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This is it Gasmi! This week we find out which crew will take home the trophy and become America's Best Dance Crew! It's a season for firsts! First females to win the trophy! First non-breakers to win the trophy! First season cast more for diversity than talent! First season so full of mediocrity that I wonder if I will want to watch season five!
I miss you
This week America's Best Dance Crew decides to rub salt in the open wound of Rhythm City's elimination by not only showing it again, but adding a clip of Alonzo backstage after the decision, wondering what they did wrong.
Maybe next time you should just fuck your girlfriend on stage. America seems to like that.
I really thought that I had gotten over the rage I felt at this elimination, but that clip brought it all rushing back again. I'm still pissed. Spoiler alert: I'm not going to cheer up any time in the near future.
So before we get into the recap this week I have to first apologize for my tardiness in writing this. I have no excuse other than a really really shitty week. I only hope that one day you all can forgive me.
Okay, let's get on with this week's show. I'm gonna need to start out this recap by saying I am super hella pissed. I'd like to have a word or two (possibly three or four) with the people voting for America's Best Dance Crew. Those words would go something like this.......What. Were. You. Thinking?!?!?!?!?
Can you guess which result caused me to look like this?
This week America's Best Dance Crew brings us all the latest dance crazes that I've never heard of. If that wasn't enough, they also have to do them on a trampoline. Also, face humping!! Why do I suddenly feel very, very old?
Hmmmm....I'm guessing either ball sweat or someone's stanky ass attitude. Take your pick.
Before I start talking about this week's show I'm gonna first apologize for this week's recap being later than usual. What can I say? Getting back to real life after a vacation is a bitch y'all.
I tried chaining myself to the boat, but sadly, it didn't work. Damn security guards!!
Anyhoodle, this week's challenge is Bollywood. I have to admit, I'm a little scared about this one after the way they butchered the martial arts challenge. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Afroborks or Beat Ya Asses get their asses kicked out the door tonight.
Poor Mr. Miyagi would be very disappointed in this week's America's Best Dance Crew. There is no painting of the fence. Nor is there any waxing on or waxing off (although Afroborike is certainly trying to get Shane to whack off).
Girl who undo fly with chopstick accomplish anything.
This week's America's Best Dance Crew is all about Beyonce. Well, not Beyonce the person, Beyonce's songs. Each crew will have a master mix of one of her songs with an added challenge element ranging from a real challenge such as dancing with a hula hoop or chain, to a piece o'cake "challenge" like popping the booty. But more on that later. Right now I have more pressing questions that I need answered like what the hell is going on with her eyebrows?
Malechi did them for me.
Welcome to season four of America's Best Dance Crew! For those of you new to the dance crew experience, it's sort of like So You Think You Can Dance, but instead of dancing in random pairs, people dance in groups. Not "randomly" assigned groups, they were in these groups before they came on the show. And they don't get styles assigned to them. Instead they get a different challenge each week. See how similar they are? Well, there's voting! And people getting booted off, so they're similar that way.
How do they get booted you ask? Well there's a sort of a dance for your life section that the bottom crews are put in, and then the judges.........Wait! Why are you questioning me?!?!? ABDC is like SYTYCD's second cousin (twice removed). If that second cousin (twice removed) was from the streets.
Did someone say street????
Don't get scared. You won't see her here. At least I think you won't see her here. God, I hope I didn't just jinx us.
Yo yo yo! So check it out, dawg. This here's a little preview special for season four of America's Best Dance Crew. Randy Jackson has put together clips from the first three seasons and made a list of his top ten performances of all time. But don't let that fool you. The real purpose of this show is to make sure you know that ABDC has moved to a new day and time: Sundays at 9pm. The premiere is Sunday, August 9th. At 9pm. On Sunday. The 9th. Got that? If you didn't, don't worry, Randy will remind you about five thousand more times in the next hour.
See?