Fortunately for us, in this performance she gets back to doing what she does best, which is beatboxing and looking demurely shy, though this time more confident. Surrounded by dancers and commanding the audience, she beats and sings it out of the park, never missing a step along the way. She's a truly natural performer, even if the fireworks at the end of her act do come 10 seconds late. Say, I wonder what her real name is? Buttina Scott? Ha. Maybe it's something totally square, like... Margaret Smith or some shit. We may never know, but she does explain that her nickname is such because she is "Smooth like butter, (wicka wicka!) hard like scotch." God, she's adorable.
And GOD, I wish I had hair like that.
Next, Terry Fator is up, and he tells us that he's been doing this since he was 10 years old. Wow, he's really been shunned by all of society for a long time, huh? Well, he's getting the last laugh now. He's got a 25% chance of winning a million bucks. Actually, when I put in percentages, 25% doesn't seem like much. 1 in 4 chance sounds better. Take that, bullies! His rendition of Roy Orbison's "Crying" is not his best ever, but he certainly is still the best ventriloquist I've ever seen.
Enjoy a lifetime of ridicule, kiddo.
Finally, we're down to our last act of the night: Potatoes Julienne. I swear to Christ, every interview she does is so goddamn annoying. Yeah, WE KNOW this is your dream, WE KNOW dreams really do come true. God, I hate teenagers. To make matters even worse, she's going to sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." Fucking great, now she'll get the teenage girl vote AND the old vote and gay vote.
She emerges onto stage from a ceiling hammock, not to be confused with a banana hammock. No, wait, it's only cardboard crescent moon. It descends slowly down to the stage as she sings, and I find myself strangely... moved. I hate to say this, but... I actually loved her performance. She's still too young and immature to win, but this rendition made me actually, sort of, kind of, you know... respect her. A little bit. And her extended standing ovation from the audience may very well be an indicator as to who America will choose as their winner.
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Well, shit. This is a hard one. I want Cas or Butterscotch to win, but I know that both Terry and Julienne have good chances as well. But how lame would it be if an underage female singer won the competition two seasons in a row? Come on, America. Don't be so predictable. I mean, we all love Abigail Breslin, but let's not get carried away here.
So who'd you vote for? And, more importantly, who do you think will garner the most votes (don't forget about that pesky Midwest!)? I'm not sure how they'll turn next week's results show into a 2-hour extravaganza, but I am sure that I'll be ready with my snark notebook and a good cocktail. See you on the boards!
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Comments (1)
All four are truly winners already. And you're a winner for writing great recaps. And I'm a winner for not watching.
I'd be happy for whoever wins - they are all likeable. (But, gee, do they deserve a million bucks, especially compared to the people on Last Comic Standing or So You Think You Can Dance?)
If I had to decide, I'd give first nod to the beat box girl, and 4th place to over the rainbow (mostly because she isn't ready yet).
1 of 1 | Posted by NightWalker
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Posted on August 16, 2007 8:37 AM