This week on Why Japan Kicks our Ass in the World of Technology: I am sorry to report that our judges have not been replaced with four poo-flinging monkeys. New York has completely failed to live up to expectations (thanks, Black Cougar, for trying). Chicago's going strong. Finalists for the two cities will be announced. The show's gotten so touchy-feely about the pursuit of the American Dream that my viewing experience is ruined. I'm no longer reeling with schadenfreude when I watch an inventor-hopeful get shredded by the judges. And how I love it (see: "pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune") when it comes to reality television. Damn you, American Inventor!
But you know where I can get a dose of mega-awkward ridiculousness and epic schadenfreude that rivals what I feel when I watch reality TV?
Anime Expo at the Long Beach Convention Center. That's right, I said Anime Expo. Don't look at me like that! I can explain.
As a belated birthday present for my little brother, who resembles a Japanese cartoon character himself with his stylishly spiked hair, I bought two-day passes to America's largest anime convention. Anime culture extends far beyond the reaches of Pokemon, "Spirited Away," Pocky, and characters with ridiculously large eyes that get teeny tiny when they smile. Really. Think Comic Con with tons of Ramen.
Pikachu, I choose you! And you! You all look the same!
People go all out for this annual festival, spending months making elaborate costumes that are scarily accurate and often disturbing to look at. You'll see what I mean. I figured my lil' bro would get to watch some new anime, drink some Ramune soda, and see how much cooler he was than the other kids. (Not that there's anything wrong with memorizing the dances and lines from your favorite anime episodes and then re-enacting them in full costume on stage. In front of like, 45,000 people. If that's your thing.)
Probably the most normal looking person besides us.
Cosplay (short for "costume play") is surreal when witnessed up close. There were a lot of 30+ year old virgins with Asian fetishes in attendance. As a small Vietnamese girl, I took the precaution of not dressing up in any sort of schoolgirl/maid/dungeon mistress outfit. With my Spanish boyfriend and some college friends for protection, I navigated Anime Expo without being harrassed. We actually felt out of place in our ordinary clothes.
So instead of tiring you with pictures of the judges about to die of boredom, I'll regale you with pictures I took of people who have a LOT of extra time on their hands. Let me just preface this with this: While I admit that I did laugh at a lot of the other attendees for their level of intensity and um, wardrobe decisions, I do admire their commitment to a vision. A lot of them invented ways to create things that had previously only existed on a drawing board. It takes dedication to make sure your toy weapon is exactly to scale -- in some cases, over seven feet tall. I'm not bullshitting you. Look:
Bear with me, please -- the normal, snarky episode photos will be back next week. I promise.
Oh. About that show that I'm supposed to be recapping...
We're back in New York on a quest more futile than the search for WMD's in Iraq.
America's fetish for toilet-related inventions has not diminished in the least. Sigmund Freud would say this nation is overly fixated with genitals and anything involving the use of them, no?
Building engineer Wigberto Delgado, 47, graces us with the Urinator, a toilet add-on that will revolutionize how we use the toilet all over the world. You'll never have to lift the toilet seat again. That is, if you have a penis or if you're a woman who feels comfortable peeing into a funnel. A funnel that's attached to the equivalent of a giant adjustable bendy straw so that you can extend it to different heights. That's probably the fastest way to get that pungent public restroom smell into your home.
Power Rangers would not use the Urinator.
"Do we expect men to go to the toilet in a cone everyday?" asks British Man. Unanimous no's.
Wigberto departs as his "ideas are flushed away," notes Nick Smith. The robot that writes the script of this show comes equipped with a random bad pun generator.
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Comments (1)
I loved the photos you used with this recap. How hilarious!
And you completely captured the chaos that was the dude with the posterboard. Can you imagine wearing a headband airbag? I was in a car accident last year and got airbag burns on my arm - can't imagine the fun I could get from an airbag headband. eeps.
So can you attend the Star Trek convention before next week's show?
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Posted on July 7, 2007 7:52 AM