Well, ladies and gents, the first huge star of the season has been born. Since Tuesday night, the sobbing little girl in the AI audience has made headlines all over the world, appeared on the nightly news and The Today Show, and shot a four part TV movie about her life for FOX. Wow, fame works fast. Can firing her mother and slipping into a heroin addiction be too far behind?
Good for you, Betsy Wetsy! And please, America, let's not just eat this girl up, wreck her life and spit her back out again like we have so many other brilliant artists. Exploiting children is wrong!* This PSA has been brought to you by the Association of Chunky People In Bed With Candy Bars and Vodka Against Child Exploitation.
And now, without further bs from me, THIS. Is American Idol!
* We'll have our crying little Betsy Wetsygasm shirts up for sale by Monday.**
** Proceeds will not go to starving children.
First of all, I have to thank Darth Wader, who pointed out "that Mexican dude in the audience checking out Chris Sligh's backside" as he walked through the audience Tuesday night. I caught it in the remember last night clips and had to pause it, I was laughing so hard. Who says chunky isn't sexy? Also, for those of you who got pissy about me not mentioning Ryan's jerk off motion to the camera and Sligh giving someone named Dave a shout out, here it is in all it's glory.
To kick off the night, we are treated to the Guest Mentor Number. Since LuLu sat out of Tuesday night's show, I worry that she's gonna let Herman go solo at performance time, too. She wouldn't stop singing over everyone in her Mentor Session, so she better not be a diva and get an attitude like she has something better to do when someone actually asks her to pipe up. You know she'd just be sitting at home in front of her telly singing over Herman through his whole song. Come on, LuLu. Don't front like you're busy! Get your ass on stage!
When Herman entered (alone) from behind the sliding screens to show the kids how it's done, my first thought was thank God he's not wearing something see through like Miss Ross last week. When he started "There's a Kind of Hush", I said "Oh! That's who he is!" My Dad used to play that song in the car all the time when he drove me to and from soccer (hell) practice. Herman looks like he hasn't performed in awhile, but he puts on a big smile and goes for it. He does the bouncy bounce (is that move a requirement for the men on this show?), counts off measures with his fingers to stay on beat, and with big, wide eyes tries to imitate the voice he had back in the day. The throat squeeze thing worked well for him in his twenties, but it's weird coming from the current Herman. He comes off like he's trying to explain who Kermit the Frog is to a foreign child.
When Herman makes a bump and grind motion at the kids on the side, they react like Grandpa just pulled out the Macarena.
He may not be a Spring chicken anymore, but the man works the crowd with the confidence of a drunk trucker at a bowling alley's karaoke night (don't ask), and even though he pretty much blows, I can't help but like the guy. That said, when he ended the number with "husssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", I sang along. The lyric could only have been more pertinent if the song was called "There's a Kind of Shut the Hell Up You're Making Me Sad". Wow. That made me want to enter the song writing competition.
AI knows how to pay tribute to a Mentor, and this week they pulled out all the stops, going with a "washed up" theme in a laundromat for their Ford Commercial. Holla, Herman! How sweet! Doolittle's double did back handsprings on top of the washing machines and Sligh was played by a young John Goodman again, putting a nice long giggle cherry on top of the Ford Video Sundae. When it's done, Brad Garrett is sitting on the side of the stage with the contestants. Way to kill a laugh, Brad. I know he's jokin' around to plug his horrible sitcom, but I truly wish this was for real and America had the opportunity to vote him off our TVs for good. Aw, daydreams.
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Comments (19)
No, Stephanie did not deserve the axe. I was hoping for Sanjaya or Haley, but wasn't about to get my hopes up, even though I predicted Stephanie to be bottom 3 and Phil to be eliminated (with Gina rounding out the bottom 3). When Steph and Chris R came down, I was HOPING TO DEAR GOD that Timberfake would get axed, but I knew it wasn't to be... Kinda like when it came down to Taylor and Katharine last year.
Great little recap as always. Let's see if they make Chris Sligh give an excuse for the Dave comment next week to make us believe it wasn't a VFTW shoutout. :)
Next week also appears to be 90s Week. Get ready for the singers to pick songs they should knock out of the park, only to fail miserably. Except Melinda.
1 of 19 | Posted by Smoke_Rulz![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 1:10 AM
It's funny, they went through each group of three people, and Ryan indicated to them 'You are not in the bottom three.' When we get to the end with Chris and Stephanie, there are only two left. Therefore, someone from one of the previous groups actually WAS in the bottom 3, Ryan just lied to them.
