Why does Nick always open the show from some random part of the theater? Usually the camera pans away and he's in Sharon's lap or something, but it's still a really weird tease. Anyway, AGT is trying to save a few bucks on the lighting and Nick welcomes us under what appears to be a moderately-strong flashlight. So there's a recap of everything that we saw not twenty-four hours ago, and it's time to pick the five that are advancing.

In a half-assed imitation of the "Live! From Hollywood! This is Dancing! With! The! Stars!" guy, some techie mumbles an opening. Nick does some more recapping (leave it to the pros, Cannon) and then we get an extended montage of what happened last night. But wait, you might be screaming, you already said there was a recap of last night! Well get used to it, AGT viewers, because I have a feeling I should [ctrl] + [c] that phrase right now. Nick, in all his intrepid journalistic splendor, says he wants to address Acro-gate. For those of you non-Washington-insider types, Piers insinuated that Arcodunk missed their final basket last night. This was wholeheartedly denied by the dunkers, but who can we trust? Nick reveals that he played basketball with Piers recently (and there's at least six figures for anyone who emails me a tape of that) before running the tape.

The cameras did that weird twisty thing and ruined any possibility of verification from the angle we saw, but luckily we have another camera. And he did make the dunk! Piers was wrong! Aren't you glad we spent your valuable time on this highly significant point?

So Piers owes Sharon and David money and now we get to welcome in the whole crew. Nick does this really annoying thing where he puts intense emphasis on the last syllable in their name (Manuela HORN! AcroDUNK! Thia MeghiA!) and everyone gets some cheers. Here's the first valuable info Nick has ever given us- (given US!) the votes pick the top four, then the judges fill in the last spot. And now (at ten minutes in) we're ready for some results. Acrodunk and Breaksk8 are called forward and there's a summary (surprise, surprise) of what the judges said about each of them. Nick says that only one of them is safe, and not shockingly, it's Acrodunk. They celebrate as Breaksk8 tries to be good losers. Unfortunately for us, they succeed. Alright, one stupidly-named, letters+numbers group out! Acrodunk makes fun of Piers for doubting their dunk, and Piers praises the danger and excitement of what they do. I'm still suspecting that they might run out of gas next round or the round after. Which will be in about ten years, knowing this show.

So after the first break, Nick reminds us that we have talent from every corner of America (specifically LA, New York, and Chicago) and on that somewhat-related note we welcome the Season 2 winner, who signed a 100-million dollar (!!!) Vegas contract. He's apparently the most successful reality TV contestant of all time. I guess it's hard to argue with 100 million dollars, but I would still make a strong case for Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

So he sings with a dummy, but then Nick sits back down. Hi-oh! It's singing + ventriloquism, and it's mildly entertaining. The guy's got talent, that's for sure. So remember audience, we did it once. It's not impossible we'll do it again. Just highly improbable. We get a quick look back into the "Orville Lounge," where last night's acts relaxed in a hideously-painted space roughly the size of a closet.

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Posted in America's Got Talent by Moorels at 4:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: Anonymous on Aug 8, 2009 09:59 AM.