Cowboy Nick Cannon welcomes us back, and after the standard montage of interesting-looking acts that clearly didn't make it, we meet Pam Martin and her dog Viva. She's got a sweet story about picking up dancing with Viva after her husband passed away, but as I recall we got a similar sob story from that other dog guy and then he had some random chick celebrating with him afterwards. She introduces her dog as Viva Martin to the judges, and it's here we realize that as sweet as she is she's still one of those people that dress up their dogs and give them their own last name. Piers tries to pschye her out with some talk about the biggest talent show and the biggest stage, etc, but Pam is off and running. They do a really cool number where Viva is jumping on Pam and spinning in circles, and the problem with recapping this show is that the actual talent tends to make it difficult. Bring Divani back, I've got another whole paragraph worth on her stupid smile!

Pam finishes up to great audience applause. Sharon says she's fabulous and gives Pam the chance to talk about the canine freestyle that they do. David says it's the best dog dance act he's ever seen, which is high praise coming from a notorious follower of the canine freestyle scene like Hasselhoff. Piers makes the admittedly clever 'Viva Las Vegas' pun when voting yes, and Pam in going onward. Pam and Viva celebrate with some more dancing and again, it's break time.

The show returns, and immediately I'm comfortable knowing that we're inexplicably visiting another city AGAIN. Welcome back to Miami, where we have been but apparently need to revisit. Nick is in some Corvette that he won't shut up about, there's a lot of B-roll of Miami that I'm sure we saw last time we were here, and after the standard audition montage we're set to go again. Up first (for the second time that we're in Miami) is Marty the Magician, and jeez, my Arrested Development magician material turned stale after the first episode. Marty talks about how seriously he takes this and how he would never screw up, which vetran watchers of really any show can identify as likely preceeding failure for Marty. There's funny footage of him answering his cell phone as "Marty the Magician" and he continues to yak on about people talking about him for years after his shows and how he's the best undiscovered talent in America. Man, if this guy's talent is being a tool, consider him on to Vegas. Yeah, yeah, you won't lose, let's get your ass-kicking on with. This, readers, should be sweet.

Minor chuckles as the 25-year-old says he's been doing magic for 20 years, but I'm sure the real fun is to come. He brags some more, Sharon tells him to put up or shut up, and he's off. He starts by spitting out some cards, then asking everyone to clap, then doing more stupid card tricks. I suppose if he had used magic to MAKE everyone start clapping then that would have been impressive, but as it stands he's Marty the Polite-Asker. Piers and Sharon look extremely bored as Marty actually does a semi-cool cup levitation, but it in no way makes him better than any other magician we've seen. In fact, I figured out how he did it as I typed that last sentence. Two Xs from the judges as he lays his assistant down and makes her levitate, and again it's not terribly impressive.

Piers explains to Marty that the audience hates him because he's the most annoying man in Miami (Nick must have stayed in Houston) and David says the card-eating was cool and that's it. Marty switched to slimy begging mode and asks to just get another chance in Vegas, but he's got three nos and looks like he plans on waiting for the judges in the parking lot.
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Comments (3)
Not to nitpick but when Hairo was performing, Nick said it looked like he didn't have any "bones", not "balls". Because of all the awkward positions he was putting himself in.
I hate Nick at this point as much as you do (why do they keep going away from an interesting act to show his reactions? Jerry wasn't this insecure.) but he wasn't at fault THIS time.
1 of 3 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 7, 2009 4:22 AM
Anonymous, if you watch the Susan Boyle clip, the hosts on Britain's Got Talent do the same thing. I'm guessing we got it from them.
I think the red thing on Marty the Magician's jacket was some sort of high-tech nametag. I'm pretty sure the red spelled out Marty.
2 of 3 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 7, 2009 8:48 AM
p.s. can't wait til big brother.
also, I thought Hairo was good, but IMO nowhere as entertaining as other breakers shown on SYTYCD.
3 of 3 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 7, 2009 8:54 AM