This week America's Best Dance Crew brings us all the latest dance crazes that I've never heard of. If that wasn't enough, they also have to do them on a trampoline. Also, face humping!! Why do I suddenly feel very, very old?
Hmmmm....I'm guessing either ball sweat or someone's stanky ass attitude. Take your pick.
Wanna guess how this week's show starts?
Correctamundo! You must be psychic or something! The first match up is between AfroBorks and Vogue Evolution. I'm a little disappointed because I was hoping that these two would be the bottom two this week.
The first crew with a guaranteed spot on next week's show is..........AfroBorks.
The guys look thrilled
Mario tells us that each crew was given one of the biggest dance crazes in the nation. They're going to be judged on how well they add their own flavor to the assigned craze.
Of course we can't just leave it at dancing only. They have to be assigned some ridiculous task to add to the challenge. And so, they are told that they will need to incorporate a trampoline into their routines.
First up is AfroBorks. Layla gives them their assignment, which is swag surfin'. From what I see, swag surfin' is basically swaying from side to side in a grand plie position. It doesn't look much like surfing to me. And I used to watch Gidget, so I know what I'm talking about, mmkay?
Hmmmm, perhaps I was mistaken
Veronica tells us that when you do the move it's like you're surfing on a wave. Uh. Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Redundant. Oh! And it's all about attitude and swag. Alain tells us that they don't want to look like crazy people jumping around. They have to make it look like hip hop. Or a porno. Either one should work.
Afro-Whore-Icky
Where do I even start with this one? You know, if it wasn't for the fellatio grind in this routine, I'd probably say that this is one of their best performances. I mean, come on! Maybe next week they can fuck doggie style on stage.
Overtly sexual moves aside, this really was one of their best performances (not that that's saying too much), and I thought they used the trampoline well. I really wish someone would explain to them the difference between sexy and sleazy.
What Shane loves about this group is that they also come out with something different to blow his mind. Translation: Cunnilingus lifts and fellatio grinding give him a big ole boner.
Portrait of a horndog
OF COURSE he wants to go to a slo-mo of the mouth fucking. Because he is Shane, and that's how he rolls. He can't believe they let them do that on TV. Yeah Shane, neither can we.
Shane says he's been waiting for years for a show to let someone get away with something like that because where he's from they do stuff like that all the time, but when you get to national TV, they make you water it down. Remind me to never join a dance crew where Shane is from. I don't enjoy having someone's cock shoved forcibly down my throat. On TV or not.
I love that Mario says he knew Shane would ask for the replay of that particular move. Easy now Mario. It's not like you needed some complicated mathematical equation to figure that shit out.
I beg to differ. I had to take the square root of the algorhythmic hypotenuse, add the circumference of the penises multiplied by the swag factor and divide by three. Very complex.
Lil Mama thought it was kinda slow. She thinks their lifts was phenomenal, from the throwing over the shoulder to the transitioning, and things like that. It was cool. Slow, but fun.
JC thinks it was a good performance, but not a great one. He points out that there are five groups left, and says that at this point in the competition they're representing the five best dance groups in America. He needs to see excellent, not just good.
The number of times I'm agreeing with him this season is really starting to scare me
He goes on to point out sloppy moments during the routine, and says that while some parts were great, the choreography was a bit elementary. He won't say it was bad, just not excellent.
As if I needed any more reasons NOT to watch the VMAs
We're back from commercials, and the remaining three crews are on stage waiting to see which of them will join Vogue Evolution in the bottom two.
The first crew that is definitely moving on to next week's show is.........Massive Monkeys!
WOO!
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Comments (4)
I must say I have to disagree with your comments about Vogue Evolution. This was their best routine and their sloppiness was to the lowest level this season. I would have rather seen Afroborks go home (but we all do). But overall it was just another pathetic attempt by the crews on a challenge that was already done (season 1). And Vogue is used next week and of all the people who got it, We Are Heroes did.
1 of 4 | Posted by jarthon | Posted on September 10, 2009 10:58 AM
1. Pottymouth, you are awesome. This recap made me lol -- especially the picture captions again!
2. I was not sad to see VE go. I wonder if other crews say stanky things to the judges but they only get aired when it's time for them to go? Nevertheless, Leyomi's eye rolling and "kiss my ass" comment was classless and stupid. And I was not impressed by their routine at all (and the challenge was seriously lame)
3. WAH is growing on me. Second week in a row I loved their routine. I think it's because they stopped trying to pop and lock so much -- I know it's their claim to fame, but they kinda suck at it! I hope they make it to final 3.
4. Aforborks have got to go! I'm tired of their sleazy stage sex shows (and Shane's bonerfide reactions to said sleazy stage sex shows). They did better this week than in previous weeks, but I'm still tired of them.
5. I too was disappointed with RC -- I'm thinking they sometimes get distracted by their props (remember the bed routine?)
6. Massive Monkey's had the best routine of the night. I don't think they needed the trampoline to pull off those tricks though! But they used it well....
2 of 4 | Posted by Lizbot | Posted on September 10, 2009 5:00 PM
jarthon: If Afroborks and VE had been in the bottom together, I would have loved to see the Borks go. This may have been the cleanest routine for VE, but it was still too sloppy for me. I guess the style is just not for me.
Lizbot: It would be interesting to know what has been said by other crews that we haven't seen. I wonder if anyone else has a stinky attitude problem. WAH have been in the bottom more than the others and yet they seem to keep a good attitude. I'm glad they're starting to grow on you - I really like them.
SWAK, PottyMouth
3 of 4 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on September 12, 2009 4:11 AM
I actually had to wait to read this recap because I just now watched the show. I guess the time I had it locked into my dvr changed to something else, so, yah, I'm a bit behind the times.
Afroborks are just gross. Sorry, but no one needs to see you forcebly mouth -f your dance partner. That was sooooo inappropriate and I'm disgusted with Shane too.
Thank god VE went home. They are so sloppy it is appalling.
Okay, off to watch the new show now. Thanks for another brilliant recap, PM!
4 of 4 | Posted by zbird | Posted on September 13, 2009 7:42 PM