2 of 19 | Posted by JJR | Posted on March 23, 2007 3:24 AM
Hey Flipit,
How come you didn't notice when "Herman" was lipsynching? Look at the end of the song. There's words being sung but his mouth wasn't moving. Actually it seemed to happen a few times during the song. How does that happen?
3 of 19 | Posted by Mommypug | Posted on March 23, 2007 5:01 AM
F*ING HYSTERICAL recap Flipit!!! You are bringing new life to this website, seriously!! FYI and I don't know if you honestly don't know this or if it was your friend MJ that talked you into it, but Stephanie Edwards is not going to perform in The Color Purple this Spring. LOL That is Fantasia Burrino (or however you spell her name)... WOW! LOL
4 of 19 | Posted by YouWannaBMe![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 5:30 AM
Great recap and screenshots.
Haley and Sanjaya are the most entertaining and deserve to stay. They really went for it this week. Stephanie could sing, but, well whatever.
JJR>> Ryan did not say 'You are not in the bottom three.' He said 'You (the group of three standing) are not our bottom three tonight.'
5 of 19 | Posted by soflat | Posted on March 23, 2007 6:09 AM
What? Stephanie Edwards isn't going to be in the Color Purple??? But, but, but she came in two weeks ago and sang a song from the musical and told us all about it, remember??? And then the 'Crest cut off Quincy Jones and then..??
Yeah, I'm sure we're all aware that it was actually Fantasia who will be starring.
Sanjaya is going to stick around for at least 2 more weeks, mark my words. Crying girl will ensure that all by herself. WAAAAAAAH!!!!!
6 of 19 | Posted by Krizzatch![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 7:48 AM
Isn't Dave the guy from 'vote for the worst' website or something?
I figured stephanie would be going sooner than everyone expected (she was being set up as the 'shocker' diva to leave), but no way did I think it would happen before Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina.
The worst part? The top 10 are the folks that are on the tour and continue to come back for the big finale. So now the teeny boppers are stuck with Sanjaya forever even if he gets voted off next week.
7 of 19 | Posted by Laurie![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 8:35 AM
okay, i just started watching american idol for the first time since the first season. so my comments have probs already been made by someone in the last five years. sorry.
flipit. i feel like you were there watching ai with me, because i also require copious amounts of mj and buttloads of trader joe's cookies to enjoy televison. so i'll pretty much be reading everything you write now. but i digress...
the one pale bald guy looks like voldemort from the first harry potter movie, and it really freaks me out. i hope he gets voted off.
8 of 19 | Posted by navajo![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 10:29 AM
That judge from SYTCD is also one of the AI executive producers.
9 of 19 | Posted by Peasppl | Posted on March 23, 2007 11:54 AM
YouWannaBMe (#4) - Flipit knows. XD
Laurie (#7) - Yes it was.
10 of 19 | Posted by Smoke_Rulz![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 4:21 PM
^ aarrgghh -- that was my comment.
11 of 19 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 5:19 PM
I, for one, miss B-Side.
12 of 19 | Posted by Testiculon | Posted on March 23, 2007 5:47 PM
Flipit, Liked your interview with your BFF--
Also, i think if Chris was truly shouting out to VFTW, he would have said "Hi Funny Stone" b/c Dave's avi name is thefunnystone--therein lies the distinction
13 of 19 | Posted by LaLioness | Posted on March 23, 2007 7:28 PM
i wasn't ready for stephanie to go but i'm not crying either...she wasn't all that great and Simon was right, she's lost her edge. I HOPE HOPE that next week sanjaya is out, but he probably won't be. Nosferatu's gotta go!
14 of 19 | Posted by jim | Posted on March 24, 2007 4:12 PM
Joseph Peter MacNamara
15 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 24, 2007 11:06 PM
Eric Marcus Dalton
16 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 24, 2007 11:08 PM
now my sixth sense is kicking in!
Anthony Francis Luegi
17 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 24, 2007 11:11 PM
you are a nut
18 of 19 | Posted by Flipit![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 25, 2007 10:34 AM
haley will make it to the top 5....
as shallow as it is, looks and sex does matter....there's always been someone hot in the top 5 for the past 5 seasons, and this year she's the only one to choose from
19 of 19 | Posted by katie | Posted on March 25, 2007 8:39 PM