This week on America's Got Talent, the Semi-Finals began, which means that the crap from the audition round has been waded through and now we're at a slightly lower level of crap. How lovely. Oh who am I kidding? In the fight for my immortal soul between the smartly written and beautifully acted Deadwood and the shitshow that is America's Got Talent, The Hoff has brutally killed Swearagen and pissed in his skull. And I'm okay with that. Let's see what the semi-finals brought us, shall we?
Here are the semi-final rules that surprisingly, make absolutely no sense. The judges put 61 acts through to the semi-finals, so over the course of 4 nights there will be 15 acts per night. 15 acts, yes, but not 15 performances. What is that you say? Madness! Why indeed it is! Apparently, there isn't enough time for all 15 to perform on television. Then why put all the acts through in the first place? It just makes no sense and it's bad planning. So all the acts had to perform for the judges off-camera and the judges picked the 10 performers they wanted to see again. How riveting! So now all 15 acts are in the studio audience waiting for Reege to call them up one by one - because the 5 losers who don't get to go on again have absolutely no idea. Over the course of two nights - oh that's right, they've taken The Hoff into results show territory -two acts will be put through to the finals. Tonight the judges will make their pick; on Thursday, the audience vote is revealed. It's just a little all over the place and doesn't have that air of composure and organization that a one Mr. Ryan Seacrest exudes. Oh, they've also gotten rid of the buzzer system. Well, not exactly, just now the buzzers can either be a check or an X, and they symbolize whether they should go through, not their overall talent. Don't think too much about it. It's better that way.
Taylor Ware
Taylor Ware is the AAAAdorable yodeler who stole our hearts in the audition round. Last time we saw Taylor we discovered that she learned how to yodel using a book, and this week we get to see it. The book is literally called, So You Want To Yodel? I don't know why that makes me laugh, but it does. Again, the crowd loves her and the judges love her - and I submit that none of us know what we're talking about. I mean, would you know a good yodeler from a bad one? Regardless, you just want to dunk her in your coffee, so it's okay with me. She's a frontrunner to get voted through. Hooray!
All That
I hate All That passionately the first time we saw them, because I just think they are pretty lame. They were a lot better this week, but they still didn't do anything for me. Oh and apparently they are not dancing sprites or tap fairies but rather cloggers. It's an interesting distinction. The only promise is that none of them blew out their hair this week, although one of the guys is rocking out a faux-hawk which is as hardcore as a clogger can get I think. Brandy and the Hoff loved them again, as did Piers, except he wants them to dance in business casual attire next time. He doesn't like their look. I don't either - but I don't think that the khakis and button down shirts he suggests are the answer. Although it would be fun to watch cause it'd be just like those snazzy Gap commercials from a few years ago. Fall into it, baby.
Kevin Johnson
Kevin Johnson is the crazy talented ventriloquist with the two bird puppets, Matilda and Clyde. I really like him, but he does a variation of the same schtick as last time, and I'm a little underwhelmed. Still when the guy throws his voice, it's kind of freaky. And not a "The Hoff's mullet doesn't ever move" freaky. Freaky in a good way. The Hoff challenges Kevin and the birds to push themselves further, but Piers wants to know that there is more to Kevin than just this one bit. I want to know that there's more to me than watching mediocre talent competitions. The vote is still out on both accounts.
Alexis Jordan
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Comments (4)
I can't figure out why I'm still watching this show week after week. I know it's bad -- terrible -- and yet each time I see it in the TV listings, I turn to that station and am riveted. Did I mention how awful the show is and what a waste of time it is to watch?
1 of 4 | Posted by AppleBlossom
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Posted on July 18, 2006 12:17 AM
I didn't really watch this show since it was on opposite Nightmares and Dreamscapes but I did catch a few of the acts THe Millers included. Now while I'll admit that that kid can really play the harmonica I'm rather surprised that everyone (who watches the show, so you know not that many people) is so blown away by him. Haven't you ever listened to the blues? Great harmonica players are a dime a dozen in the blues genre, and there have been many that are better than him, granted he is young but I just don't see what makes his play so special. Aside from that I wanted to say that Corina absolutely destroyed Knockin' on Heavens door, she sounded really bad, if she has stuck to the old school Dylan version she could have killed it but she went with the much more dull Guns and Roses version. I just realized that this is an incredibly long post for something I didn't even watch...
2 of 4 | Posted by wniffene
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Posted on July 18, 2006 6:08 AM
Whew - thank you AppleBlossom (#1) - I'm afflicted with the same condition...maybe even worse - I actually DVR'd it last week since I knew i'd be watching Project Runway "live". When I actually watched AGT, I kept thinking I should just fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, but I didn't - I kept wasting time riveted to the screen. What is wrong with us?
I did have to laugh when Mr. Dog Whisperer Dude got silence from the audience after his horrible act. Even the dogs were rolling their eyes.
Damn - 3 more of these semi-finals?? Maybe they'll have a vaccine ready for us by next week...
fb22
3 of 4 | Posted by fieldboy22
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Posted on July 18, 2006 6:43 AM
Sorry but I just don't get the Millers. Maybe I had too much of Taylor Hicks' spastic leg tics but to see that encased in leather pants from a chubby 13 year old... not impressed at all.
4 of 4 | Posted by MrsC
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Posted on July 18, 2006 2:52 PM