As I'm watching him humiliate himself, I think to myself, "Holy Christ in heaven, THIS is one of the three people who have been choosing the talented and fame-worthy for the last 10 weeks?" I mean, not that that thought didn't occur to me immediately the moment I was asked to recap the show, but the sentiment never really hit home until I endured the three longest minutes of my life watching him sing. I mean, so bad that even Paula Abdul would laugh him off the stage. It's not even a fast and fun song where he can at least bury his voice into a disco routine, for God's sakes, it's a goddamn ballad!
This is the moment... when I finally kill my television
Piers even declares his love for the Hoff. I promptly draft a letter to Piers expressing my concern about his Vicodin addiction.
Okay, everybody, we've survived that, and we've done it together. We get to see more montages about each remaining performer's "journey" and then Jerry utters that... the winner.... of.... "America's.... Got.... Talent".... is..... well, someone with a bad case of blue balls, because they drag it out for twenty minutes and another commercial break. When we come back, we finally get to see who it will be. Imagine my face totally agog when this dude was announced as winner:
Are you SERIOUS, America???
I can't even believe it, but I do have to say it's adorable to see him shaking and crying with happiness. I mean, he really has worked a long time for this and probably endured ridicule from tons of people. Now it's finally paying off! To the tune of $375,000! Well, that's just fucking great, I'm very happy for him, but I still wish Butterscotch would have won. Who do you think should have won?
As always, recapping this show has been fun (though weird), and I'm glad to have shared the highs and lows of Piers' and the Hoff's feuds with you... all three of you. Hope to see you on the boards for this and the next show I recap! love, O.Snapp
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Comments (7)
Great recaps, O Snapp! They kept me hooked on this show & were more than an adequate substitute on the weeks when I missed it. I, too, was incredibly bummed that Butterscotch lost. I'm also a big fan of the Plus Sized Pussies, but let's face it, they really weren't great singers or dancers. I just admired their chutzpah.
1 of 7 | Posted by rhm
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Posted on August 22, 2007 11:21 AM
You are actually one of my favorite recappers and I just wanted to say you did a great job!
Did you really want Butterscotch to win? My bf did as well, but I don't get it. She couldn't sing, and the last time I actually watched this show she didn't even beatbox which was supposed to be her talent. And yeah the puppet guy was good, but Cas should have won, he was the best.
Although I'm embarrassed to admit it, I love the song Red Red Wine!
Anyway can't wait to read your recaps in the future.
2 of 7 | Posted by dmbislove
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Posted on August 22, 2007 12:01 PM
So sue me. As talent goes, Terry Fator showed more than anyone else. His act is impressive, actually singing in someone else's voice through a freaking puppet and NOT moving his lips. Hell, Rich Little made a living impersonating straight out.
I liked Butterscotch's 'tude when she first started her trek. Cocky and in your face, cool and tough. Then they started gentrifying her. They took away her edge and turned her into a black Julienne. Too bad.
Cas was definitely my second choice and I think he'll make a great go of this chance. And I, too, like UB-40's rendition of "Red, red wine". Sorry 'bout that.
As a showcase of American talent the show is as cheesy as its "judges" and the host. Truly mediocre talent that wouldn't pass first audition over at "Idol". I mean, "boy Shakira"? and the Bollywood dancer? And, heven help us, THE DUTTONS?
Mercifully, it's over. What the hell, it keeps the Hoff employed. But we need another dour Englishman. Piers is just an asshole.
3 of 7 | Posted by Tony A.
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Posted on August 23, 2007 6:35 AM
I too, very much like Red Red Wine, written by Neil Diamond and sung very well by the UB40. That puppet guy WAS super talented. He won me over with Roy Orbison turtle.
4 of 7 | Posted by james_woods_rules
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Posted on August 23, 2007 12:27 PM
O. Snapp, thanks for taking the bullets for us, I can't believe you actually sat through every episode of htis drek. Any idea which show you will be recapping next?
5 of 7 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 24, 2007 4:23 PM
Thanks, again, for taking the bullet(s) so I didn't have to watch.
Great recapping.
This poor imitation of The Gong Show is a real waste of time (TG4 the DVR).
6 of 7 | Posted by NightWalker
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Posted on August 24, 2007 4:38 PM
Hey y'all, thanks for your comments! I'm glad to give you a giggle now and then. The next show I'll be making sure you don't have to watch is "The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search For The Next Doll" which I also did last season. It's gonna be awesome! See you in a few weeks!
7 of 7 | Posted by O. Snapp
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Posted on August 25, 2007 11:23 PM