Barry shows us what a face-lift feels like.

The groaning starts early for me as we watch the kids travel to Vegas for some inspiration by one Barry Manilow. I've never been a big fan of Barry Manilow, but then again, I'm also not above humming the occasional "Mandy" (or "Daybreak" or "Copa Cabana." Holy shit. What's happening to me??). Anyway, I'm expecting bad things from Barry, but he actually surprises me. He proves why he's been able to hang around for so many years: the guy really does seem to be a smart, knowledgeable musician. Barry helps all the singers not only sing, but find interesting, thoughtful takes on their songs. As a result, this week's episode features one of the strongest slates of performances in ages. Maybe next week the producers can tap the valuable resource that is Robert Goulet.

Mandisa opens the show by absolutely nailing her song. Whatever pitch troubles and nervousness she had last week are gone because she's flawless for the entire performance. I mean, she's truly amazing. She could eat Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais for breakfast. She probably already did.

Insert nasal growl here.

Oh Bucky. Bucky Bucky Bucky. I wanted to like Bucky so much. I wanted him to suddenly emerge as the guy who caught us all by surprise. Sadly, Bucky is just not meant for this competition. He growls his way through a Buddy Holly song, and despite his high energy and smile, it's just totally lame. Randy and Paula praise his energy, but Simon sticks him with the dreaded "Karaoke" label. He's gotta be a lock for elimination this week -- or at least bottom two.

Paris Bennett sings a solid version of "Fever." Thankfully, she does absolutely nothing this week to annoy me. She doesn't even sing through her interview with Ryan. However, her entire performance is completely ruined by Constantine Maroulis who pops up to give his signature, awful pout. Making matters worse is the presence of wannabe rocker Ryan Cabrera, whose only claim to fame was being Ashlee Simpson's boyfriend for about two seconds. His hair looks like a giant bird's nest, which then had me wishing a pigeon might fly into the studio and take a huge shit on his head. Alas, no such luck.

It's so awful in so many different ways.

This is embarrassing. Even Ryan Cabrera is bored.

Dreamy!

Do I really need to say anything about Chris? The guy's amazing. Chris reinvents Johnny Cash's "Walk the Line" into his own brand of generic, Fuel-type rock, but hey, it works. Everyone eats it up, as they always do. Some people are just naturals. Chris is one of those people (as opposed to rock poseurs Constantine and Ryan Cabrera, who appear on screen again to throw their support behind Chris).