"Yep... Still drunk"
Last time on "AGT"... well, who the hell knows what happened? Last time "AGT" was on, I was on a beach in a foreign country. And I guarantee you David Hasselhoff was the last thing on my mind. The show doesn't even have a proper recapping section because, hey, let's face it, every episode is the same, except with one or two fewer people, right? Anyway, I come to find that the people left on the show are Terry Fator, Julienne Irwin, Robert Hatcher, the Glamazons (REALLY??), Cas, Butterscotch, Sideswipe, and Douchey McDouchertons. I guess there's no accounting for taste. Hey, shocker! Each act is singing-based! I'm telling you, there's a 3-judge show just like this that's already on nine months of the year. As Jerry leads us into the show, we're told that this is the finale. Wait, what?? The finale??? The finale!!! YES! I've never had a better back-from-vacation gift in my life. Welcome to almost-the-last-episode of America's Got Talent!
So apparently they're gonna narrow it down to the top 4 and then they'll perform for... ALL OF AMERICA! Wow! I'm putting my money down right now for Cas Haley, Butterscotch, Jason Prickhead, and then... a wild card. Honestly, if America DOES choose Prickhead, it could be any of the others in 4th place. The first person chosen is...
Mr. JollyFoots!
Yep, Cas Haley. O. Snapp: 1. The next is... wait, no, they're going to make him perform now. Right now?, I think. Isn't that a little abrupt? And to make it even more intimidating, he (and everyone else, the moment they're called) has to sing a song the judges have chosen for them. Ouch! I wonder if it's more nerve-wracking for the performer who just got called or the others who have to wait 15 more minutes to find out if they're through.
Anyway, The Hoff declares that they have chosen "Can't Help Falling In Love," originally made famous by Elvis Presley, then made re-famous by UB40 for that awful Sharon Stone movie "Sliver." Ahh, memories. Hasselhoff explains this choice by saying they want to see if Cas can make himself as memorable to the judges as Elvis and UB40 did. Wait, what? Does anybody even remember what the dude from UB40 looks like?
NOT CUTE
Just a little refresher for ya. So Cas sings his heart out, and I just hope that they told them the song choice earlier this week, at least. I'm pretty sure they did. Not to do that would just be sadistic, wouldn't it? Or maybe just great television, forgotten lyrics and such. In any case, Cas Haley does a lovely job, just beautiful if you ask me. A little shouty, but hey, that's just passion, right? He gets a standing ovation (like everyone else will) and the cameras cut to a shot of his buddies in the audience, who all are wearing those bright yellow Lance Armstrong "Live Strong" wristbands. By the way, wouldn't it be much funnier if the bracelets said "Arm Strong" instead? I mean, they ARE meant to be worn on your arm after all...
How many testicles do YOU have?
Moving on... we get to see who's called next and Carrots Julienne has never looked so dramatic. I feel like she might break out into Hamlet's soliloquy at any moment.
"To get a makeover... or NOT to get a makeover..."
But she's not chosen next, it's actually Butterscotch! Yes! O.Snapp: 2 for 2. Wow, I hope they all get called in the order I chose, too. They choose "What's Goin' On" for her to sing, which will probably be hard to beatbox, but whatev's. Let me tell you, our Elfin Princess is lookin' FINE tonight in a sparkly silver dress and ringlets. Like she just dropped right outta heaven... OR RIVENDELL!!!!
Well done, Hair And Makeup. Well done.
As much of a fan of Butterscotch as I am, this is a hard song, and it's definitely not her best performance. She doesn't have the strongest singing voice, and I find myself shouting at the television, "BEATBOX, Baby! BEAT IT!" But she does no such thing and I am left unimpressed. This does not bode well for our Highness.
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Comments (1)
All four are truly winners already. And you're a winner for writing great recaps. And I'm a winner for not watching.
I'd be happy for whoever wins - they are all likeable. (But, gee, do they deserve a million bucks, especially compared to the people on Last Comic Standing or So You Think You Can Dance?)
If I had to decide, I'd give first nod to the beat box girl, and 4th place to over the rainbow (mostly because she isn't ready yet).
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Posted on August 16, 2007 8:37 AM