Did you know that Idol Cares? From now until... forever Eastern Standard Time you can call in credit card donations. Need the number? Well good luck, cuz Fantasia's in the house to try and read it to you. She enunciates the phonics like a pro (fifth grader) and when she gets through it without stopping she nods at the camera like "that's right bitches! Tasia reads!"
This week's Ford commercial is a Circus theme. Only American Idol can make "Paint it Black" sound like it was written for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. They better hope Keith Richards doesn't hear about this. He'll snort someone alive.
Tink tells us that the combined weeks votes total over 135 million. Holy CRAP. Doolittle, of course is safe, leaving LaKisha and Powder standing next to each other. Was the dirty look from earlier all in my head?
Powder's out. He doesn't seem surprised, and he shows no emotion. He just flashes LOVE at the crowd and points to each audience member individually as he sings "Blaze of Glory". He walks toward his wife but grasps on to his Navy buddies first.
When he makes it over to kiss his cute wife, his little buddy is clearly over it.
What's awesome is that the real Powder went out in a blaze of glory too at the end of the movie. He saved someone's life and then ran into a lightning storm. Aw. Congrats, Mr. Stacey. You did a commendable job. I look forward to hearing you while I wait on hold for the gd cable people.
Now for the Idol Challenge! Who's not really a girl?
Tink let's Jordin sit down instead of torturing her like last week. Darn! It's between Blake and Cake, and you know Blake's not goin' anywhere. He's hipandcool. Timby seems to know it and whispers into Blake's ear while Tink draws his patter out as long as possible. Before we find out, Bon Jovi takes the stage and sings a song about making memories and doing lines. It's soft and sweet, and fitting right before Timby Cake's sent packing, Jon Bon blows some notes out of his nose so hard the center of his face pulses. Nasal singing is an artform!
Back to results. Timby and Blake stand center stage and do the finger diddle. Paula runs up and sits on their hands like a swing.
Tink asks them about being so chummy. They tell him they're best friends. Awwwwww! Timby says he'd even go home for Blake. That's big of you, cuz you're about to. I have to point out that Chris has been grabbing his peepee the entire show. I get that he's going for hip-hop, but tell me he's not stifling a boner. It doesn't matter who goes, because they're both going on tour! I hope they record an album together. Both of them singing off key might make a strange new harmony that will rock the world!
I hope so, because my world isn't gonna turn the same without my Cake boy. If a little wiggy wiggy can beat a cute little bubble butt, I don't know the difference between up and down anymore. Timby takes it well and growls it out one last time. He doesn't sound any better than he did last night, but the shot he gives me has already been faxed to Kinko's to be blown up to poster size. Can't miss someone when they're singing to you from your wall every day. Good job, Timby Cake.
Melinda sways back and forth as he sings like she's praying hard. You better pray, cuz next week's Boogie Night with Barry Gibb. Good luck with that.
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Comments (9)
teri seymour is simon's girlfriend. she is some entertainment reporter or correspondent out in LA. here is one lovely picture of her - you be the judge if that puppet is prettier
http://www.handbag.com/galleries/gallery/red_carpet/tv_awards/fashion_baftatv06/MemberID=17/
1 of 9 | Posted by DP Hooker
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Posted on May 5, 2007 7:13 PM
woah. she's hot. thanks dp. i vote for her. tink is showing some signs of crackage.
2 of 9 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 5, 2007 11:09 PM
Simons gf only does reports on ai and interviews simon. She's pretty, but she has a real wierd horse voice. I cant explain, but its hard to listen to.
3 of 9 | Posted by Cary
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Posted on May 6, 2007 9:46 AM
Simons gf only does reports on ai and interviews simon. She's pretty, but she has a real weird horse voice. I cant explain, but its hard to listen to.
4 of 9 | Posted by Cary
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Posted on May 6, 2007 9:47 AM
How'd you know I was a "BLAKER GIRL" !
5 of 9 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on May 6, 2007 8:59 PM
lol chooch!
and if this chick only interviews simon, isn't she in fact the puppet tink was referring to? he should just stick with his story. the bitch is a puppet. a hot one there are worse things u could be.
6 of 9 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 7, 2007 2:14 AM
Flipit, thanks for coming out and admitting that you loved TimberCake's bubble butt. It's been winning my vote since "Geek in the Pink." Between that, your claim to overeat and your love of Marlboro's, we may in fact be soul mates.
HEART.
7 of 9 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on May 7, 2007 9:45 AM
Flipit- I read the recap and chuckled at your kirk cameron reference...who's thought of that guy in the last ten years... Then a half hour later Nightline came on and featured Kirk Cameron as a religious LUNATIC!
http://www.wayofthemaster.com/
Random and HY-sterical!
8 of 9 | Posted by SidneyMac
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Posted on May 9, 2007 8:43 PM
Beautiful! Yeah he turned into a crazy Christian. He threw his career away because everything was too dirty and sinful for him to take part in. Poor Kirky. Thanks for the tip I lmao.
9 of 9 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on May 10, 2007 12:39 PM