Nick Smith is still our generic host, and the LA and SF winners will be announced by the end of this god-forsaken hour. Only one winner will get $50,000 dollars and compete against four other cities for the grand prize.

We're back in San Francisco, where 44-year-old mechanic Milton Butler and his wife chat it up with Nick. They're a friendly, laid-back couple who seem straight out of "Family Matters." Milton has 12 kids, 13 grandkids, and, oh wait, 12 more adopted kids. All this without resorting to polygamy? "I'm not sure what invention is most important," jokes Nick. Birth control is pretty great - if you're using it. I read "Cheaper By the Dozen" in elementary school, and was horrified that a woman would consent to spending more than a decade pregnant. Then again, my notion of pregnancy goes like this: You ate a really bad (possibly Chinese) meal that just won't leave your system for 9 months. It starts swelling up inside, and then bursts through your stomach (accompanied by a gush of goo, like Nickelodeon's Gak, remember that stuff?) and promptly attacks your face "Alien"-style, clamping on for dear life. Like this:

Milton wheels in the Lawn Master 5-in-1 mower. It edges, it weeds, it trims, it mulches, and it picks up the clippings. You can weed around everywhere. "This is a fat man's dream, I built it in my wife's kitchen," he explains. It can attach to any lawn mower, and cost about $12-15,000 to develop. Why is there so much dramatic string music? "Strangely, I like it as well," British man says. The judges unanimously vote yes on Milton.

A real fat man's dream is a gardener.

33-year-old Skylar Quarles is not someone I would trust to be my mortgage broker. I'm pretty sure he gets his clients by selling them used cars on the side. "Get ready for a revolution," he declares. Oh, I'm ready. "Just remember Skylar, this is not about you." People who deliver monologues in the third person should be shot.

He's here to show us Mind Frame. "Let me hear you say yeahhhhhh!" Skylar exclaims. Awkward silence. The judges aren't buying it. Even George isn't feelin' it. "That's right, I love the look on your face, I love your excitement, I love your professionalism," he continues in his best impression of a pyramid scheme presenter. British Man looks constipated. Skylar says that Mind Frame was developed for people to manifest...their destiny. It's a plastic bracelet with paper glued on it. One happens to be Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Ironic. "I need my own psychotherapist," Skylar confides. Having delusions of grandeur and traces of megalomania do qualify you for some help, buddy. There's a white towel on the pedestal next to him, and the judges ask what it is. "I'll tell you at the end," he says. "The end is now," interjects Pat.

It's the brain child of Mind Frame, and Skylar whips off the towel to reveal...an empty stand.

"What is it?"
"It's not there. If you vote for me, I will show you."
Oh, snap!
The judges deliberate long and hard over an invention that they can't see, and Skylar's revolution is squashed by four no's.

Gregory Smith, 53, is an unemployed bum with a nappy braid down his back. Dressed to impress in his finest red flannel shirt, he's created the Glove Inverter. For a bum, he has an unusually extensive vocabulary. It's used to turn "substantially thick material gloves" inside out to "facilitate efficient cleaning." His motto is "keep hands dry, fungus can't thrive."

How much hand fungus did this dude suffer through before he figured that one out?

« Recap: Inferno: Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? | | Recap: So You Think You Can Dance: Getting to Know All About You »

Posted in American Inventor by T.Vo | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Ubiquitous on Jun 19, 2007 03:12 AM.

Comments (7)

Ubiquitous :

People already buy this crap, they're called devil sticks or twirl sticks.

Thank you! I rememeber seeing those things at least twenty years ago! Stupid hippy.

1 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous | Posted on June 18, 2007 5:37 AM

Phil :

George Foreman actually said after the HT Custom Build Racers that when his kids graduate school, he wouldn't let them use a computer. Good luck with that George!

2 of 7 | Posted by Phil | Posted on June 18, 2007 10:01 AM

Phil :

Oh yeah, and the guy with the battery tester.....obviously he's never been to a Radio Shack. They've had battery testers for at least 25 years. Perhaps he waited to long to market his invention?

3 of 7 | Posted by Phil | Posted on June 18, 2007 10:04 AM

BlueEyedAngel :

you know, i didn't think i made up the battery charger my parents had in their house for the last 25 years or so. it even had a spot to test 9V batteries. although, there wasn't a cute smiley face on our version.

4 of 7 | Posted by BlueEyedAngel | Posted on June 18, 2007 10:23 AM

BlueEyedAngel :

you know, i didn't think i made up the battery charger my parents had in their house for the last 25 years or so. it even had a spot to test 9V batteries. although, there wasn't a cute smiley face on our version.

5 of 7 | Posted by BlueEyedAngel | Posted on June 18, 2007 10:23 AM

Merick :

That guy is a terrible person if he deprived his family of heat for something that he blindly assumed would help his invention. And if hadn't brought his kids or told his stupid story he never would have made it. What happened to those "it's too simple" comments?

6 of 7 | Posted by Merick | Posted on June 18, 2007 1:28 PM

Ubiquitous :

Yeah, I laughed when he said they had to eat "beans and eggs" for a year. I hope they had money for air fresheners!And his response to the judge who thought he'd been ripped off? "Yes, that thought did cross my mind". Priceless!

7 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous | Posted on June 19, 2007 3:12 AM

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