I think she'll need to hip it up a bit to win. Remember LaToya London? I think she had the same problem.

I think the only way to get Sanjaya off is to throw a lot of votes behind some of the contestants who have been at the bottom, like Phil Stacy.

Not sure if anybody mentioned this or not, but did anybody notice that Mexican dude in the audience checking out Chris Sligh's backside when he was walking in the audience? That was totally awkward and I couldn't concentrate on what was being sung!

By the way, Melinda's (AKA "Head And Shoulders") last note was a little off, but still a thousand times better than Sanjaya's best note. Poor kid.

I still like Blake the best because he is unique (unless everybody else who bore me to death). I thought Jordin did a great job and can't understand why Simon doesn't realize that some songs are MEANT to be gloomy. That was the whole point. It was great.

I like Gina but agree that she isn't a true rocker...but she's about as rock as Bo Bice, so there you go.

The judges are still annoying me with their comments, but I'll watch this show forever, so oh well.

Justine (Comment #7), you are totally correct!

lol #32...

And #30, I so caught that!!!! I thought that was so freakin creepy how that nasty looking pervert kept stareing at Chris Sligh! Just the thought of what he wanted to do to him.. *shivers

All the people who say Melinda's boring don't appreciate a true vocal talent, cause if you did, you wouldnt say that. Just my opinion.....

Wow, comment number 32 was actually from me, not anonymous. Anyway, yeah, that was the most ignorant thing I've heard anyone say in a long time. Well maybe not a long time, but at least on this post.

Tink: "I spit when I do that."

Yo Tink: Spitters are quitters!!!

Best moment of the night, in a show filled with many...

I also have to agree with Justine (#7). Melinda's really kind of boring and annoying to me... I agree she's a great singer but she always chooses these weird songs I don't know...
My favourite of tonight was Jordin. I like her better and better every week. Also, she's kind of the new McPhee. Katherine was also very giggly but very mature and serious when she was singing. I didn't like Kat that much. But I sure like Jordin :-).
BTW, I can't get enough of the Seacrest-Cowell back and forth. But maybe I'm just so bored with the Idol judges over here in my country...

Ah, Sanjaya. That truly was the most awesomely bad AI performance to date. It's like Chicken Little: The Return. And the last 30 seconds of the song? I swear, he just sort of scream/mumbled some jujumagumbo. Seriously.

And Phil - my lord. Tobacco Road was covered in all sorts of wrong sauce. His voice just isn't that great. And his head is too small AND I think he is some weird Magni/Chris Daughtry alien love child mix, with less talent and a more pointy head. His head has a nub...it's strange.

Jordin - very, very good.

Blake - I love him. 'Nuff said.