We're Back! - 
by Papi
At last, we are home again.
Watching those audition episodes I didn’t think I was going to make it. I remember a time when they used to be fun--back when people really did audition because they thought they could sing. But now, people are just there to look stupid so they can get on TV. In the 90’s, you got into a fight on a daytime talk show; in the new millenium, you give a bad audition on American Idol. The famous Andy Warhol quote should be amended to fit the time times: now it seems everyone will be famous for 30 seconds. Blech.
So yeah, there was another “audition episode” on Tuesday, in Boston. Want a synopsis? Here it is: a bunch of imbeciles went to Boston and acted like idiots. Ta da! That’s all you need to know.
But Wednesday was the first “Hollywood” episode, and now we see the light. We finally get the people who can actually sing, people who aren’t spanking themselves or singing with their puppets or wearing clown costumes. We’re back to the good ol’ days, of wannabes singing their heads off with everything they’ve got and making desperate excuses when they aren't up to snuff. Ahh, this is the American Idol I love. These people who fight for their lives like gladiators facing the lion, refusing to go down without their pride. For those who put on a good show, you want to applaud and save their lives to fight another day.
Of course, some people we want to feed to the lions and watch them suffer. From the start we got jerk-off Ronnie “RJ” Norman once again, who (once again!) went beyond the acceptible level of “I’m gonna win this” bravado by informing the world of his superiority. Me no likey this guy. Even through my TV, he makes my skin crawl. So it was with great satisfaction that I watched him sing, blow kisses at Paula like he knew she couldn't resist, and then get cut right away because he kinda sucked. Yea! And he cried. That made me laugh a little. I’m a terrible person, I revel in the misfortune of others. But only those people I don’t like, so that’s okay, right?

RJ can now go back to the lucrative Freddie Prinze Jr. impersonation circuit.
Also cut at the first round was Steven David, the bald military guy who, in his first audition, picked up Paula and carried her out of the room while singing “Let’s Get It On.” His demise wasn’t as much fun. Whiny voice aside, I rather enjoyed him. He needs to audition for Thunder From Down Under or something, he’d be perfect as a singing stripper. He already has the military costume, if nothing else.
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