This week America's Best Dance Crew decides to rub salt in the open wound of Rhythm City's elimination by not only showing it again, but adding a clip of Alonzo backstage after the decision, wondering what they did wrong.
Maybe next time you should just fuck your girlfriend on stage. America seems to like that.
I really thought that I had gotten over the rage I felt at this elimination, but that clip brought it all rushing back again. I'm still pissed. Spoiler alert: I'm not going to cheer up any time in the near future.
As usual, the crews are up on stage awaiting the results. Mario tells us that tonight they will perform with every ounce of blood, sweat and tears in their final effort to win our votes and be crowned America's Best Dance Crew.
Please keep your semen to yourself this time.
Last week you voted and the top vote getting crew has earned a place in the finals. The other two crews will go head to head to battle for the last spot. Which crew received the most votes? Will it be the scrappy We Are Heroes? Or b-boys Massive Monkeys? Or perhaps the slutty Afro-Whore-Icky? The crew. That is currently number one in votes is......
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHY?!?!?!? SUNUVAFUCKINBITCHASSMUTHERFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a CROCK OF SHIT. I am so pissed off about this I think I may have actually blacked out for a couple of minutes. I cannot fucking believe that this crew is making it into the finale. Really? DO we need a Latino winner so badly that it doesn't matter if THEY SUCK ASS?????
Mario tells us it's time for the most grueling task of the entire season. This time around they're calling it the decades of dance challenge. Each crew received a visual master mix of some of the biggest trendsetters in the history of dance. They must master these signature moves while rocking their own style.
Layla goes on to tell the crews that the DVDs they are getting contain moves from five of the most influential dance icons EVER. They would be James Brown, Rock Steady, Paula Abdul, Usher and Lady GagMe. WTF???? I seriously don't know who came up with his list, but there is so much wrong here I'm almost rendered speechless.
Keep in mind she said most influential dance icons OF ALL TIME. GagMe is a dance icon?????? Can someone please explain that to me? How about Usher? MYV and I have a very different idea about who are dance icons.
And that's only four - there are so many MANY more. None of them is Lady GagMe.
They should have stayed with Mario's wording "trendsetters". I'm willing to give a little bit more latitude when using that word. Except in the case of Lady GagMe. Wait! I take that back. She's setting a trend of suck.
But then I remember that Afro-Whore-Icky is in the finals and I realize that it doesn't even matter. This show has gone from being awesome for me to being stupid and lame. All in one season.
Of course the Whores love Lady GagMe and Blondie's dream is to one day dance with her. I don't think they're too worried about replicating her "Style". I wouldn't be either. Pop rocking looks like it is freaking them out the most since it involves classic b-boy moves. Or maybe just because they suck. I doubt we'll ever know for sure.
And according to Blondie ABDC actually stands for AfroBorike Dance Crew. I cannot say this enough: SHUT UP BLONDIE.
Remember the last time you went to your daughter/son/niece/nephew's high school musical production? It was so incredibly painful to sit through, but you did it because you love them, and then you lied and told them they should be on Broadway? Not that I would know, but this is even worse than that.
They are out of sync, their choreography is unoriginal and way too easy, oh, and I hate them. The only remotely interesting thing that they did was the lifted windmill. It cannot be said enough that their James Brown section was a disgrace. Knocking your knees together while swaying back and forth does not even come close to emulating James Brown.
Hate HATE Hate HATE. I cannot believe that this fucking crew has the possibility of winning this season. UGH.
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Comments (3)
I actually MAJORLY care who wins. If it is the Afro-whores, then I just might not watch Season 5, and I've been beyond loyal to this show. And it's season 1 Kaba, not Kappa. But you pretty much called everything that needed to be said about this episode.
1 of 3 | Posted by jarthon | Posted on September 25, 2009 10:50 AM
There's really only word that can really sum up how I feel about this season: meh.
It's been fun reading your recaps, though, and I look forward to more AfroBorks bashing next week!
2 of 3 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on September 25, 2009 2:42 PM
jarthon: I'm REALLY hoping Afro-Whores don't win. I said what you did that if they won I may have to stop watching. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for a WAH win!
here4beer: I couldn't agree more. It makes me sad that this season has been so disappointing, but this is what happens when you cast for diversity rather than talent. I'm glad you've at least had fun reading!
Thanks for reading and commenting! Hopefully we'll have something to celebrate tonight!
SWAK, PottyMouth
3 of 3 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on September 27, 2009 12:56 PM