Wesley Caudill, 39, has spent five years and a ridiculous amount of money on his prototype. His entire family has sacrificed (probably ate beans and eggs for five years, like every other competitor who's sacrificed on this show). His brothers have also helped him financially. His invention is Expert Racers, the "first die cast competition racetrack, simulating real drag racing." I don't think so. Hot Wheels has a FOUR (count 'em, four) car racetrack, and Wes' only has two. Weak sauce. He challenges Pat to a race anyway.
Vroom, vroom, goodbye Wes.
He's spent over $300,000 on this. Wes' family got a business loan, and also clearly got swindled out of some money. His brothers took mortgages out on their home. Part of being good family is knowing when to stick together, but also having the courage to tell someone they're wasting their time (and your money). Time to vote!
SPANX says yes, Peter says no. Pat remembers matchbox cars and a time when he didn't wear ugly shirts. He says yes. George says,"Don't be discouraged, I took about $300,000 of my own life savings and invested in a boxer and watched it quadruple. Don't feel bad about the money you spent." The boxer he invested in was George, so...yeah. Not the same as a Matchbox/Hot Wheels wannabe. He gets a yes from George.
We're back in New York, and the people are still crazy-clueless. A montage of teary rejects is accompanied by Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings," because getting four no's is like being killed in slow-motion on a foreign battleground. Just kidding.
Finally, our last contestant of the day.
Filmmaker Silvio DiSalvatore, 49, is Yonkers. I mean, he's from Yonkers. He looks like someone straight out of "The Princess Bride" and he's out to save the day with the first, and only Black Cougar. He lives, breathes it, and craps it 24 hours a day. He's on an endless mission to cougarize America. He, too, is an eHarmony reject.
Silvo and my friends Katie & Mamut are starting a national phenomenon bigger than Pinkberry.
Silvio and Black Cougar enter dramatically with the aid of dry ice or a fog machine. Black Cougar is the first superhero with the goal of protecting children. If you forget about the Power Pack, Scruff McGruff, and D.A.R.E. (well, the goal was to get children to protect themselves, right?)
Black Cougar appears to be straight out of Comic Con. It took Silvio 22 years to make Black Cougar a reality. In 1985, he wrote a story about Black Cougar saving children from a kidnapping ring. When nobody picked it up, he made the film himself. He freely admits that he comes off as crazy. Self-awareness is refreshing.
Filmed in 2000, "Black Cougar" was allegedly released in the theaters (Silvio's backyard). He claims that the place was jammed, and that the kids went crazy over the Black Cougar and the one-foot dogs (dolls? I can't understand his Brooklynese) that assist Black Cougar in beating up the bad guys.
Silvio's got more moves than a kid who has to pee really, really badly.He's flailing and gesticulating like the Fonz on speed. He's also created the Black Cougar superhero action figure. To protect children. In very tight black pants.
"And I can't believe I'm pitchin' a cat to a network owned by a mouse," he finishes. End pitch.
He really should've auditioned for SciFi's Who Wants to Be a Superhero? reality show.
British Man: "So your invention is a cat?"
Silvio: "It's the only superhero with one goal, and that goal is to protect children."
British Man shrugs his shoulders, and says no. Pat says no. Silvio starts walking away.
"Wait!" says George. "Sometimes they talk us out of the no's. "Hey Mikey, I mean Black Cougar, come back," says Silvio. Oh no. The magic of Black Cougar has been lost. His real name is Mikey. George admires Silvio's white boots and says yes. SPANX says yes. What's she got to lose? Silvio urges Pat to say yes. but his vote is still no.
"You could slap a black cougar onto anything and it'd sell!" Silvio insists. "England?" (referring to British Man, I presume.) No.
"Go cougar!" cheers George. And that is the end of that.
Silvio isn't done. In his post-rejection interview, he goes on to skewer Pat: "Pat Crotchy - nice name! Who gave you a name like that? The 76ers suck! Philadelphia sucks! We don't care about sports medicine, we don't care about you Pat!"
On that point, I wholeheartedly agree with Silvio.
Next week: All our judges are replaced with monkeys. Poo-flinging monkeys.
« Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Performance Show: All About Song Choice | Main | Substitute Recap: Real World: The Plight of the Kinda-Star »
Comments (5)
Ugh, this show should be called "American Sob Story". I mean really, mr. $300,000 wouldn't have gotten through if he hadn't mentioned the fact that he's an idiot. I can not conceive how such a simple device could cost as much as three houses (here, at least) to develop.
1 of 5 | Posted by Merick
|
Posted on June 25, 2007 7:15 AM
What the hell is a new comic book character doing on this show?
2 of 5 | Posted by Ubiquitous
|
Posted on June 25, 2007 11:45 AM
Ok, your friend is wearing a Disneyland (or WDW?) birthday button. Awesome.
I missed this ep... looks like I missed some crappy inventions. Ugh. Thanks for your take on it.
3 of 5 | Posted by CrazyTrain
|
Posted on June 26, 2007 2:31 PM
Hey, thanks for posting my pic! Maybe I'll sell my ugly shirt on eBay!
Just to clear the air a bit, the producers edited out my introduction where I explain that the Six Tap is a NOVELTY product, you know, like the Beer Helmet. You can read more at http://www.SixTap.com
4 of 5 | Posted by Six Tap
|
Posted on June 29, 2007 2:17 PM
Hey, thanks for posting my pic! Maybe I'll sell my ugly shirt on eBay!
Just to clear the air a bit, the producers edited out my introduction where I explain that the Six Tap is a NOVELTY product, you know, like the Beer Helmet. You can read more at http://www.SixTap.com
5 of 5 | Posted by Six Tap
|
Posted on June 29, 2007 2:18 PM